I have always wanted to watch "The World of Man", but because I have been busy recently, I have not had time to watch, and I have just suddenly brushed a clip, which is a scene where the character played by Lei Jiayin sits on the bed and quarrels with his father. I didn't know anything about the plot, but I was poked by this less than a minute of drama.
Lei Jiayin asked his father in a hoarse voice, "You mean that they were all brought up by a father and a mother, and I didn't show up, didn't you?" ”
The father said with a straight face: Isn't this the truth? “
Is that the truth? Is it the truth that should be said? The son questioned his father in a mournful and angry voice.
Is that what the truth is supposed to be? This is the soul torture of many parents.
Although I have not seen the plot of "The World of Man", I can feel the pain in the heart of the protagonist in this clip of the play, and the reason why film and television works can attract people and move people is because all stories come from life, and even many times, life is more cruel than TV series.
We have all experienced disgust from parents, dislike is not sensible enough, not obedient enough, study is not good enough, work is not good enough, personality is not good enough, earn enough money, daughters are disliked to marry husbands are not rich enough, boys are disliked to marry daughters-in-law is not virtuous and filial piety ... , being disliked by parents is the norm in life, and even, our chances of being disliked by our parents are much higher than others.
Many people, because they are rejected by their parents and offset the parenting grace of their parents, the most commonly heard sentence is: parents raised you
Say what's wrong with you? Don't even have the qualifications to say a few words about you?
However, many parents overlook one sentence: bad words hurt people in June cold. Especially from the dislike of those who are close to us. And this kind of disgust, often in the name of love and issued, parents of their dislike of their children is more of a parent's projection on you, they because of their own nothing, did not come out, they love you, do not want you to go their way, worry for you, constantly remind you not to repeat their life trajectory, often because of the care of chaos leads to excessive expression, do a lot of things that dislike children.
"Other people's children" is the verbal intimidation of many parents, but also a stone pressed on their own children, no matter how good you are, as long as you encounter parents who dislike you, you will always be "other people's children" and become an obstacle in life that you can never surpass.
Parents' dislike, many times the child's self-esteem and self-confidence is a devastating blow, dislike means the denial of the child, the denial from the closest relatives is tantamount to a violent electric shock to the child's spirit, the child is constantly disliked, will make the child's self-confidence built by knowledge gradually collapse, resulting in a deep sense of powerlessness, will make the child lose confidence and motivation.
Many parents mistakenly dislike children as frustration education, thinking that constantly frustrating children, but will stimulate the child's self-motivation, the child has a reverse force, do not know that this so-called frustration education only works for individual children, most children for the parents of their own depreciation have shown or can not accept the depression or rebellion of resistance, these two are not the parents in the name of love to expect the endeavor, but the child's negativity and degeneration.
Other people's children, as well as children who are better than their own in their own homes, parents take the "ironclad evidence" of their children, the same people, the same family, why are you so bad? Such language is often more lethal than punches and kicks, the former hurting the body and the latter hurting the mind.
But as the father in "On Earth" says: Isn't that the truth?
But can even the facts be told? Language is sometimes a steel knife, a sharp arrow, a gun, which can poke a hole in the heart of the person, and the wound needs to be smoothed with a lifetime.
Parents are dear ones, our emotional belonging, and our safest way out, and the dislike from parents often means that this retreat is cut off – even if this is not the intention of parents. People's self-esteem will not be different because of the size of personal achievements, often the more vulnerable people, the stronger the self-esteem, and from the parents' dislike, will sting the child's self-esteem, will make them become extremely sensitive, many times will unconsciously become a cactus, with a full body of thorns to show people, in order to protect themselves.
If parents really love their children, they should not humiliate their children with these reasons, but should be guided by snobbery, according to their children's ability to motivate children and make children better.
Even if the child really has no ability, it is not the reason for parents to humiliate and hit the child, the child's mediocrity often reflects the mediocrity of the parents, even if the parents themselves are excellent and the children have no ability to do so, it also proves the lack of parental education ability, so don't dislike the child, the child itself is disgusting with themselves.
Parents' constant dislike of their children is tantamount to constant denial of their children, which will destroy the child's self-identification, which is actually extremely stupid.
If you really love children, you need to learn to accept the mediocrity of children, even if you yourself are very good, you should re-examine your understanding of success and the meaning of life, many times, in fact, we exaggerate the meaning of success for life, and ignore our experience of happiness, too many people like to link happiness and fame, and ignore life itself, BMW carved car fragrant road is a kind of happiness, grass beans and seedlings are also a kind of happiness, chasing fame and profit is a kind of success, the leisurely self-satisfaction of the country road is also a kind of dashing ......。
Life is a process of experience, if you take fame and fortune too seriously, it is like putting a heavy shackle on yourself, so that your life can not be easy, and what is even more stupid is that many people put this shackle on their children in the name of love.
It's stupid.