1. Today, I waited for the bus with my son at the bus stop, and my son was clamoring to eat ice cream. I told him not to run around, and when I came back from buying ice cream, my son was gone, and I hurried to find it. beside

1. Today, I waited for the bus with my son at the bus stop, and my son was clamoring to eat ice cream. I told him not to run around, and when I came back from buying ice cream, my son was gone, and I hurried to find it. A child next to me said to me: Uncle, is your son wearing the same yellow clothes as me? I said, "Little friend, do you see where he went?" Child: Just now the car came, my father simply picked up your son and got into the car, leaving me here.

2, the wife always feels that the husband is incompetent, quarrel and say to the husband: "Everything in the family is brought over when I get married, TV, air conditioning, washing machine, what do you say you have?" Her husband looked at the child and said, "Do you dare to say that you brought the child from home?" ”

3. Through analysis, we can see that shareholders have different degrees of panic and a certain amount of selling, which is a good thing. But the real bottom still needs to be tossed. Market sentiment needs to be slowly repaired. A child who didn't study well before. Realize the mistake and study hard, but because the foundation is not solid, the grade cannot be improved at once

4, when I was just pregnant, all kinds of adaptation. One day I said to my husband, "It's so uncomfortable, it's still so long before I was born, if I don't have to get pregnant, I don't have to give birth to myself, how good it would be to have a child as soon as I get married." I looked at my husband stunned for a while before I reacted: "No, you are, after marriage, you don't have to do anything to have a child, this is so unfair." ”

5, when pregnant to see a friend's baby just born, small, soft neck, don't say let me hold it, touch it dare not, for fear of hurting his neck. Back at home, tell your husband that what can you do after the child is born! So small, how to hold it! Worried about being broken. Now the child was born, eight pounds, and there was no neck at all. Blindly worried for so long!!!

6, living in the sister's house, the sister has a daughter six years old. In the morning we ate, she refused to eat and asked her mother to feed. I said how old are you and told my mother to feed you. She said leisurely: How old are you, and you still use the diapers of children! My sister and I sweated...

7, Da Zhuang used to like a girl, now she is a female star, when she graduated, she gave Da Zhuang a greeting card that said: You. Now da zhuang is thirty years old, and da zhuang has established a family and has children. One day at home, the girlfriend turned out this greeting card and said: Isn't this just a word for you? Da Zhuang smiled and asked: Then do you know what this means? Girlfriend: Isn't there a you in your heart? Suddenly enlightened, dark tears, at night Da Zhuang handed this greeting card to his wife and said: Honey, this word you wrote back then is really beautiful!

8, to tell a few children ghost stories, I said: "Once upon a time, there was a black forest, the black forest lived in an old monster, it every night to the village near the forest to find children to eat, if there are children do not go home at night, play everywhere, the old monster will open the blood basin mouth, eat him into the stomach ... After eating, you will spit out a bunch of white bones! At this time, a girl said, "Uncle, the old monster is a picky eater, and he doesn't eat bones... "I'll go, you're not afraid at all!!!

9, the first day of work on overtime, last night I and a beautiful female colleague in overtime. Female colleague asked: Do you have a girlfriend? I laughed and laughed to myself: I look so ugly, what girl likes me! The female colleague stopped talking and after a while shyly handed me a note. I opened it to see that it was a poem: the swan disappears and the bird disappears, and the woman does not stay after laughing. The fire is gone and reappears, forever drifting with your heart. After I saw it, I praised the female colleague, but today she ignored me, where did I offend her?

10, when I was young, as long as I caused trouble, my father would beat me. Once my father beat me: I said what is the use of you hitting, you can't be reasonable, and I will never beat him when I have a child. Now that I have children, I have found that reasoning is not necessarily useful. So I can only say one thing: true incense.

11, see a luxury car parked on the side of the road, the body is bright, the logo of the car has not been seen, just put your hands together to see if the car is more luxurious, by the scene in front of you, a beautiful young woman is feeding milk to the child. The car door opened and a man was looking at me angrily.

12. Some time ago, I went to a friend's house to tell a gem story to my child. I preached: Once upon a time, there was a black forest, and there was an old youkai living in the black forest, and every night he went to the village near the forest to find children to eat, and if there were children who did not come home at night and played around, the old youkai would open his blood basin and eat him into his stomach. After eating, you will spit out a bunch of white bones! The boy said: Auntie, the old monster is a picky eater, and it doesn't eat bones... I'm going, and you're not afraid at all!

13, the husband in the room while watching his son write homework, while nagging: "Look at you, this word is written so ugly, let me ask you, son, do you know the words you write yourself?" The bear child's head was tilted: "This is normal, well, it's as bad as cooking your own food, but you haven't eaten it all." The husband was speechless at the time, I laughed next to me, who knew that this bear child turned around and looked at me and said, "Mom, don't laugh, just like you ate a body of meat yourself, but you can't lose weight." "Now bear child, if you don't beat up against the sky?"

14, a friend committed a crime outside, squatted for three years and came out. When he got home, he happily held a grand banquet. Neighbors said of the incident, "I grew up knowing that this kid has achieved great things. See how he's accomplished now! Those who understand the situation say, "It's not a promise, it's a release." ”