1. Xiao Qiang slept until midnight, found his daughter-in-law holding his hand and pressed it around, at first he thought what to do, but later found that he was unlocking the phone, he opened a gap in the corner of his eye, and smiled darkly

1. Xiao Qiang slept until midnight, found his daughter-in-law holding his hand and pressing it around, at first he thought what to do, but later found that he was unlocking the mobile phone, he opened a gap in the corner of his eye, secretly sneered, not afraid of the daughter-in-law to unlock, afraid that she would not understand it. After the daughter-in-law opened Xiao Qiang's mobile phone, it popped up to do tomorrow's things, tomorrow, I want to love my wife well. I want to make good money, give my wife flowers... Xiao Qiang's daughter-in-law looked at it and cried, silently put down her mobile phone, covered the quilt for Xiao Qiang, and made him food in the middle of the night. Xiao Qiang felt a little guilty, so he got up to help, and as a result, her daughter-in-law was immediately angry: "You said that a big man went around the stove, went back to sleep, and let the woman do the cooking!" Roll..." Xiao Qiang heard the words, and went back to sleep. In the morning, the kitchen was clean, Xiao Qiang asked his daughter-in-law about the meal, and his daughter-in-law said that after cooking to see your sleeping incense, she couldn't bear to eat it all.

2. Dad is very stingy, yesterday accompanied the boy to the tooth inlay, the dentist said, eight thousand porcelain, two thousand ordinary, five hundred of the cottage, the father did not hesitate to choose five hundred pieces of cottage dentures for the boy, the dentist gave the boy anesthesia and was about to have his teeth in place, heard the father interrupt him: Doctor, you will wait, I want to choose another tooth for the son! The boy was touched and thought, or his father hurt him, just at this time, only to hear the father say: Doctor, you will wait, the other day the child his grandfather just lost a tooth, I went home to find it! The boy sighed: Am I biological or not?

3. When I was in college, my roommate's family was very well-off. The monthly expenditure is about fifty thousand. After graduating, she worked in a low-key Internet company, and a colleague fell in love with her. Although the roommate has money, but his behavior is very low-key, he agrees to him when he sees that the colleague is very good. Then the two of them went to eat at an ordinary hotel, about five hundred per person. After the dish came up, the colleague gently sandwiched the dish to the roommate and said: You come to Guangzhou alone as a little girl, rarely come to this kind of restaurant, right?

4. Finally, after waiting for the year-old sports meeting, he arrived for our little holiday. Yesterday and my roommate were thinking, tomorrow I will definitely see a lot of beautiful women. Although the weather is very hot, but the hot weather is the exuberance of our youth, this afternoon 5000 meters long run stuffed to very intense, then a girl next to the track shouted Li Xiaoming with a megaphone, if you run a brother I will be your girlfriend, this love touched the athletes, all the athletes on the track have stopped, the miracle happened like this, a handsome guy on the 3rd lane He began to run backwards... Ran backwards:

5. Some time ago, I accidentally got a counterfeit bill of fifty yuan and carried it in my pocket every day. One day, I was bored to go out to watch my mother play mahjong, and my mother asked me: "Do you have money?" Lend me some. I took out the fifty pieces and jokingly said, "That's all there is to it, do you want it?" My mother gave me a blank look, I smiled, and was about to take back the fake money, when a woman who was playing cards together grabbed the money and said, "Lend it to me, wait and pay you back!" I hurriedly said, "No, that money is fake, didn't you see my mother just now?" The woman said, "Don't be so stingy, and it's not that you don't pay you back!" I was anxious: "True or false!" Take a closer look! The woman interrupted me: "Even if it is fake, I will!" "Don't say it's okay, as soon as the woman directly handed it to the person who was hupai, the person didn't look at it, directly found her money, and then directly carried it in his pocket!"

6. My girlfriend is pregnant, and I have to shoulder the responsibilities of a man and marry her. Today I went to her house to propose to her, and my mother-in-law made a good table. When I was eating, I devoured it with my head down and kept eating. The old man smiled and said, "Young man, in our time, I didn't dare to eat when I went to my mother-in-law's house." If I eat more, my daughter will not marry me. ”

7. When I was in high school, I fell in love with a girl who could play the guitar and dance ballet. Of course, she wouldn't like me, and my crush on her ended when she graduated from high school. Today I rode an electric car to the bathhouse to deliver takeaways. As a result, I met her who had just come out of the shower, and I was very excited and wanted to get close to her. After thinking about it for half a day, I finally held out a sentence: You take a bath, how many men are there? "

8. Just paid a salary last month, and directly mentioned a Changan Yidong PLUS. Today I drove out slowly in a new car, and on the way I was rubbed by a three-wheeled uncle! I came down to take a look, rubbed off a large piece of paint, and I was momentarily silent! In order to make Uncle Long remember, I said: You lost me 100 yuan! Uncle also said in silence: Young man, 100 yuan can buy a bucket of paint, enough to spray you a car, you must not blackmail people!

9. The sister-in-law marries a rich man in his 70s as she wishes. The rich man was about to die, and he called his young sister-in-law to his side. The rich man said: "Before I die, I will give you my thirty million, I put them in the safe, the password is 54188!" "The rich man finished speaking and choked! The sister-in-law was very happy and hurried to the safe to get the money. As a result, after opening the safe, the sister-in-law was stunned, because there was only a note in the safe. It reads: "Don't remarry, don't remarry, don't remarry!" ”?

11. Working in Futukang, working 12 hours a day, 30 days a month, there is no time for love. Now at 30 years old, I can only go on blind dates, and last night was my 100th girl on a blind date. We talked very happily, feeling that we were going to take off the list, and left a V letter when we left, saying that we would eat together the next day. Today I took a special leave of absence, went out early in the morning, and came back in half an hour. My friend asked me: So fast, walking the dog? Me: She went to Guangzhou! Friend: It's too much, don't say hello when you leave? Me: I heard the matchmaker say that when I went back on a blind date, I packed up my things and took the high-speed train to leave overnight...

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