Wen | Cheats Jun
It is said that the most important thing for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along is "distance produces beauty", but after having children, because the little couple has to go to work, the child's grandmother will come to help with the baby. In this way, the "beauty" generated by distance will be broken.
A mother said that she has a mother-in-law that everyone says is good, and since the birth of the child, the mother-in-law has begun to help herself with the child, and it has been three years. During this period, both relatives and friends, as well as neighbors and neighbors, praised her for her blessings, saying that her mother-in-law was kind and kind, and could work hard to bring her children. She listened to the mixed feelings in her heart.
Why? In fact, she knows that her mother-in-law is very kind, and she also admits that her mother-in-law is a good person. But she didn't want to get along with her mother-in-law anymore.
Because the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along is too complicated and too delicate. Many times the difficulty of getting along with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not bad for two people, it can only be said that it is "inappropriate".
Many families have situations like this mother. Under the same roof as the mother-in-law, there is no principled big problem in stumbling, but there are many contradictions. In the spirit of "turning a blind eye" mentality, those discords are like Zhang Ailing's "fleas on the robe", which will cause people small problems of biting sex.
If the difference in personality between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is too large, this kind of discord is only a lot more, and it can be described as "raw and accepted".
This mother told me that she and her mother-in-law caused a lot of friction because of personality discord. The mother-in-law has a cheerful and outgoing personality, speaks with a big grin and does not hide it, and is supposed to get along very well. But she is introverted and sensitive, unable to express her gratitude to her mother-in-law, and some suggestions in life. Especially after she was inadvertently offended, she could only endure it herself.
For example, after work at noon, when she saw her mother-in-law still downstairs holding her baby in the sun, she was anxious, because it was too late to eat fresh. At this time, the mother-in-law will often pick up the child and say, "You see, you don't let me cook, I see what your mother eats." She was very uncomfortable to hear this, was the lunch specially made for myself?
For example, the big grinning mother-in-law's desire to control is not small. When I go out in the morning, my mother-in-law will scan her up and down again, "Your clothes are a bit old-fashioned" and "The shoes are not suitable for this outfit, and others will laugh at you if they don't say it." She sometimes retorted with a sentence of "Mom, don't you care?" "Mother-in-law does not think so" to give you some advice can not be? ", the next day as usual.
I guess many people will have a little trouble like this mother. Everyone will say, the old man left the old house to help you with the baby, more gratitude on the line, the small details of life do not care too much, who is not a blind eye. But as a daughter-in-law, I also have a lot of grievances in my heart.
But there is no way, or that sentence, the old man came to help, how to make the couple more concessions. It is not a big issue of principle, and it is generally tolerated.
But what is the big question of principle?
I still recommend that when the mother-in-law gets along with the in-laws, there is a contradiction in the communication on the same day, even if it is a small contradiction, even if the other party complains that you are making a fuss. Because if you want both sides to get along harmoniously and harmoniously, you don't have to have one party to bend and seek perfection. The true and long-lasting harmony of the family must be felt comfortable by both parties in order to be maintained.
Of course, the focus of communication is to keep emotions under control. Some elderly people can't listen to others talk about their shortcomings, emotionally easy to lose control, when communication becomes a quarrel, the scene is difficult to control. The attitude is not humble, the tone is warm and firm, and the husband agrees in advance, and the husband comes forward to sit, which will make the communication effect better.
【Topic Discussion: After having a conflict with your family, do you have any good solutions?】 】
Senior nursery, psychological counselor. Understand the parenting and psychology, but also pay attention to the self-growth and family management of baoma, and strive to be the intimate person of mothers.
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