In the middle of the night, the father helped his son cover the quilt and prepared to turn off the lights, but the son suddenly trembled and said: Dad, there is someone under my bed, my father does not believe it, lie down and look, there is really one under the bed

In the middle of the night, the father helped his son cover the quilt and prepared to turn off the lights, but the son suddenly trembled and said: Dad, there is someone under my bed, my father does not believe, lie down to see, there is really a boy exactly like his son under the bed, the boy is dead tugging on his father's sleeve, and said in a trembling voice: "Daddy, there is someone in my bed, I am so afraid of ,????? In the end, the father beat the twin sons fiercely!

2, I feel that I have a cold and fever, and immediately go to the hospital to see a doctor. The doctor asked in broken Mandarin, "Do you have a reason to die, or do you have no reason to die?" Hearing this question, I instantly fell into contemplation. The value of life, the meaning of life, the concern of feelings, the unfinished wish. Thinking of this, I replied firmly: "There is no reason to die!" "The doctor listened to my answer and wrote in the medical record with a pen: There is no history of travel.

3, the younger sister is pregnant, to go to the hospital for examination. My brother was sent out by his boss on a business trip, so he called me to help him go with him. I said yes. When I arrived at the hospital, when I was waiting in line, I heard the pregnant woman in front of me ask the doctor worriedly: "Doctor, I especially like to smell the paint after I am pregnant. The doctor said: "It's okay, many pregnant women are so weird, a few days ago there was a pregnant woman who said that she especially likes to smell the smell of slippers, and even wants to eat her husband's slippers!" A black face of question marks.

4. I invited the high-ranking people who lived in seclusion between the mountains and rivers to their homes to eat tea and talk about the Tao. The tall man took a cup full of stones and asked, "Is it full?" I replied, "Full." The tall man grabbed the sand and put it in and asked, "Is it full?" I replied, "Full." The tall man poured another glass of water and asked, "Do you understand?" I said, "Got it." Gao Ren scolded angrily: "If you understand it, you don't serve food, just drink tea, are you pouring water on the rats?" ”

5, the mother-in-law has cancer, need 1 million! Ask all relatives and friends to borrow money to make up 450,000! Yesterday, the old man walked down the street in a daze and actually picked up a bank card. There is also a sentence written on the back of the glance: "Having money is willful, and the password is 594188!" The old man was ecstatic and hurried to find the nearest bank to withdraw money! The teller asked, "How much to take?" The old man had the courage to say, "50,000!" The teller took out 50,000 and handed it to the old man: "Take 50,000, sir, you still have 950,000 left in your card!" "I went, it turned out that Kari really had money, or a whole 1 million!"

6, after dinner in the evening and girlfriend out for a walk. There was a stall selling jewelry on the side of the road, and my girlfriend had a crush on a ring, thirty pieces. The girlfriend asked, "Can it be cheaper?" "The owner disagreed. Girlfriend: "I didn't bring much money for a walk, just twenty." The boss was just about to agree, and I added on the side: "I still have money." The girlfriend snapped, turned around and left, so angry that she didn't buy anything. I secretly said in my heart, hey hey, a slap of twenty pieces, it's worth it!

7. After graduating from high school, I came to the legendary special chef training school, New Oriental Chef Culinary Academy. After a year of study, I came home on a whim and wanted to show my hand. I chose the simple but most revealing of my knife skills, shredded green pepper potatoes. I took a kitchen knife and cut it very quickly, and I didn't bother to cut my finger, threw the knife away, and went to find a Band-Aid bandage. Not much later, my mother ran from the kitchen and asked me nervously: What is the cut? How much to cut off? I was touched and said: It's all right, Mom, cut off a little meat, it's good to be connected to the skin. The mother was relieved: then good, this potato shredded can be eaten with confidence!

8. After dad became the leader of the company, he went to the field once every three days. Mom was bored at home alone, so I bought her a Satsuma dog. The mother gave the dog a common name, called "bun", saying that it was a common name, easy to raise. That time, the bun sneaked out of the house when we were not paying attention, and my mother was frightened and told me to go out and look for it in the community. As I walked in the neighborhood, I shouted, "Buns!! bun!! Suddenly, the window of a building opened: "Sell buns, bring me 5 meat buns, and then a cup of soy milk!" ”

#Funny# #搞笑段子 #