When a child is taking online lessons, the teacher never sees him handing in his homework and feeds the information back to his mother. His mother criticized him fiercely several times, but he could not finish it, even if it was done, he only wrote a few words hastily.
His mother had to go to work every day, so where was the time to take care of him? Later, she accepted the teacher's suggestion and installed a camera in her home.
When she went to work, she turned on her phone and looked: my son was not out, but he was not quiet. Before the online class lasted ten minutes, he began to look out the window. And after that, he did not stop, one moment to go to the toilet, one moment to pour water, one moment to eat snacks, one moment to lie in bed... The child did not play games, and online classes were also held, but he did not calm down and listen to it.
He couldn't calm down, he didn't even know what the class was, how else could he complete his homework? A child who can't even manage himself, will he still have self-control? What else can he do?
So, what are the manifestations of poor self-control? In daily life, as long as we pay a little attention, we can see that -
The class is distracted, quiet for less than a few minutes; if you want to buy something, you cry when you don't buy it for him; in public, you lose your temper and mess around at every turn; obsessed with electronic products, don't play with him, he will smash the east and west; there is no law of life, stay up late at every turn; the room is messy, and the items are thrown everywhere... If a child has three or more similar manifestations, then he is a child who has little self-control.
Why do children have poor self-control? In fact, the main reason is from parents.
Some parents never pay attention to their own image and lose their temper in front of their children at every turn. Over time, children will learn in the dark – they will not feel that their parents are doing something wrong, but they will take it for granted.
Because parents are their children's teachers, your every move will be remembered by your children! As parents, this must be kept in mind – be sure to control your emotions and not lose your temper in front of your children.
There are some parents who do not have time to manage and take care of their children because they are busy with their work. In this way, children lack the company of affection, and they will become sensitive and suspicious of external things, and they will be angry at every turn. When the child has this kind of problem, you come back to educate the child, often the whip is out of reach - once the character is cultivated, it is not something that can be corrected overnight! Therefore, no matter how busy parents are, they must also squeeze out time to discipline their children.
Of course, the most undesirable is the third type of parent. They are very fond of their children, and what the child wants to give, that is, the moon will not give him stars. The child cultivated in this way, if you fulfill his wish is fine, and once you can't meet it, then wait for his "earth-shattering" crying and entanglement. Such a child, self-control is not, you are no matter how to correct the deviation, I am afraid it is difficult to do as you want - habitual like killing, remember, remember!
So, as parents, how should we cultivate our children's self-control? The author believes that parents should do the following:
First of all, parents should be faithful in their words and consciously cultivate their children's self-control. There is a marshmallow game where parents give their children a piece of candy. Children can choose to eat it on the spot or after 15 minutes. If the child eats it on the spot, there is no reward, while if the child eats it after 15 minutes, he can enjoy another marshmallow.
This kind of play can cultivate children's self-control very well. Of course, as a parent, in this process, we must be faithful in our words. And such a game, we can also replace it with role playing to complete, and the purpose is the same, that is, to cultivate children's self-control.
Second, teach children to manage their emotions and learn to make decisions. Children are active, can not be quiet, learning is naturally not effective. At this time, parents must give him an analysis of the pros and cons and learn to face it. You can't be quiet like this, you can't listen to the teacher's lectures in class, then you can't grasp the knowledge, you can't master the knowledge, how do you have the ability to solve the problem?
Only when we let him realize the problem, can he realize the seriousness of the problem, can he calm down and accept our suggestions, and can he make up his mind to make changes. Only when the child is quiet can he listen to our teachings calmly, which is the first step to change.
Third, teach children how to change their bad habits and learn self-control. The cultivation of self-control is a gradual process, and we as parents must have enough patience. The child can't sit down, we can start from the first ten minutes of the child sitting, maintain a correct sitting posture, and listen attentively to the teacher's lectures. Every time he succeeded, he was given a round of applause of encouragement. If he can sit for an extra five minutes at a time, you can also give him some material rewards. Is the purpose of this so that he can eradicate bad habits in constantly challenging himself?
In fact, there is no upper limit to self-control, locking in goals, supervising and controlling your thoughts, emotions and actions. Self-control will develop in the process, and change will begin unconsciously.
Fourth, help your child make a list of to-do items and make your actions plannable. The child goes to the supermarket, let him make a list of his own, write down all the things he wants to buy, and tell him that when he enters the supermarket, he can only buy according to the list, not buy more, and once he violates the law, he is given a small punishment, such as cleaning, or cleaning up the kitchen.
The same is true for studying, planning how many books to read each day during the winter vacation, how much homework to complete, how much time to move, when to get up, and so on. Have your child write the plan, stick it on the wall, and perform it every day. This is the best way to train self-control – as long as the child is self-motivated!
Children are always nurtured, like saplings, both planted and pruned – have you learned how to raise a child with self-control?
Dear reader, how did you raise a child who could not be quieted down? Welcome to leave a message and discuss.
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