1, last night, my husband and I went to bed after taking a bath, when we slept confused, I suddenly felt that someone locked my neck, and it felt like a hug, and I was struggling to die

1, last night, my husband and I went to bed after taking a bath, when we slept confused, suddenly felt that someone locked my neck, it felt like a hug, I struggled to the death, and finally woke my husband up. My husband let go of me and said, he dreamed of fighting with thieves, I was sweating at that time, this year I can sleep and my life is in danger!?

2. The girl cries and makes trouble in the morning and does not want to go to kindergarten. Seven tricks that made me angry, I wanted to beat her. My mom saw it and stopped me. My mother said: Children are like this, you don't want to go to kindergarten when you are a child. Just lie to your kindergarten teacher that he wants to go to the toilet. Then he sat at the entrance of the kindergarten with the spittoon by the door, across the large locked iron door, and shouted every time. I asked: Shout what? My mother said: Uncle and aunt are good to take me away! I......

3. I met my husband and mother-in-law and went to the street hand in hand. I said enviously: "Mommy and Daddy, you are so kind and loving, you have been married for so many years and still hold hands on the street." The old man quietly lay down in my ear and said, "Don't tighten it, this loser lady, if you don't pay attention, you will go shopping!" "I was stunned, this is exactly the same as my wife!?"

4. After ordering takeaway in the evening, my girlfriend suddenly asked me: "Do you know what day it is?" I flashed all kinds of holidays in my mind, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you really know?" I weakly asked, "What day is it?" The girlfriend pulled out the switch game console I had wanted for a long time: "Your birthday! This is all forgotten, sent to you. I muttered, "I thought it was a big deal, it scared me to death." ”

5. I said to the boss who sold meat: I want half a pound of lean meat and half a pound of pork belly, and chop it into a cheek for me. When the boss is finished chopping, I: half a pound of fat again. The boss suddenly became very excited and scolded the vernacular that I did not understand. Oh, I'm not not giving money, how about making dumplings in several flavors? There are such unreasonable people! Helpless to the next one: Boss, do you have cartilage here?

6, the son has a fever, when passing the supermarket, he has to buy a drink, and if he does not buy it, he will cry. I patiently squatted down to persuade him: "You think about it in a different position, if you are a father, I am a son, I have a cold, but also to drink cold water, you know that drinking this thing will aggravate the cold, what should you do?" The son listened, immediately stopped crying, and after thinking about it seriously, I felt effective. Then, a sharp slap on my nose was exhaled: "Do you dare to drink it?" bastard! ”

7. The barbecue stall had a meal and spent more than 30,000 yuan. The next morning, after waking up, my stomach was uncomfortable, so I went to the hospital alone. When I got downstairs to the community, I saw a small couple making a fuss. Just when I was sick to my stomach, I just threw up. The man said, "See? Uncle saw you throw up, you still hate me? Then they stopped arguing and walked away hand in hand.

8. At night, I tutor my daughter to write her homework, and my father-in-law wears glasses and holds up high while looking at his mobile phone. Suddenly he said to his daughter, "Come here, Grandpa show you a piece of news." The daughter looked at me and then stubbornly said, "I don't look, I know." The father-in-law asked very strangely, "You haven't seen anything, how can you know?" What do you know? The daughter said slowly and logically: "Grandpa must have seen something wrong with food such as chicken and fast food, and he wouldn't let me eat it." ”

9. Work part-time as a waiter in a hot pot restaurant with your roommate on the weekend of college. A guest asked to stir the bottom of the pot with chopsticks that day. The housemate stirred and stirred, felt really fragrant, and conveniently clipped a chopstick to eat! All the guests at the table were stunned, and they all looked at their colleagues in an instant. Then I saw my roommate pretending to be noble and cold and saying: I will try it first!

10. I have been working overtime in the company for a month, and my boyfriend is very sad for me. Just called me and asked if I still work overtime today? I said yes. Then he said: Then when you come back, buy me some fruit and cigarettes, and bring back the dry cleaner clothes, and the toilet paper at home is gone... Me: Why don't you go? Boyfriend: I'm too lazy to go downstairs, I'm tired! I......

11, a female colleague of the company often borrowed me money, the first two days borrowed me 2,000 yuan, delayed in paying back, I did not want to. At the end of the day, she transferred the money to me, and another 500. I just want to transfer more money to her again, she sent a message to say: Yesterday I just divorced, rich on hand, thank you for often borrowing me money before, come to my house tonight, I make a delicious meal, let's drink some, count as thanks. I wondered why I would be rich after a divorce.

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