During this time, "The World of Man" was a fire, and the plot touched the hearts of countless people, especially the "stupid" child Zhou Bingkun, played by Lei Jiayin, and it was the epitome of countless children who were not appreciated and recognized by their parents, which resonated with many people.
In the plot, the excellence of the older brother and sister reflects the ordinary and humble of Zhou Bingkun, but it is such a most ordinary child, taking care of his parents, saddle before and after the horse is the most, so it has triggered a lot of articles and parents' sighs: "Sure enough, excellent children are here to collect debts, and stupid children are here to repay the favor!" ”
And in fact, does this view really hold water? So generation after generation of Chinese encourage children to struggle and struggle, and parents desperately "chicken baby", is it to cultivate a so-called "stupid" or "excellent" child to "collect debts" or "repay favors"? As a parent, the pattern is still a little bigger!
01
First of all, why do you say, "Excellent children are here to collect debts, and stupid children are here to repay favors!" Is this view problematic?
In the plot of "The World of Man", this view is also quite valid, after all, Zhou Bingkun's commitment to the family, his kindness and filial piety and his brothers and sisters' only care for themselves, form a sharp contrast, but in life, is this really the case?
Although excellent children do not saddle up around their parents, but because they have more resources in the city, parents can immediately take them to the big city to receive good medical conditions when they are sick, and parents can no longer worry about living expenses when they are old, this is not a "stupid" child, staying at home before saddle the horse can solve the problem! At the same time, a "stupid" child will not only increase the possibility of nibbling on the old, but also because of the problem of money, it is even easier to have irreconcilable contradictions with parents.
This is not to deny the filial piety of all "stupid" children, to deny the value of their existence, because most of us are this so-called "stupid" child, but blindly suppressing the value of the existence of excellent children is to deny the original intention and motivation of a family struggle, then if excellent children go far away and fly high into the world, can not take care of their parents closely is called "debt collection", parents also encourage children to study hard, what do parents do? Just let him simply not study and not be excellent?
02
In 2018, a principal spoke at a parents' meeting and brushed the screen in the circle of friends: some children are born with the qualifications to read, and some children do not. Children without qualifications are used to repay the favor, because reading is particularly good, the future will go to the United States, the United Kingdom to meet can only rely on video, reading is not qualified, the old can often accompany around, today take us to eat beef balls, tomorrow take us to eat seafood. If you observe carefully in life, you will find that the child who can take care of himself when he is old is often the child who does not have much success, but can see it all the time.
In fact, the original intention of the principal to say this is to let our parents look at the child's achievements peacefully, that is, the children with good grades have advantages, and the poor grades also have bright spots, not to let many old people sigh: I know that I can't see people all day long, so don't train him to be so good!
Is this view really not a kind of selfishness of parenthood?
Dong Mou, the father of eight children in Feng County, once said something outrageous in the face of reporters: "I don't have any pressure now!" I don't want too many more two or three, and in the future, there will be one who will get ahead, and the remaining children will not have to worry. A child earns four thousand, which is hundreds of thousands a year, and although I owe some money, I raise them for a year and pay them back! ”
The reporter asked: After that, what should the child do when he marries his daughter-in-law?
He smiled and said, "We don't have to worry about this, we should have a daughter-in-law and a daughter-in-law, we shouldn't have a daughter-in-law, no matter how much money you have, it doesn't matter!" ”
In his eyes, the child is not an independent individual at all, it is his business of "making a steady profit"! When it is time to be responsible, "we don't have to worry", "there is no pressure at all", when it comes to returns, "a few children can earn hundreds of thousands of dollars a year", he can "enjoy happiness at home!" ”
When we see that he feels heartfelt anger at raising children as a business, as a "return on investment" that can be calculated, have we ever seriously considered: the so-called concepts of "debt collection" and "repaying favors" ultimately point to children, or to themselves?
Psychologist Claire said it best: "All love in the world is for the sake of getting together, and there is only one kind of love for separation, and that is the love of parents for their children." ”
True parental love is not a permanent possession of the child, but a decent withdrawal. Since it is a decent exit in itself, why is there the statement that "good children are here to collect debts"?
03
I agree with the views of some netizens: repaying favors or collecting debts, and what does it have to do with whether they are excellent or not? As long as the three views are upright, hard work, integrity and kindness, and contribute to society, they are children who repay gratitude! The parent pattern is still a little bigger, and raising children is not to prevent aging, but to enable them to find their ideals and fight for them!
Encouraging children to be excellent, in the end they go far and fly high is no problem, because generation after generation of people are struggling for a better life, in order to explore the world, to realize their own value in the effort to live. If parents blindly ask their children to accompany themselves, without helping them to realize themselves and challenge themselves, it is also a kind of selfishness of parents.
The real question is not whether the child is good or ordinary, but whether the parents regard the child as a unique individual or a tool to achieve their own expectations; whether they really love the child and want him to lead to a better world, or whether they tie him to a smaller world for themselves.
The most important thing parents should do is to affirm the excellent child, accept the ordinary child, and help them play their own advantages in their own lives, each get what they want, and find their own pleasure.
Filial piety is a traditional virtue of the Chinese nation, based on the selfless efforts of parents to their children, which is stimulated by the natural giving of children, rather than a utilitarian investment, and then the investment "profit" after the children are morally kidnapped.
Parents who truly love their children will definitely have truly filial piety, whether they are soaring in other places or ordinary guards by your side; and parents who give birth to children as an investment, whether the children are excellent or stupid, they are doomed to not enjoy the sweetness of this family affection.
Because, since ancient times, family affection is priceless, but business can be repaid.