1. When I came home from a business trip and saw my wife sleeping with lao wang next door, I suddenly didn't get angry, and I wrestled with lao wang, and my wife saw that I hit me with lao wang, which made me heartbroken. Suddenly

1. When I came home from a business trip and saw my wife sleeping with lao wang next door, I suddenly lost my breath and wrestled with lao wang, and my wife saw that I was beaten with lao wang, which made me heartbroken. Suddenly the son kicked open the door and shouted: Daddy! I'll help you!! A warm current rushed into my heart, but before I could say yes, my son knocked me unconscious.

2. After the father-in-law retires, he has a pension of 58,000 yuan per month. He bought a bicycle worth 50,000 yuan and rode it every day to exercise. That time, the father-in-law rode to a red light, and a large truck came to an abrupt stop 3 meters in front of him. The father-in-law shouted directly to the truck driver: "Don't kill you!" The truck driver was stunned for half a day when he heard this, and he couldn't say a word. Then, he thought about it and felt that his father-in-law had robbed his own lines! "

3. The husband sells kebabs at a stall on the pedestrian street, and it is no exaggeration to say that the income of 1 million yuan is not a problem at all! That night, a couple who had just left work came to eat fried skewers. The girl took the order menu, pretended to be shy and said to the old man: Master, give my husband something to eat and make up! What to eat, you know! The old man took a look at the girl who looked so ugly, but the man was so handsome, and after 10 minutes he brought him a plate of hot roasted brain flowers.

4. Then I would go to a friend's birthday party, and unconsciously I would drink too much, that is, the kind that drank the broken pieces. The next day I got up sore, as if I had been beaten. My brother called a friend for a while: "I drank too much last night, what did you do to me?" As a result, the friend said helplessly: "You drank high last night and said that you were Ultraman, and fought with the stone lion in front of the hotel for more than half an hour." ”

5. The landlady blushed and said, "Nasty." "The next day he was fired by the boss because the boss was allergic to the smell of smoke! I remember when I was young, when I came home from school, I suddenly saw a small golden retriever on the side of the street, and it was frozen and shivering in the winter, so I decided to adopt it when I was so soft-hearted! Pick it up, put it in your arms to warm it, and then go all the way back. When I was waiting for the traffic light at a junction, I suddenly felt that someone was patting me on the back, and when I looked back at Uncle, Uncle pointed at me breathlessly and scolded: "Dare to steal my dog, I chased you three streets!" ”?

6. During the morning run, pick up a white pigeon with an injured wing, give it a little medicine and put it in the cage, ready to let it go when it is healed. At night, the neighbor's children came to play and saw the pigeons: Uncle, the pigeons are injured and pitiful, oh, it can't find its own parents and friends, it must be so sad... I was trying to praise him for his kindness, when I heard him say again: Why don't you kill it and eat it, it will have no pain at all...?

7. When I was shopping with my girlfriend just now, I called my boyfriend to ask him to pick us up. The boyfriend met us at an intersection and almost bumped into his girlfriend because he was in such a hurry. The girlfriend said angrily: You don't know how to turn a corner and go straight! The boyfriend looked embarrassed and apologized. Girlfriends do not forgive: do not let go straight, you can directly bump into it? Am I so terrible? Brake brakes so fast. I coughed and whispered, "I'm still here!"

8. Today, Xiaoqing's husband drove Xiaoqing downstairs to the unit. Xiao Qing suddenly put her face on the car window, and her facial features twisted and shouted: Help, help! Her husband very cooperatively put his hand on Xiao Qing's head and pushed it out desperately. At this moment, the security uncle of the building slammed the car door open and said: I have saved you.

 #Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #