1. Interviews with parents
In individual counseling for adults, we can do counseling work with clients individually and without contact with the client's parents or anyone else.
However, when consulting with underage clients, we can not only work alone with our children, but also the involvement of parents is a very important part.
First, parental involvement is required when the counseling begins with the signing of informed consent forms.
Generally, before the first psychological counseling begins, the client needs to understand the content of the informed consent form and sign it.
For adult visitors, they can sign the informed consent form themselves.
However, for underage clients, we need to not only let the child understand and sign the informed consent form, but also let the parents of the underage visitor understand the relevant content of the informed consent form, and only after the parental consent can we start formal psychological counseling.
Therefore, at the beginning of psychological counseling for minors, it is not possible to completely exclude parents.
After the counseling begins, the counselor is required to conduct parental interviews, which is an important part of the minor counseling process.
Why do counselors need to do parental interviews in underage counseling?
1. It is beneficial to help the child
On the one hand, allowing parents to participate in their children's counseling can make children feel the care and attention from their parents for his growth.
On the other hand, the child will see from the parents' interviews that the counselor is not only connected to him, but also to the parents, which will make him trust the counselor more.
2. Parents have the right to know
Counseling ethics mentions that parents have the right to know about their children's counseling, which is also a right granted to parents by relevant laws.
In the consultation, the counselor arranges parent interviews, which can make parents more aware of the child's psychological development, which will also make them feel more at ease.
3. Ensure the safety of consultation
By arranging parent interviews, parents can get more information and add to the protection and treatment of their children to help prevent the recurrence of injuries;
It can also allow the consultant to avoid encountering some unnecessary troubles, such as legal and ethical disputes.
This will be relatively safe for both the client and the consultant.
However, sometimes the counselor may encounter a situation where the minor client is reluctant to involve the parent or guardian in the consultation, refuses to communicate with the parent or the relevant guardian, and the parent is eager to get the child's idea from the counselor.
At this time, the counselor still has to maintain communication with the parents, and we can take other methods, such as setting aside the last 5 minutes of time to communicate with the parents alone when consulting with the child.
Of course, before communicating, we need to determine with the minor visit which ones are not willing to let the parents know, and if these parts do not belong to the confidentiality exception, then the counselor needs to tell the parents these parts.
If these already involve confidentiality exceptions, such as suicidal behavior involving clients, the counselor should communicate and give feedback to the parents as soon as possible.
Otherwise, once there are some serious consequences, it is difficult for us and the visitors to bear.
It is important that we have informed consent before the consultation begins, especially with regard to confidentiality and exceptions.
1
In the first interview, how does the consultant inform the relevant principles of the interview?
Children's counseling is generally brought by parents, and we need to tell the child and the family all the content of informed consent when the parents and children are present for the first time.
We can tell the child, "Because you're a minor, I'll talk to your parents alone in addition to talking to you, and if possible, we'll do family therapy, but with your consent." ”
If the child says, "I don't want to talk to my parents, I just want to talk to you alone." "It doesn't matter, we can then consult with him alone."
However, we will make it clear in the first consultation, "I can talk to you alone, but after each conversation, I may still talk to your parents, or after talking to you a few times, I will talk to your parents again." ”
At the same time, we also have to tell him, "If I talk to your mom and dad alone, I will protect your privacy while we talk." That is to say, if you do not agree to talk about these parts, I will not tell your parents. But we have a confidentiality exception, and there are some things that can't be kept secret for you. ”
With advance notice, clients are not too resistant when subsequent parent interviews or break confidentiality exceptions are broken.
2
How do we communicate with our children before conducting parent interviews?
The individual counseling time is usually set at 50 minutes per session, so the counselor can communicate with the child for 40 minutes and then leave 10 minutes to communicate with the parents.
In the follow-up consultation, the counselor and the child can tell him after 40 minutes of consultation: "We may talk about this today, and I will talk to your parents for the remaining 10 minutes." ”
At the same time, we must explain the content of the confidentiality agreement, and we must also ask the visitor whether there is anything we do not want us to say to our parents, that is, what content we do not want our parents to know.
The counselor can say, "I'll keep what we talk about confidential." What do you think are the parts we can't talk to your dad and your mom about. ”
He may tell us something that cannot be said, so if it is not a confidentiality exception, then we cannot say it.
When this communication and confirmation is done with the client, we can conduct parent interviews.
If the client continues to prevent us from talking to our parents, we have to discuss his worries and concerns with him, "I talk to your dad/talk to your mom, what are you worried about, what are you afraid of?" ”
If we can solve the child's worries, parent interviews are generally not a problem.
2. Regarding confidentiality exceptions
In addition to parent interviews, we also need to explain to underage visitors the relevant aspects of the confidentiality exception.
For example, it involves suicide, injury to others, sexual assault, including sexual harassment.
As can be seen from the above content, we cannot keep this part of the content of the minor visitors being injured confidential.
In the area of secrecy of campus violence, we may hesitate a little, feeling that this is not something that must be said.
In fact, for the content of campus violence, we have to see who the perpetrator is, whether the teacher is violent to him, or whether his peers are violent to him. If school violence causes serious harm to visitors, this aspect cannot be kept secret.
If school violence has occurred in the past and no longer exists, and visitors have the confidence to deal with similar situations, and we feel that the harm is not serious, then we can choose not to say this part.
In general, parent interviews and notification of confidentiality exceptions are necessary tasks before we can do all the counseling of minors.
If we do not explain this part well, we are likely to encounter some unnecessary trouble in the follow-up consultation.
If the client does not agree with this, then we cannot do counseling. At this point, our attitude must be very clear.
In the position of a counselor, we must have a certain legal awareness and understand the relevant content of counseling ethics, especially when we are consulting with children under the age of 14.
If our actions violate relevant laws or consulting ethics, in the event of a dispute in the future, we as consultants will need to bear legal risks and relevant ethical penalties.
Therefore, as counselors, we must know where the boundaries of the law are, where the boundaries of ethics are, and we must protect our clients and protect ourselves at the same time.
Third, after parental interviews and confidentiality exceptions, there are some things that children are not willing to tell us?
Sometimes, when we touch some part of the visitor, the visitor will actively avoid that part.
What should the consultant do at this time?
Self-awareness
At this time, we may subconsciously/consciously or unconsciously not explore that part of him because we are afraid. Because we don't know how to face it after exploration, how to deal with it.
So, we have to be aware of ourselves.
For consultants, there are some parts that may cause difficulties for our follow-up consultation if we do not ask clearly.
If the client's problem is caused by these parts, then if we do not explore this part, the client's problem will not be solved.
So, we have to dare to explore this part of the content.
Find out why
At this time, we have to be aware and think about it: many times, why do children not want to say something here?
On the one hand, it may be because the child feels that we may not be able to understand him.
On the other hand, perhaps because the child thinks that we may inform the parents, the parents will do something inappropriate, thus causing him more trouble, not only does not help to solve the problem, but also gives him new problems.
3
Discuss concerns and analyze pros and cons
Next, we need to talk to the child about his worries and concerns.
For example, a counselor can say, "Look, as we said earlier, we have an obligation to protect you for this part of your suicide (or sexual assault, school violence, abuse, etc.). If you don't say it, the damage this part of you has the potential to continue.
Because you are still a minor, you do not have the strength to protect yourself in the face of this part. If I tell my parents or call the police, you may be worried, and I want to hear what your worries will be? ”
We then process the child's answers.
When we solve the child's worries, it is generally not a problem for the child to open his heart.
At the same time, we should analyze with the child the pros and cons of what he says or does not say and the possibility of various outcomes.
4
Assess the seriousness and urgency of the matter
If children are willing to talk to us, how can we tell these things to third parties such as parents and schools?
We can tell the client more about the urgency of the problem and whether to inform a third party.
For example, we can ask him, "How much do you think this part hurts you?" "If this part really hurts him, it can't be kept secret."
In addition, we have to ask:
"When did this happen?" "How many times has it happened?" "Is it happening now? Will it still exist? "Do you have the strength to protect yourself in this part?" "Will you worry about something like this happening again in the future?"
Even if the visitor is reluctant to say it, we can continue to ask.
If this happened occasionally, and it happened in the past, and it does not continue to happen now, and the visitor has the strength to protect himself, and he does not worry about these things in the future, then it can be judged that this is not an emergency.
For such an incident, we do not have to call the police, but we must fulfill the obligation to inform, we must tell the visitor's parents, let his parents deal with the matter.
Taking sexual assault as an example, because this matter is real, it is indeed a sexual harm to the client, so we need to tell the client's parents about this part.
Of course, some children may not have developed their expression skills to that level, and their understanding of sexual assault is not necessarily the same as ours, so we need to clarify this part of the content, have a more specific understanding, and evaluate it accordingly.
If we have assessed and confirmed that this part does not actually constitute sexual harassment or sexual harm, and the visitor really does not want to inform a third party, then we must respect his request or choice.
Especially when this matter does not exist now, and he is not afraid of the future, he has the ability to deal with it.
The West will actually require the consultant to break the principle of confidentiality and inform third parties.
Even some states like the law in the United States require that we inform or even call the police as soon as we know. Whether what the visitor is saying is true or not, whether there will be any misunderstanding in it, we must call the police. If we don't call the police, we will be held accountable.
Domestic requirements in this regard will be relatively different.
END