1. My wife went abroad, there are only two people left in the family, my mother-in-law is 48 years old, the long charm still exists, because my father-in-law left early, so my mother-in-law has been single, mine

1. My wife went abroad, there are two people left in the family, my mother-in-law is 48 years old, the long charm is still there, because my father-in-law left early, so my mother-in-law has been single, my mother-in-law is in a company as a financial director, the ability is very outstanding, the income is also very high, so there are many bachelors who want to pursue my mother-in-law. But because my wife was not happy that her mother would find a stepfather for herself, she has always opposed her mother's remarriage. This time my wife went abroad, and many bachelors felt that there was an opportunity, and they all flocked to my house to propose to my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law was embarrassed to face such a scene, so she asked my son-in-law to come forward for her. In the end, I worked out of the shadows, selected the chairman of our company, and let him and my mother-in-law come together. Our chairman promised me that when he retired, the whole company would be taken care of by me. I'm so witty!

2. Today and a female colleague went to the hotel to open a room, after the end of the matter she went to take a shower, then her mobile phone rang, I don't think much about it directly, after the answer to react is her husband. Witty I said: "Is it your mobile phone, I have been waiting for an hour, now people love to lose mobile phones!" Then his husband weakly replied, "Oh thank you." "Give me a thumbs up for my wit."

3. After graduating from college, I entered a famous foreign company. In order to pass the internship test, I rented a house nearby for two thousand and five thousand a month. It was getting hotter and hotter, so I turned on the fan in the room. Looking at this humble fan, I was a little worried about safety. Called the landlord and asked, the landlord explained: it doesn't matter, the house is a bit old, but the fan feels that it is no problem, and the worst case is that the beam collapses...

4. The director came back from a business trip and wanted to surprise his wife.

While knocking on the door, he said, "Hello, the takeaway has arrived." ”

As a result, after knocking on the door for half a day, a young man gently opened the door, and the director was just about to get angry, looked up, and the house number was wrong!

The director smiled happily and was preparing to leave...

At this time, a familiar female voice came from the house: "Why is it so slow to take a takeaway?"

When the director looked, his face turned green..........

5. Drinking in a bar, accidentally met my ex-girlfriend, she offered me a cocktail and whispered to me: "Can I go back?" I said, "Okay, I'm not drunk!" She leaned over and asked, "I'll take you to a funny place, be naughty!" Out of curiosity, I followed me to a private room, only to see that the landlady was also there, we were all embarrassed at the time, the ex-girlfriend thought that the landlady did not like strangers to come in, and explained with a smile: "This is my boyfriend!" "The landlady heard the words, suddenly couldn't sit still, came directly to get started, grabbed my ear and went out, the ex-girlfriend saw the situation and was also anxious, came and the female boss theory, said that the two people wrestled together, I thought for a moment, decided to help the female boss beat my ex-girlfriend together, and then beat the ex-girlfriend to cry, a moment came seven or eight social people surrounded us, I was immediately scared, hit myself, while shouting: "Who dares to come over, I kill myself..." Not to mention, scared the gang away, The landlady was conquered by me, and when she went back at night, she had to be naughty with me, my mouth hurt and I didn't succeed, angry people don't you?

2. 6. Fang Zhan found a widow as a wife after returning to the world, and the two have been living a plain life! Until one night, Fang Zhan asked: Wife, this afternoon your colleague told me something, you and Lao Wang have a leg, you must explain it to me clearly? Widow: Lao Wang and I do have a leg, can you do that? Fang Zhan: Ah, there is really such a thing, I will go to Lao Wang to settle the account now! Widow: You give the old lady to roll back, and you don't. Fang Zhan: It's all made like this, you still dare to protect Lao Wang like this, I fought with you today. Widow: There is a kind of you come to fight with the old lady today, a Qingming Festival unit in the sand pig meat is not good to divide, I and Lao Wang two shared a leg, you also dare to come and mess with the old woman, go back to the old woman kneeling durian skin! Fang: ...

7. Go to dinner, because of the hurry, you want a scrambled egg with tomatoes. A few minutes before the dish came up, me: What's going on? I'm in a hurry! Waiter: I'll go to the kitchen and urge you. The waiter came back in a moment: sorry, I have to wait another 5 minutes! Me: Believe it or not I cut you! Let the chef also learn the co-ordination method and learn to save time! After a while, the waiter came over with two tomatoes: you eat the tomatoes first! Wait until the eggs are scrambled, and then send them to you! I:......

8. There is no computer at home, take the gamepad to play "Double Dragon 2" in the learning machine! Suddenly, one day the place where the game console was placed became a summer vacation homework, and I decided to dig three feet into the ground to find the game console when my parents were not at home. As a result, I didn't find it for a whole summer vacation, until I was about to start school to sort out my school bag, only to find that the game console was hidden in my bag...

9. After dinner last night, my wife and I were watching TV in the living room, and I said to her: When I live with you, I feel like I am running a company. The wife asked with great interest: What kind of company to open? I said: When I pursued it, it was a flower company, and after the shooting, I found that it was a catering company, and it was better after getting married, and now it is a housekeeping company. Wife:......

10. On a blind date today, he put the BMW car keys on the table as soon as he came, and said embarrassedly: "I'm sorry, I drove the car to maintain it, and I ended up being late." ”

I didn't have any waves in my heart: "It's okay"

He looked at me and scratched his head: "Beauty, we seem to have seen somewhere, please don't misunderstand, I am by no means close to the set, very familiar"

"I believe you, yesterday when you rented the car or I received you, I rented for a day and specially maintained it, I have a heart."