On the plane, I saw that the flight attendant looked beautiful and wanted to tease her. At the time of the meal, I said, "Do you have tissues?" "The stewardess took a tissue from her pocket and gave it to me. I asked again, "Do you have a toothpick?" ”

On the plane, I saw that the flight attendant looked beautiful and wanted to tease her. At the time of the meal, I said, "Do you have tissues?" "The stewardess took a tissue from her pocket and gave it to me. I asked again, "Do you have a toothpick?" She took a toothpick from her other pocket. I was depressed and asked again: "Do you have disposable chopsticks?" The flight attendant handed me disposable chopsticks and said something petrified to me at the same time: "Am I like Doraemon?" ”

2, there is nothing to do at night, go to the colleague's house to play, see the colleague is cutting the nails for the wife. I smiled and said, "Yo, so loving!" The colleague smiled: "Yes, I have to cut it for her every three days." I said again, "Come, cut it for me once." The colleague pushed me and said, "I don't think badly!" I scolded him: "Why don't you cut it for me?" The colleague said, "You won't scratch my face with your hands!" ”

3, yesterday I saw the small supermarket downstairs with strawberries for sale, so I took the money to buy them. At that point, I asked the boss, "Boss, are your strawberries sweet?" The boss waved his hand and said, "Not sweet! I said, "Impossible!" I think it should be very sweet! Boss: "I knew you were a bartender!" ”

4, take the bus, next to a woman's mobile phone ringing for half a day she did not answer, noisy dead. I just wrote on my phone, "Your phone is ringing." "Show her. She saw it and said to me, "Are you dumb?" I wrote on my phone again: "No, I thought you were deaf." ”

5, once in the credit union to withdraw money at a glance to recognize the teller is my junior high school classmate, she lightly glanced at it and said that she did not know it, she was busy counting the money, making me depressed in front of everyone and forgot her name... Once again to fetch the money, only one of her tellers sat there, I just handed the card in, she suddenly stood up excitedly and pasted the glass and shouted: Are you Cai Cai? What a coincidence, I didn't expect to meet you here for so many years! I:......

6, friends said to buy fruit for me, asked me what I want to eat, I played a heart eye, said to eat the most expensive, who knows this goods are really willing, give me a durian! The people in the village could not enjoy the high-grade fruits, could not eat and were reluctant to throw away, and used plastic wrap to roll the refrigerator in three layers and three layers outside, and the refrigerator was completely wasted.

7. On Saturday, I accompanied my wife back to my mother's house and had a few drinks with my husband in the afternoon. The next morning, I woke up and rubbed my groggy head for breakfast, and found that the old man appeared in front of him with a bald head, and he was confused and embarrassed to ask. After breakfast, he secretly pulled his wife to the side and asked his wife why his father would shave his head! My wife glared at me with a grudge and said, "It's not you, you drank too much yesterday, pulled my father, had to cut his hair, how many years have you not touched the scissors yourself?" Cut my dad like a dog, and he ran to the barber shop at night and shaved his head! I was disheveled: "And this thing!" ”

8, not all the grievances can be understood, it is better to turn into tears a line, tears dry and a piece of sunshine, not all the tiredness of people can hurt, simply do not find someone to tell the pain, sweat wiped away is another growth, survived a person's time, will become stronger, wiped away the tears in the corners of the eyes, let the smile fly more.

9, just walking on the road, answered a strange phone, a woman, opened her mouth and said: "Hello! Congratulations on winning the second prize of our company 300,000! Before I could speak, she laughed and said, "I'm sorry, the first time I lied, I didn't hold back..."

10, just add work that will, the first time to accompany the leader on a business trip, the end of the work, the leader smiled at me mysteriously, "Take you to a good place, let you long and see, relax!" Just relax! Nervous, expectant, and shy, I bowed my head and followed behind the leader, in the bustling city center, to the place, a few big characters - Xinhua Bookstore

1 Last night was in a bit of a bad mood, and had a fight with my wife, who was directly angry and crying. Looking at my wife's sad and painful look, my heart was really very uncomfortable. I regret it when I think about it, but there's nothing I can do about it. Suddenly, the four-year-old daughter next to her said to her wife: Well, mom don't cry, look at your regretful look, why did you go when you got married, who made you want to marry him!

12, several dick men at the same time to a goddess to propose. The goddess said, "You each compare yourself to a vegetable, and whoever you like the most is the one you like." A man: "I am a cauliflower, and I can be a vegetable and a flower, and I am the most affordable and useful." Otoko: "I am a tomato, and I can nourish my face and beauty." C man: "I am a cucumber, the most versatile, the upper head can be used, the lower head can be used, the inside can be used, the outside can be used..."

13, I was a manager in Xiaobawang Company, and now the company is bankrupt, and I am unemployed. My wife did not want to live a poor life with me, so she divorced me and left the child to me. Now I am both a father and a mother, playing with the child in bed after dinner, and he hit me, and I lay down on the bed and pretended to die. As a result, he hit me several times in a row, and I didn't bother to move. Only to hear his son say to himself: "Why does the robot run out of power?" Why is there no electricity! ”

14 The puppy said to the kitten, "Hand over the valuable ones!" The kitten replied without fear: "If you want money, you want to die!" As soon as the words fell, the puppy pounced on it and bit the cat to death. Unexpectedly, when the cat was resurrected, the puppy was stunned and bit it to death. After the above episode was repeated eight times, the exhausted puppy angrily pointed at the kitten and said, You liar! ”