1, the company's female colleagues borrowed 500 yuan from me to pay rent, three months have passed, female colleagues have not been repaid, hindered by colleagues, did not urge her to return. Yesterday the company held a raffle

1, the company's female colleagues borrowed 500 yuan from me to pay rent, three months have passed, female colleagues have not been repaid, hindered by colleagues, did not urge her to return. Yesterday the company held a lottery, just when my female colleague and I won the movie ticket, prepared the opportunity for the two to watch the movie to ask her for money, specially bought two buckets of popcorn for her to eat, and the result was that the female colleague fell asleep on my shoulder at the beginning of the movie.

2, that time with the cousin and the little nephew to the swimming pool, the little nephew tightly pulled me not to let go, the cousin said: "Well, you follow your mother." The little guy shook his head, "I must follow my aunt." Just as I lamented that I usually didn't kiss the little guy in vain, the little guy said and touched the flesh on my stomach and counted: "One, two, three, four, my aunt has four swimming rings, do you have it?" ”

3, my crush of the goddess computer is broken, most of the night let me go to repair. After the repair, there was no car, so she left me at home for supper. I made my favorite stewed pork trotters and hairy crabs. As I ate, I boasted, "It's exactly the flavor I like, it's delicious." After eating, the goddess asked me, "Is my boyfriend cooking good?" I was surprised: "Don't you have no boyfriend?" Don't scare me! The goddess smiled and said, "You just said it was delicious, how did you forget?" "I was suddenly messy!

4, I just bought an ice cream pattern dress, put on a beautiful and beautiful bus waiting for the stop sign, suddenly I feel good ass. It hurts, I look back, groove! A three-year-old kid was nibbling on my ass! I immediately pushed away the bear child in pain, and the bear child cried and grabbed my dress: I want to eat ice cream, I want ice cream...

5, I and my sister-in-law are pregnant at the same time, my mother-in-law bought a box of goose eggs for me and my sister-in-law to eat! We took out the goose eggs and counted them, 13 in total. Alas, the division is uneven, ah, what can be done about this? Just when I was worried, my sister-in-law said, "Let's play hide-and-seek, and whoever wins will belong to the last goose egg!" "I thought it was fine, so I put the goose eggs on the table, closed my eyes and started counting. However, when I opened my eyes, I found that my sister-in-law had run away with all the goose eggs.

6, met her, was at a dinner table, as soon as I sat down, I was fascinated by her beautiful appearance. After dinner, I asked a friend for her number. When I got home and took a shower, I lay on the bed with my phone, and just as I was hesitating to call her, the phone rang and it looked like the number I wanted to dial. I was ecstatic and trembled with my hands to answer the phone, and a pleasant voice came from the other end: Sir...

7, the first love and I are very reserved, once drunk I wanted to kiss her, she said shyly, "Kissing the mouth will be pregnant." "But I didn't hold back a direct kiss, two months later she was pregnant, in order to prove that I love her, we got married, and now the marriage is very happy, my surname is Liu, what name is better for the child!"

8, the university sleeps mostly, just went to work, every day late, almost every day to be criticized by the manager, often or the longest late to work. Today I said to the manager "Manager, I promise, I will change it tomorrow!" The next day, sure enough, I got the praise from the manager: "Yes, today you are the first one of the people who are late to arrive."

9, there is an alumnus, everyone knows that his nickname is "fly", today, I have a hot brain, ask: I have known you for so many years, I don't know what your real name is. The buddy weakly pulled out his ID card, and I looked at the writing "Shi Shangfei"...

10, today the company invited professional doctors to teach us first aid knowledge, the doctor said very well, the essentials I also remembered. Before the end, the doctor asked us, if we find a colleague around us suddenly having an emergency when we go to work, what should we do? Everyone replied that they were going to hit 120. The doctor asked and then what? I replied, find a colleague who has a mine at home to come and give him or her first aid!

11, the family has a big golden retriever, honest and honest, go out all kinds of being bullied... The four-year-old son led the dog downstairs to pee, came back with an angry face, and rushed out without saying a word, grabbing the rolling pin... After that, the heroic deeds of my bear child fighting the dogs to avenge his brother spread throughout the community...

12, quarrel with my husband, I was so angry that I cried, then my mother called over, said that my house was downstairs, asked me if I was at home, then she came up, hung up the phone I was anxious, can not let her know that we quarreled, and can not let her see that I cried! I was anxious to get a towel to put on, and my son came over with a double stick, and threw it at the corner of my eye, causing me to cry again in pain! Well, I'm not afraid of this, I'm not crying!

13, the New Year a sister lives in our house, in addition to eating is sleeping, it is estimated that farts are idle trouble... One day I called her up to sweep the floor, and I said you are too lazy to get up and move. She replied: Is it stupid to know that I am lazy and still call me?! I...

14, after getting married, the mortgage and car loan forced me to work overtime desperately to make money. This wife was about to give birth recently, so she asked the landlady for a few days off. The boss felt that the company was busy recently, so he said: "You also know that I am here a turnip and a pit, your turnip is gone, what should I do with this empty pit?" After I returned to the office, my colleague asked with concern: "Did the boss allow you to leave?" I said helplessly: "The boss said that her pit could not be empty, so he would not let me go of this turnip." "After saying that I felt weird, I looked back and saw the boss looking at me with that look!