1. I met my daughter-in-law at the bar, we both got drunk that night, and the next day when we woke up drunk, we found that we were sleeping in the same bed and married her. Last night, after she arrived home after shopping, she said happily: I sit

1. I met my daughter-in-law at the bar, and we both got drunk that night, and the next day when we woke up drunk, we found that we were sleeping in the same bed and married her. Last night, when she arrived home after shopping, she said happily: I saw a skirt under the seat when I was on the bus! Then she changed into a look, size and fit, and the skirt was beautiful. I was also very happy, and the next day I talked about it in the company and saw that everyone was looking weird. One of the girls said quietly: I bought more expensive clothes and told my family this way.

2. The door of the junior high school dormitory is the kind of wooden plank wrapped in iron, which is long and not very reliable. There are a few buddies who never push in the door, always kick. Finally one day, one day, he kicked down, and everyone was thinking about waiting for the class teacher to clean him up. Only to see this buddy calmly hold the door well, in the evening when the class teacher checked the dormitory deliberately loud noise, the old class kicked the door open as always, and then left without a word.?

3. The brother-in-law has not found a girlfriend in his 30s, and a few days ago he introduced a beautiful girl to a matchmaker and went to meet today. The two decided to come to the restaurant to eat, and just before the brother-in-law ordered, the girl preemptively said: Don't order too much meat, I only eat vegetarian. The brother-in-law had to compromise, ordered vegetarian dishes, and then turned around and looked at her in surprise, and the girl must have seen the brother-in-law's doubts, so she smiled and said: Do you want to know why? The brother-in-law smiled and said: Yes, I am just curious why you are only vegetarian and so fat?

4. The two couples do not speak in the cold war, and when they go to bed at night, the man takes a note to his daughter-in-law, which reads: "Tomorrow at 7:00 to wake me up." The next morning, the man woke up to find that it was 7:30, all kinds of anger, the wife ignored it, then the man found a note next to him, which said: "Get up at 6:50." ”

5. The female boss got married, and I happened to be in the hospital with my mother-in-law to give birth, and I didn't even drink a happy wine after the money. Today the female boss came to work, I took the candy but did not give me one, I deliberately asked: "Sweet?" The female boss spat it out and handed it to me and said, "You taste it?" "Oh I went, really not exquisite, she ate the sugar, how do I eat it?" Just when I was stunned, she smiled at me: "The whole company, you alone will take 50 yuan gift!" ”?

6. There is a young woman in the unit, who has been divorced for more than a year and looks very beautiful. In the morning I asked her to borrow a thousand dollars, and she asked me why I borrowed money? I said buy a gift for my goddess, and she smiled and said, what gift to buy, spend so much money? I was embarrassed to say, don't you women like cosmetics? I was going to buy a set of cosmetics for her. She happily transferred a thousand dollars to me. I asked her if she was free at night. She nodded happily. I said happily, then tonight you help me work overtime, I am going to propose to my goddess. She looked at me dumbfounded, nodded, and said yes. "

7. Not long after I went to work, my parents kept urging me to find someone, but I wasn't in a hurry. This year they were anxious and said I wouldn't go home for the New Year if I didn't bring a girlfriend back. Helplessly, I could only spend five thousand yuan to let the girl who worked next to me pretend to be a girlfriend. What I didn't expect was that a week had passed, and my sister didn't want to leave, and told me that it was really not okay for the two of us to have a serious relationship. I asked her what was wrong, and she said: Your family is very good to me, and they have given me so many gifts, I really don't want to return them to you...

8. Playing mahjong, I only touched a few cards and listened to the cards, I covered the cards and smiled at the other three people. At this time, the waiter of the mahjong hall came in and said, "The kitchen is on fire..." The three guys pushed the card to leave, and the waiter continued: "It has been extinguished, but the meal you ordered will be served later." ”

9. Today is a very important day, my birthday, but my husband forgot it, and I angrily quarreled with him. Then I cried and went to my girlfriend's house, and my husband followed me and begged me to go back with him. I refused, the girlfriend suddenly said: You don't want to go back, forget it, but it's only a window, let's squeeze the three of us together!!! I resolutely pulled my husband to leave, but my husband stood still!!!

10. Go to the cafeteria with your roommate to eat and see a pair of little lovers, the girl plays with the mobile phone, the little youth is feeding the girl, the girl said while eating: "Feeding is quite skilled!" The young man was very proud: "Of course, practiced!" The girl's face immediately changed dramatically, and she still had rice in her mouth and slapped the table and scolded: "Say, who did you train with?" The young man thought for a moment and whispered, "Puppy." ”

11. When my sister-in-law returned to her mother's house after her honeymoon, my wife and I also went back to dinner together. At the dinner table, I accompanied the new aunt to drink, a bottle of wine under the belly, I wish the new aunt a happy new marriage. He poured half a glass of wine: "Brother-in-law, she was a little sheep before marriage, and a wolf after marriage!" Me: "It's impossible, usually the literature is weak." He was anxious: "Where the text is weak, it is all pretended, I don't believe you will try it one day!" "Me: "What? Try it? You're welcome, you're welcome! Uh~ my family also has..."

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