Last year, when it was the New Year, we all began to collect the five blessings. The daughter-in-law is happy to collect blessings tirelessly, but she is suffering from her son who is in elementary school! In addition to completing the required number of winter vacation homework every day, the son

Last year, when it was the New Year, we all began to collect the five blessings. The daughter-in-law is happy to collect blessings tirelessly, but she is suffering from her son who is in elementary school! In addition to completing the specified number of winter vacation homework every day, my son also has to write 200 lucky words! Until the daughter-in-law sweeps to the dedication of the blessing, he can not write, otherwise he will have to superimpose 50 blessing words every day... I was secretly glad that I didn't go home for the New Year, otherwise I would have been exhausted by my homework!

2, if the husband cheats, you can only learn cooking to divert your attention, every day to study the "kidney deficit recipe" and "cardiovascular and cerebrovascular disease high-risk food encyclopedia", to grasp the man's heart, you must first grab his stomach. Man can't kill, he can only try to help him eat out of the problem, believe me, as long as you are willing to work hard, there is no revenge in this world that cannot be repaid.

3. When I was in college, a male classmate in our class set up a doll kiss from a young age. It is said that the woman is 7 years older than him, and she has been reluctant to show it to us since four years of college. After graduating from college, he was going home to inherit his father's business. It turned out that only a year later, he was informed that he was getting married. On the day of the wedding, the students in our class were stunned, and the bride turned out to be our Chinese teacher! I think at the beginning, we secretly talked about the Language teacher in the classroom, and this product also said the most and the most perverted!

4, in the morning to visit the furniture market, saw a bedside stool, so the following dialogue occurred. Me: What's the use of this shoe changer? Salesman: Can be used to put clothes, but the actual use is not large, mainly for good looks. Me: This thing doesn't sell well, whose bedroom is big enough to put a bed under it and put a stool at the end of the bed? Salesman: It's okay, the people who buy furniture offline are generally rich people, and the family houses are big. Suddenly, it was felt that poverty could really limit people's imagination.

5, late at night, when the professor was asleep, the telephone rang suddenly, he was sleepy-eyed, picked up the phone, and the angry voice of the female neighbor came from the earpiece: "Please take care of your dog, don't let it bark anymore." "After saying that, the phone hung up. The professor was so angry that the next day he set the alarm clock, got up at two o'clock in the middle of the night, picked up the phone and dialed the female neighbor's house. After half a day, the other party picked up the telephone handset and asked with drowsiness and irritation: "Which one?" The professor politely told him: "Madam, yesterday I forgot to tell you that we don't have any dogs in our house!" ”

6, childhood want to eat snacks, take advantage of the family is not paying attention to steal 100 pieces, spend 20 and the remaining 80 secretly put back, eat dinner when the father said: Our family's fake money who spent, I want to reward him 100 yuan. My eyes widened in excitement: it was me and I. I was naïve enough to think he was going to reward me... As a result, a whiplash awaits!!!

7, the local tycoon boss is off work, just came out of the bathroom after taking a shower, mrs. surprised to see the back of the local tycoon boss. The wife said: "Husband, the scratches on your back..." The local tycoon boss suddenly looked nervous, and just about to speak, the wife rushed to the living room and carried the cat over. Slapped two mouths, then stared at it, and said calmly: "Remember me, and the next time, get me out of this house!" ”

8, I don't like to fight with each other, I don't like to be calculated, I don't like fake friendships. I like simple people, simple things, silly, and giggling every day. There is nothing that can't be, as long as you think it's right, it's all right, I don't object to anything you say, I've learned that it doesn't matter, time passes in the years, and memories go far in time.

9, I found that in terms of learning, we, like the gray wolf, appeared in an extremely NB posture every semester, and at the end of the semester, we exited with an SB posture that everyone expected

10, my buddy is the construction site contractor foreman just mentioned a BMW 5 Series, the youth on the construction site look very envious. The buddy seemed to perceive the young man's eyes, so he said to him: Young man, you are still young, as long as you are willing to work hard and work hard, until this time next year! The young man excitedly interrupted the contractor and asked: Can I drive such a good car this time next year?" The foreman smiled: No, no, I want to change your sister-in-law at this time tomorrow!

1 I went to dinner with my single friend and she said to me, "I envy them one-on-one, when will I have the opportunity to eat a couples package?" I comforted him and said, "Don't be discouraged, as long as you have money, like me, a person can buy a couples package." ”

12, our community has three tenors 1, Uncle Zhang, our community collects rags, as long as he shouts in his throat, the whole community can hear. 2, Uncle Ma, the doorman of our community, as long as there is a stranger visiting, he has a voice, the residents can know. 3, my dad, the first of the three tenors in our community, as long as he pulls his throat and shouts, the whole community knows that it is my mother who is committing domestic violence.

13, our community has three tenors 1, Uncle Zhang, our community collects rags, as long as he pulls his throat and shouts, everyone in the community can hear it. 2, Uncle Ma, the doorman of our community, as long as there is a stranger visiting, he has a voice, the residents can know. 3, my father, the first of the three tenors in our community, as long as he pulls his throat and shouts, the whole community knows that it is my mother who is committing domestic violence.

14. I asked my teacher why he didn't get married. Isn't it sad to be home in your forties and fifties or be alone? The teacher didn't even want to say how cool it was! Otherwise, when I come home in my forties and fifties, I have to cook and wash clothes, and I have to watch the homework of a child as old as you, then I will have to collapse! Later, the teacher got married, and he said, "Don't say it, it's really happy!"