Yesterday, the brother and a girl ticket to the supermarket to buy something back, encountered a man robbed, the man went up and hugged her and said: Little girl, accompany the brother to enjoy the joy. Who knew that the female ticket had a clever move, took a cucumber and put it on the ** and said: Big brother, their own people. The little brother touched it, turned and left, and scolded: Grandma's, a dead demon.
2, after marriage and wife six consecutive children to have a son, so I happily went to do the ligature surgery, the result of a few months later my wife suddenly became pregnant again, I directly divorced her, turned around with her girlfriend. After eating that night, I went back to my room to fight the king, and I was having fun, when she suddenly pushed the door and came in. She asked me: Husband, what is the stupidest thing you have ever done in your life? I thought about it for a moment and said: That must be a good brother who introduced my first love girlfriend to me. She asked curiously: Why? I replied in frustration: My first love girlfriend has a crush on my brother, and I have lost my wife and folded my soldiers!
3, if there is a sleepwalking man in the dormitory, it is a very terrible thing! When I was in school, there was a man in the fuer-dai dormitory who often sleepwalked. In the early hours of yesterday morning, the man got up and took a fruit knife and slapped each person on the head twice. Fu Er Dai was woken up by the man's slap and looked at him in horror. After five minutes, the man went to sleep in the window again. The next morning, the sleepwalking young man said to fuerdai: Last night I dreamed of stealing watermelons, turning around, and found that none of them were cooked! Fu Er Dai said with a frightened face: Fortunately, there is no cooked one!
4, the daughter-in-law is now the second child, when the first birth of Dabao almost difficult to give birth, originally planned not to have a second child, but discussed afraid of Dabao lonely. Now the second child is also born, the condition is quite OK, but now there is still a heart rate monitoring chart, 6-year-old Dabao looked at the side for a while, and asked quietly: When will the younger brother's electricity be filled?
5, just answer a phone call, open your mouth and ask: "Hey, are you at home?" The number is strange, but the tone is definitely acquaintance, I don't know who is still afraid of embarrassment, so I also pretend to be familiar with him: "Blind, I can still be at home on Friday?" Dinner, ah, from Monday to Friday, several bureaus shouted, where are you doing? The other party was silent for a while and said, "The takeaway you ordered, I'm at your door." ”
6, the father sent WeChat, "Son, the money placed in your place last time was transferred to me, I am useful." Without even thinking about it, I turned him around, and he said: That's all? Me: Dad, don't you still put some in my sister's place, and two copies together are not enough? At this time, my father sent a voice, clicked to listen, and my mother's extremely gentle voice came from inside, "Son, go home tonight, call your sister by the way, our family of four has not eaten together for a long time!" "It's over...
7, the son's school organized an extracurricular activity, need to stay outside for three days, that night there are parents in the group to leave a message to the teacher, all kinds of miss children all kinds of uneasy children all kinds of entanglements Children eat outside not good sleep is not good. And my husband and I were busy watching movies and eating hot pot games, and I felt that the days when my son was not at home were refreshing. On the last day, I left a message in the class group: Teacher, can you come back a few days later, I haven't played enough with his father.
8, Dad is a policeman, after retirement every day in the chanting: "Dad has been a policeman all his life, only two regrets, the first regret is to let a knife gangster run away; the second regret is that you did not marry you before the age of 30." "Dad, what are you talking about?" I laughed. "I'm only 29 years old this year, and today I'm going to end your regrets, and all the people are coming," I said, dragging my boyfriend out the door. When my father saw my boyfriend, he didn't say a word, and the familiar grappling hand pushed him to the ground.
9, the rich man is 20 years older than his girlfriend, the two want to get married, but the future husband SI does not agree! Two days ago, the rich man came to the door with more than 200,000 gifts. On that day, the future husband was not at home, and the rich man and the future mother-in-law had three rounds of wine, and the more they talked, the more speculative they were! The rich man couldn't help but be overjoyed, thinking that this was almost done! Then the future mother-in-law burped a wine and said to the rich man: Brother, you are really good, the wine is good, I really can't bear to let my girlfriend harm you, you wait, tomorrow I will introduce you to a better one!
10, my friend asked me to try her craft on a whim, and the two of them met at the supermarket to buy vegetables. Standing at the seafood stall, my friend asked me, "Do you like to eat cuttlefish or squid?" I was stunned for a moment. Then the friend muttered to himself, "I don't know if the scales of the cuttlefish are good." "I became a statue!"
1 When the father-in-law crossed the road, he was hit by a luxury car, was seriously injured, sent to the hospital, pushed to the rescue room on the way, a big mother-level nurse slipped under his feet, fell down without hesitation, and just pressed on the father-in-law's body. The father-in-law, who was unconscious, immediately woke up and shouted: Help, someone is rude!! At this time, all eyes were fixed on this place. The nurse at the level of a big mother said: This is the latest rescue method, you see he is not awake.
12, the girl is twenty-eight years old, life is difficult to lack of money to spend, today the Internet to recruit marriage, hope to find a rich person, age is not distance, height is not a gap, fat I also ignore, as long as there is money can be with you, no money do not contact me.
13, I introduced my unmarried and pregnant cousin to the leader, who gave me two bottles of Wuliang liquid in order to thank me, and I took it to honor the old man. When I got to the door of the old man's house, I heard my mother-in-law and him arguing. Mother-in-law: You stand for me, it's raining so much outside, you still go? Old man: Daughter-in-law, in order not to let you suffer with me all the time, even if I get the knife, I will go. I was touched at that time, I didn't expect the old man to be so good to his mother-in-law. I immediately entered the house and asked my mother-in-law: Mom, where is my father? The mother-in-law breathlessly said: Go downstairs to buy color drifting!
14, when the blind date, the man said: I am not a rich second generation, nor a local tycoon, but I have a room of money! The woman's eyes lit up: What you said is true? Man: Why did I lie to you, as long as you are willing to be with me, my room is your money. The woman nodded shyly, and then the man took out a toy log cabin: Give, it's all yours, a room full of it! Female: Roll...
![Tong Dawei, who was born in Manchu, has three children, two daughters and a young son, which can be described as a happy and happy family. His wife Guan Yue is gentle and beautiful, filial piety to her in-laws, and her two daughters are long and beautiful. Tong[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)