Often ignore the child's feelings, but mistakenly think that the child is disobedient.
We can recall these common scenarios in the family.
When the child says, "Mom, I'm tired. ”
Mom replied, "You've just taken a nap, you can't get tired." ”
The child was very impatient when he heard his mother's response, and he said loudly, "I'm just tired." ”
Mom continued: "You're not tired, hurry up and change your clothes, we're going out." ”
Then the child starts crying.
The mother's response is to tell the child not to believe his feelings and to act according to the mother's judgment. This is obviously not taking the child's shoes to understand them.
Some parents do not realize that they and their children are actually two independent individuals, your feelings are different, and there is no right or wrong feeling. Parents cannot force their feelings on their children.
Let's take an example and think about it in a different way. Let's say your boss assigns you a job outside of your duties and asks to be done that day. It just so happens that you are very busy on this day and have forgotten about this task. When you are about to leave work, your boss comes to you, but he does not listen to your explanation at all, and he has a tantrum. In fact, you were so busy today that you didn't even eat lunch.
When you got home, you told two friends about what happened today. What will a friend say to you?
The first friend said, "What's the big deal, don't be unhappy about this kind of thing." You may be tired to make such a fuss. Come, laugh, and it's over. ”
The second friend said: "Today is really bad for you, you have endured so much pressure, and you have been trained by your boss, and you must be very uncomfortable." ”
Doesn't the response from a second friend make you feel better? Each of us does not want others to ignore our feelings, especially when it is uncomfortable, and we want others to listen to us.
Children are actually like this. When they are tired or uncomfortable, they also hope that their parents can recognize their feelings, rather than blindly saying that they are disobedient.