I don't know if you have noticed this phenomenon. Whether it's Snow White or Cinderella, fairy tales always end when princesses and princes have a grand wedding, never playing with their married life. Yes, fairy tales are used to create dreams for you, and how can you expect him to tell you how to resist the cold currents of life. However, someone really predicted the life of the two protagonists, Snow White and Cinderella, after they got married. In the end, everyone came to a conclusion, after they got married, they either staged the European version of the palace fight drama "The Biography of Zhen Huan", or became a period drama that calmed the passion of daily trivialities; accidentally fell in love with you. These three answers are not difficult to guess, but have you found them? Ideals can be achieved. The odds of dealing with this situation are only one in three. Therefore, the reason why marriage is easy to become a grave is precisely because the road to heaven is really not easy to walk. This is especially true in real life. Many fans come to me and complain that life after marriage is different from what they imagined. Some fans even said to me: The love of men is gone forever. Looking at everyone's marriage, for most people, it is actually easier to fall into trivial life after marriage.
Men are becoming less and less interested in us and more and more impatient with us. Day by day, we can see the end at a glance, and we ourselves begin to become numb to marriage. What should we do in the face of this situation? Today I will solve this problem with everyone's confusion. If you want to change the increasingly numb situation of marriage, you must first understand one effect, that is, the marginal diminishing effect. What is editing? Let me give you an example of a diminishing effect. For example, the first time you eat kimchi, you will think wow, it is so delicious, and you still want to eat it at noon and night. But if you only eat kimchi all the time, your nerves will not be excited, you will only feel very annoyed, why should you eat it? This diminishing marginal effect is the same in relationships, that is, the better you treat a person, the cheaper your contribution will appear, and the easier it is for the other party to ignore you. Let me give you an example. For example, when you fall in love with a man and your index finger doesn't touch the spring water, you won't be able to cook at all. Man's birthday, you, this is the first time I have cooked for him, even though I put too much salt in the rice and vegetables, he still eats with relish, very touched. But after five years of marriage, you have worked hard to make a table of dishes, and men may still say: these ribs are not delicious, this beef is an old stew. Oops, what's wrong with you? He probably wasn't at all. Didn't expect you to be busy from noon to night for this meal. The first cruelty in relationships is that sometimes giving and giving are not proportional to reciprocation. The more you give, the more the other person is ignored. So how can we break the marginal diminishing effect? The answer is simple, you can use the method of first suppressing and then assisting, so that your actions will always exceed men's expectations, thus breaking the diminishing margin.
5For example, what used to be done with one hand, now it takes two people to do it together, even if it is a little fire. When a man does it, he may be reluctant, but it is important to get him moving, and when he is overwhelmed, we will help him. Then gently say to the man: Now you know that housework is not easy, right? Okay, I'll do the rest, clean up the table, and prepare dinner. Could have been. Men who are frightened by the anger of the thunder saw, hearing your sudden gentle talk, the man's heart will definitely be touched, and your sudden forgiveness will make the man feel grateful. Men today are much better than the traditional straight men of the past, and they are also somewhat considerate of women. So, you have to learn to give the right pressure and then release your pressure and grab the man's heart one by one and make him run according to your rules. Of course, there are more than a few ways to break the diminishing marginal effect. If you want to learn more ways to make men obedient, we can help you solve your marriage dilemma and make you no longer hesitate for love. In addition to diminishing marginal effects, attention needs to be paid to the theory of love triangles. American psychologist Sternberg once proposed the theory of love triangle, he believes that love consists of three basic components, passion, intimacy and commitment. Passion is an explosion of hormones, and the passion of many years of marriage is mostly full of sexual tension and sexual temptation. Intimacy is a tenderness, and the warm atmosphere between the two of you determines that your intimate commitment is divided into two levels. The first layer refers to your protection of each other, such as your tacit understanding that you will not leave each other. The second level refers to your expectations for the future, such as setting your common blueprint for the future. A numb marriage means the absence of all three. When you can't build a warm atmosphere, you naturally lack competitiveness, which creates a numb atmosphere between you, which in turn hinders your confidence to continue to fulfill your commitments, so your relationship goes downhill. . If your married life is really numb, how can you reshape the love triangle between you? Different couples have different breakthroughs. My man's condition is very suitable for using passion as a breakthrough to reshape the love triangle. So Xiao Tang took the man on a trip. In the choice of destination, he avoided the city, but chose a foreign attraction with fewer people, and it was relatively safe to go hot air balloon rafting with men. Another exciting activity, watch wildebeest migration in a helicopter. Through his efforts, their husband and wife relationship was found again. The man suddenly became enthusiastic about Xiao Tang, and Xiao Tang quickly took the opportunity to reshape the two dimensions of intimacy and commitment, which was another tie to the man's heart. But my friend Xiaolan and men, their situation is not suitable for passion as a breakthrough in the relationship, so yes, I let them build. Focus on commitment and reinvent the love triangle.
Specifically, in practice, Xiaolan can increase the man's sense of expectation and plan the future life of the two with the man. Xiaolan plans to buy a house in the future, where her children go to school. Of course, Xiaolan has also made plans for the near future, such as the next to March arrangement. For example, Xiaolan said to the man: Don't you always want to go to Qingdao? In November, we take annual leave together, let's go. Xiao Lan, the man immediately agreed to come down and happily made travel plans. Or you can also say to men: you want to buy a game console, let's start saving money now, this is the reward coupon I made, every time you help me do the housework, I will stamp you, ten dollars a chapter? Actually you were going to buy a game console for a man, which is a birthday present, but when you play with a man like this and give him a commitment, it will make him feel your life. Interesting. Therefore, for different couple situations, we must adopt different strategies to solve specific problems.