Text/Little Snow Mom
With the increasing pressure of young people to support their families, many elderly people have joined the ranks of children with babies, children are born and go to work, children handed over to the elderly is also considered to reduce pressure, plus the elderly mostly love children, and it is more reassuring to hand over to the elderly children.
However, many people find that in the process of bringing a baby, the elderly often clash with the parenting concept of young parents, and the elderly with a baby is not as perfect as their parents imagine, and many people have certain differences about the elderly helping to bring a baby.
Xiao Meng is a post-90s mother, because of the house bought with a loan before marriage, Xiao Meng went out to work again half a year after giving birth to a child, and the child was handed over to the mother-in-law to help bring.
At first, Xiao Meng was very grateful to her mother-in-law and helped take the child to relieve a lot of pressure for the little two, but under the same roof, the contradiction between Xiao Meng and her mother-in-law became more and more obvious over time.
What makes Xiao Meng most angry is that he and his mother-in-law have some problems in the concept of parenting, and the mother-in-law not only can't listen to it, but also sulks and deliberately says some bad things about the mother in front of the child, and even scares the child. In the end, Xiao Meng still had a big fight with his mother-in-law and invited his mother to come and take the child.
Xiao Meng can understand the hardships of the mother-in-law with the baby, and usually treats the mother-in-law very politely, but when the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have a conflict, the mother-in-law says bad things about herself in front of the child, and even scares the child: "If you are disobedient again, your mother will not want you!" This way of provoking the relationship between mother and child with a baby is really impossible for Xiao Meng to accept.
After That, Xiao Meng also complained with colleagues and friends about her mother-in-law, but she did not expect that some friends also immediately echoed it, and she was very disapproving of some methods of the elderly with babies, and she knew in her heart that the elderly were not easy, but some of the behaviors with children made people feel very uncomfortable. In particular, the following four kinds of behaviors with dolls are called "fake baby".
These 4 kinds of "false baby" behaviors of the elderly make children very headaches
The first is to pretend to be hard in front of the children, and the children are alive and jumping
Before there was a private message from my mother to complain to me, I and my husband have to go to work to support the family, the child will be handed over to the mother-in-law to help bring, every time the whole family is there, the mother-in-law will shout bitterly and tired, saying how difficult it is to take the child, and it is arm pain and physical tiredness, which makes the little two very embarrassed, and it is to give the mother-in-law money and reduce the burden of the mother-in-law as much as possible.
But then once I went home halfway through an affair, passing by the small square next to the community, I saw my mother-in-law and several elderly people happily dancing in the square, and the child sat alone on the toy car alone. Bao Mom understood why the mother-in-law always shouted that the body was tired, and the feelings were dancing and dancing, not with the baby.
In fact, the experience of this mother is also very common, some old people in the face of their children, show a look of tearing with a baby, but the children left immediately Ge You lie down, and is not really responsible for taking the baby.
The second kind is to indulge in playing mahjong and take the baby without care
My friend complained to me that her mother-in-law especially likes to play mahjong, and when her little two go to work, her mother-in-law either takes her children to play cards with her friends or organizes a game to play cards at home.
The child is alone in the corner, bed to play toys, the old man is addicted to playing cards to the child cares very little, once the son's head accidentally hit the foot of the bed, to the friend heartache straight to tears, although the mother-in-law repeatedly guaranteed, but it did not take long to play cards and cards.
In this regard, many mothers also have opinions, saying that if it is not a lot of money in the family, they really will be at home full-time with their babies, without the help of the elderly.
The third is to scare the child into saying bad things about the mother
Taking children is a very laborious thing, when the child thinks of the mother, it will cry and make trouble, some old people will be patient and appeased, but some old people have poor patience, they will deliberately scare the child, "You are no longer obedient, your mother will not want you", in front of the child to express some not very good meaning.
This way of taking a baby is not good for the child's growth, which will affect the feelings of the child and the mother before, and it is also easy to cause contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so when encountering this situation, it must be stopped in time.
Fourth, the elderly insist on their own parenting style
The older generation relies on experience, some of which parents do not have, and has great advantages, but there are also some cases where parenting methods are backward and unscientific.
Sometimes bao mom puts forward opinions, the elderly may feel that the children are picking faults, the heart rejects and does not agree, the two sides are easy to conflict because of this problem, and poor communication will also cause contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Of course, we believe that most elderly people are thinking about children and children in their hearts, and there will inevitably be differences in the process of getting along, but more importantly, they still have to communicate with both sides to solve.
I am Xiaoxue mom, a post-90s mother, pay attention to me, and share scientific parenting knowledge every day!