The happiness of a marriage is often closely related to the parents between the two families on the one hand, and the marriage relationship that the parents support can make the marriage of the couple more smooth, and will also avoid many problems and contradictions, which can make the feelings between each other more smooth, and for the parents, in the face of the child's feelings, it is also necessary to understand each other, to consider the child's real feelings, rather than just considering some material conditions, ignoring the child's true feelings, and finally affecting the feelings of the two people.
Kong Fan (pseudonym) and his girlfriend Liu Xiao (pseudonym).
Kong Fan and Liu Xiao have been together for more than a year, the two people work in the same company, because getting along day and night also makes each other feel affection, because they have reached the age of marriage, the two people talked for a year and met their parents and prepared to get married.
Just to say that the feelings of two people are relatively good, both people feel that each other is more suitable, and also feel that the other party is suitable for marriage, but there is a certain degree of inappropriateness for family conditions.
Kong Fan is the only child in the family, although the family conditions are not so excellent, but after all, it is the heart of the parents, and the family has prepared the house early, and Liu Xiao's family also has an older brother, Liu Xiao's brother is 30 years old this year, has not yet married, from the beginning of the Kong family did not care, after all, it is still mainly Kong Fan, but in the later contact more and more things make the feelings of the two people contradictory.
In Liu Xiao's family proposed a bride price of 180,000, to buy a house again, write the names of the two people, the Kong family has a dissatisfaction in their hearts, after all, the house has been bought before, and it has been decorated, you can move in at any time, but now it is going to sell the house to change the house, naturally it will cost a lot of money, and the bride price is quite high, so it has been unwilling to agree, hoping that Liu Xiao's family can relax, but it has not been properly resolved, and the marriage has been dragging on. Liu Xiao's family believes that the house that Kong Fan now owns is written with his name, and it belongs to premarital property, if Liu Xiao may have a very low status in the family after marrying, and there is no sense of security, in case of divorce later, then Liu Xiao's future life will be very sad, so insisting on having a new house is also a guarantee for future life.
In order to alleviate this problem, Kong Fan also took the initiative to go to Liu Xiao's home to explain the situation:
"Auntie, if you get married in the future, the two of us have a deposit in hand, and we will definitely buy a new house when we have the ability, but the pressure to buy a new house is indeed a bit big, on the one hand, the various expenses of getting married are quite large, on the other hand, the current house is sold and can only be paid down to buy a house, and the mortgage at that time also has a certain pressure, and the family also hopes that we will live a better life, what do you think?"
Liu Xiao's mother said:
"Auntie also knows that it costs money to get married, it is not easy, auntie's family will also work hard to help you, but you also know, Liu Xiao is also our heart meat, she married into your family is also across a city, after marriage home is also less, it is also considered to be far married, aunt family is also worried about her future losses, you also have to understand and understand the difficulties of auntie." 」
Kong Fan insisted on refuting:
"Auntie, you can ask Liu Xiao, I like her very much, there is also a lot of emotional foundation between us, will certainly not let her suffer losses in the future, this year you should also know that I am very serious about Liu Xiao to pay, bought her a lot of gifts, go out to eat, play, are also I am paying money, and this marriage proposed the bride price and various costs our family are recognized, agreed, so the family is still very supportive of our feelings, but also very recognized Liu Xiao, It's just that the house thing is really for our consideration, you see that the dowry of eighteen thousand is already very high, other weddings require our family to have no objections, and the house is really just to not bring too much pressure to our lives, just to make life easier, so we don't want to change the house, these are only for our future married life considerations. ”
But Liu Xiao's mother said:
"Child, your aunt does not want to listen to this, not married so calculated, now even if it is so clear, just say your pay, your family's pay, do not consider our family's pay, this is not right, the daughter is married to your family in the future, our family certainly does not want to be sad in the future, we also have to worry about the daughter after marrying the past, there is nothing to speak of, if it is really divorced, you also consider for us, the next few decades no one dares to guarantee ah." 」
Kong Fan also calmly replied:
"Auntie, you also know that you are not married, now you are not married, you began to worry about the future divorce, began to worry about the future divorce Liu Xiao no house, life is not good, how do you not want our life to get better and better, we have a year of emotional foundation, I know in your heart, when you get married, you all agreed to the conditions put forward by your family, even if it is such a high bride price, our family also feels that after all, it belongs to the distant marriage, it is agreeable, but the house thing is indeed difficult for some strong people."
Although Kong Fan's words were a little excited, he expressed the dissatisfaction in his heart, and in his heart he always felt that it was naturally difficult to accept the days of divorce before he was married, so he said it, and Liu Xiao's mother also said that she would consider it again and ended this exchange.
This matter did not talk too much later, and Liu Xiao's family did not go to the Difficult Kong family again, but because of this matter, the relationship between the two families has always been a little tense, in the hearts of Kong Fan's family, they always felt that Liu Xiao's parents were somewhat unreasonable, so they had been dissatisfied in their hearts, and even wanted to give up this marriage, but they had not officially proposed it, and this matter also led to a little estrangement in the hearts of the two families.
Write at the end:
I have to say that when this relationship faces material conditions, because of their different starting points and different places of consideration, it will lead to the delay in unifying the opinions of the two families, and gradually lead to contradictions.
Therefore, when facing feelings, the most important thing is to tolerate each other, consider each other, and let the emotional basis of two people start, so that we can make the feelings go in a better direction, rather than obstinately going their own way, so that the relationship is getting worse and worse.