Text/Little Snow Mom
Now young people have children, generally the elderly help to bring the baby, mainly the economic pressure, but also the mortgage car loan is the child milk powder money, only rely on a person to make money is difficult to support, bao mom after maternity leave to return to work, then the old man with the baby has become the most economical, but also the most reassuring choice for parents.
But the old man is old after all, not all the elders have time, like some families are grandparents, grandparents take turns to take the baby, this way of taking the baby is called "duty with the baby".
"Duty style with baby" has become a trend, and the elderly on both sides take turns to take up their posts
Colleague Xiaolin took three months of maternity leave after giving birth, and she rushed back to work, because the couple was still carrying a heavy mortgage, her husband's salary was not very high, and the family's expenses were getting bigger and bigger.
However, Xiaolin also has concerns, the couple both go to work, who will take the child? At first, the couple thought of letting the in-laws help with the baby, but considering that the in-laws' health was not particularly good, they simply let the in-laws and their parents take turns to take the baby.
The in-laws take the child for a week, and then the child's grandmother and grandfather take a week, usually take Monday to Saturday, and the couple on Sunday two rest with their children, so that the elderly on both sides are not so tired, and they also have time to accompany the children, which can be described as killing two birds with one stone.
For this arrangement, at first Xiaolin was very satisfied and felt that it was most appropriate, but after taking the child for a while, Xiaolin found that many contradictions gradually surfaced, and Xiaolin did not know where the problem was.
The elderly on both sides take turns to work, which seems fair but not a lot
In fact, many families are now in this way of taking a baby, although it seems to be fair, but the way of handling is not balanced, it is easy to have problems.
First, the gap between taking turns with the baby is obvious
Originally, I took turns to let the old people on both sides take the baby, I didn't want the old man to be too tired, but really this way with the baby slowly a lot of problems came out. Because there is no contrast, there is no gap, if the child's grandmother is very careful with the baby, it will appear that the grandmother is not so careful with the baby.
Put on the children, it is natural to hope that the elderly can take the children seriously, but if the gap between the attitudes of the elderly with the baby on both sides is too large, it may make other elderly people or parents have opinions, affecting the family relationship and the relationship between husband and wife.
Second, every elderly person has his own parenting methods and concepts
The two sides of the elderly life attitude, parenting concept are very different, in the process of taking children may cause a conflict of concepts, today grandma let wear diapers, convenient and simple, tomorrow grandma to use diapers, think that diapers are too expensive, consumption concepts are not the same, it is easy to have family conflicts.
And grandma and bao ma have a heart, parenting methods and life attitudes are very similar, the probability of contradictions is relatively small, but between bao mom and mother-in-law because of the difference in parenting methods and lifestyles, there may be a big contradiction, so that the mother-in-law contradiction will be more acute.
Third, the elderly on both sides rushed to "compete for favors" with their children.
The elderly hope that the child can kiss himself, and often ask the child "do you prefer grandma or like grandma", this invisible indoctrination is also very embarrassing for the child.
After all, the elderly on both sides have been dealt with, and the elderly on one side teach the child to "speak", and these words are transmitted to the ears of the elderly on the other side, which will cause the elderly on both sides to be hostile to each other and compete for each other's children, but the children will have problems, and the children will be embarrassed in the middle.
Take turns with the baby to avoid the short, punch card with the baby is more advantageous
The disadvantages of the elderly taking turns to take the baby in a short period of time are relatively large, and there may be more problems, on the contrary, another kind of "punch card with baby" has more advantages, and the elderly are not tired parents also have time to accompany the baby.
This kind of "punch card" with a baby, refers to the day to let the elderly help with the child, at night parents leave work from the hands of the elderly to take the child over, and the elderly return to their own lives after work, so that the elderly are not so tired, parents also have time to take care of the child, but this way of taking the baby, the elderly are not very far away, but also has certain limitations.
In fact, the old man to help with the baby, but also just a helpless compromise, for the child the best candidate with the baby, or father and mother, the old man is at most under the control of the child to eat and drink Lasa, as for the child's education, more responsibility lies with the parents, this is the elderly can not replace.
Young parents do not think, the elderly manage the children and manage all kinds of housework at home, parents do not care about anything and do not ask, so it is not good for the child, but also will annoy the elderly.
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I am Xiaoxue mom, a post-90s mother, pay attention to me, and share scientific parenting knowledge every day!