1
You took risks as a teenager
A study in Maryland, Washington, suggests that particularly strict parents, both verbal and physical abuse, may encourage negative, risk-taking behavior. For example, girls become more sexually disturbed and boys engage in criminal activity.
Lead author Rochelle Hentges of the University of Pittsburgh said, "If you're in this harsh or unstable environment, you tend to seek immediate returns rather than focus on long-term outcomes." ”
I hitchhiked in France with my best friend when I was 17 and had just £100 in my pocket. Those days I was fearless and took unnecessary risks because I didn't have freedom at home.
2
You're a good liar
As a teenager you have to follow strict rules, which means you'll soon become a skilled liar.
I remember the first lie I told my mom. She sent me to the corner store to buy 5 pounds of potatoes. Because she was so strict, we didn't get pocket money, and the candy was no exception. So I cleverly bought 4 pounds of potatoes and spent the rest on the candy.
Canadian psychologist Victoria Talwar believes that children with strict parents are more likely to lie because they are afraid of the consequences of telling the truth. Therefore, strict parenting will not only encourage dishonesty, but will actually increase the child's ability to lie.
3
Your friends are just as important to you as your family
Children from strict parenting backgrounds have a closer relationship with their peers than their parents. If your parents are cold and ruthless to you, you are less likely to form an intimate attachment to them.
Growing up, however, children need to find acceptance and recognition somewhere, so they turn to their friends.
"When you have this parenting style, from a very young age, you basically get the message that you're not loved and you're going to get this rejection message, so it makes sense to try to find that acceptance elsewhere," said lead author Rochelle Hentges of the University of Pittsburgh
As you grow, you become more and more dependent on your friends. They become family structures that you have never had in your home. Now that you are an adult, your friends and your family are equal.
4
You dress conservatively
Strict parents like to control their children, from what they eat, what they watch, what they read, to what they wear. So it's likely they bought your clothes for you.
It doesn't matter when you're a toddler or toddler. But for teenagers, clothes are a form of self-expression. In school, everyone wants to adapt, and we wear the same clothes to do it.
I remember having a few "Carrie" moments in my teenage years, thanks to my parents choosing clothes I could wear. I went to the school disco in flared pants (it was the '70s!). Everyone else was wearing skinny jeans. I took off my clothes for swimming lessons and saw how out of place my polka dot bikini looked because my classmates were wearing standard navy blue swimsuits.
Their laughter still echoes in my head today. So whenever I see something I want to buy that's a little outrageous, I immediately go back to those awkward teenage years.
5
You are mature and financially independent
There are some benefits to having strict parents. When I was younger, I had to earn my pocket money by getting a piece of paper. Our holidays were for the whole family working at night, and when I got my first job, half of my salary went into the family fund.
Working for others at a young age also makes you feel responsible. You learn to think with your feet, and you're interacting with adults on the outside. You have to rely on yourself and come up with solutions. You learn how to budget, you know what to spend how much, and appreciate savings for your own experience.
6
You are not a picky eater
Maybe it was that generation, maybe it was my strict mother, but when I was a kid, when my dinner arrived, I was asked to eat it.
If I don't like it, that's fine, but my mom wouldn't do anything else. Never a choice. You eat what you get. We never question what we have. No one ever asked what we wanted.
Now, I see my friends cooking a few different meals for their children because so-and-so doesn't eat so-and-so. I'll at least try something. If I really don't like it, then I won't eat it.
7
You understand delayed gratification
Delayed gratification postpones immediate rewards to later larger rewards. Studies have shown that the ability to delay gratification is an important factor in success. It helps to motivate and enhance intellectual and social responsibility.
Living with strict parents means you don't have a lot of time. You may not participate in the same activities as your friends. The gifts you receive are different from your friends. You have stricter curfews and less freedom. Therefore, you have to learn to wait for something pleasant in your life.
8
You like to shock people
In my house, swear words are absolutely not allowed. Even the mildest profanity a priest could utter in his sermons was seen by my mother as satanic bile.
When I was almost 13 years old, I used it as a weapon, and today I still like the shocked look on people's faces. It reminds me of the appearance of breaking through the strict parenting. They were always so stiff and sullen; I just wanted some kind of reaction.
One study highlighted the effects of strict parenting. This suggests that for some children, harsh parenting styles, such as yelling and punishment, only cause them to behave more and rebelliously.
"For some children, strict parenting will work. I know I have a child and when my wife raises her voice, he will go straight back and do the right thing. The other, though, will explode. Lead author – University of Georgia Assaf Oshri
9
You respect education
I was fortunate enough to attend a girls' grammar school. However, because my parents chose this school, I spent the first two years rebelling against the teachers, the class, and the system as a whole.
It was only when a teacher asked me to sit down and explain that this amazing education was for my benefit and not for others that I realized how idiotic I was. Now I go to great lengths to help children avoid making the same mistakes.
10
You appreciate law and order
As someone who grew up under strict parents, I got used to curfews and kept an eye on borders. At the time, it was very painful and embarrassing, especially in front of my friends. Now I understand that it means my parents care about my well-being.
For example, I remember coming home late one night and my father went crazy. I've never seen him so angry, and probably never again. I'm in my 50s now and can only imagine what's going on in his head.
Final thoughts
Did you grow up with strict parents? Can you relate to any of the above points I mentioned, or do you have some opinions of your own? Why not let me know?