1, just entered the company to work, did not expect to cut the arm of a female colleague. In order to calm the people, I gave her 500 yuan. As a result, she did not give up and whispered, "Brother, money."

1, just entered the company to work, did not expect to cut the arm of a female colleague. In order to calm the people, I gave her 500 yuan. As a result, she did not give up and whispered, "Brother, the money is less." I looked at her wound and said, "One Band-Aid can do something, 500 less?" The female colleague smiled and said: "Brother, it is not a problem of the wound, I actually want to change a new mobile phone, or we will change places, how many more times will you bump into me?" ”

2. I remember once when I was playing a game console, I was at home, playing games while playing water, and as a result, I shook my hand and fell into the water tank. That's how frugal I spent months of pocket money to buy, and I can't be flooded by water. At the critical moment, I had a stroke of genius and remembered the story of Sima Cylinder smashing light that I had learned in the book. Immediately I went to the tool room and took out a hammer, and after a few strokes, I smashed my house's water tank.

3, women must have a particular favorite to hear the words, especially the husband said. For example, when the husband says to the woman, "Go and go, buy, buy, eat and eat", the woman must be very happy. My husband says these things to me a lot, but why can't I get happy? My husband often said to me, "Go and play on the side," "Buy, buy, buy a hammer," "Eat, eat, eat Alas, people are more angry than people.

4. After graduating, I went to work in a new company and had a crush on the girl next to me for a long time, but I could never intersect with her. On this day, I met her on the road, saw her at the roadside stall to buy half a watermelon, is preparing to check out, I thought the opportunity is coming, so I rushed over and bought the other half of the watermelon. Wow, I should have eaten the same watermelon as the girl I have a crush on! "

5, the sister-in-law's boyfriend is a scumbag, driving the BMW 7 series she bought. After the sister-in-law did not have a car, she could only take the bus to work. Today in the car, the sister-in-law was squeezed into the arms of a boy. At first, the sister-in-law was not very embarrassed, but after a long time, she slowly became a habit. The sister-in-law put her head close to the boy's arms and said, "This bus has been sitting for half a month, and every time it has been squeezed into your arms, do you believe in fate?" The boy said calmly: "I don't believe in fate, I only know to rent a bus 500, more than 80 extras, 70 per person, so I only believe in money." ”

6, uncle is thrifty, like to take advantage of small. The family group often sends red envelopes, he is always a brother to grab, even if he is happy, send ten large bags, which are all one point. This is not, yesterday's cousin's birthday, the group has issued special bags, uncle robbed five of them and did not spit it out. Only to say that in the sleeping group, who snatched it is whoever grabs it, and everyone is really angry. Later, his son sent five red envelopes in a row, all of which were one point, and his uncle received them all at once: Play with me! Then his son gave out another large bag and was led by his cousin. My uncle was angry, and he quarreled with his son for a day over this, and he really laughed me to death!

7. I have always dreamed of working in a game company, and after graduation, I was directly hired, and I was next to a young beautiful girl. Because they often work together, they become good friends over time. One day I was chatting with her and praising her hands for being really white, and she smiled mysteriously and said that there were whiter ones. Just as I was messing around with the fawn, she grinned and leaked her teeth and asked me if I was very white...

8, through the introduction of friends, and a sister to make an appointment to fake boyfriend and girlfriend, very quiet sister, Chinese New Year's Eve to her home after good wine and good food to entertain me, during which her father let her brother go out for a while, said something, I want to go to the toilet, also went out! Unfortunately, I heard her father say to her brother: Call a few more people to drink, as far as your sister's female man is virtuous, it is difficult to deceive someone to come back, and when he is drunk, throw him on your sister's bed, your sister's lifelong affair will be solved! I......

9, the brother-in-law is the second generation of the rich, from childhood to receive strict requirements, know that KFC inside the junk food can not be eaten, so the brother-in-law has never been. Later, the brother-in-law made a girlfriend, but the girlfriend followed. There are more people there, the girlfriend went to find a seat for the brother-in-law to order, the brother-in-law remembered that the girlfriend said that he liked to eat Fries, and then the brother-in-law asked the waiter: "How much is a pound?" When the little uncle returned home, he said to his mother-in-law, "I will never forget the strange look in that girl's eyes!" ”

10. On the morning of the second day of the first year, I was asleep, and my daughter-in-law kicked me awake with force and said: Hurry up, my father is coming! As soon as I woke up, I skillfully hugged my clothes with my hands and feet, rolled them to the bottom of the bed, and put my shoes in by the way. The daughter-in-law said helplessly: Come out! We've both been married for three months... My dad told us to give our grandparents a New Year's greeting.

11. Majored in design at university, and after graduation, he entered a media company. During the lunch break, a colleague whispered to me: Our manager is really a big mental retardation! I nodded my head in agreement: Really, usually net nonsense, meeting net nonsense, promise net empty talk. Colleagues say he talks like he farts. I asked: Why? Colleagues said: Don't let yourself feel bad, let out others uncomfortable.

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