If your child always talks back to you, don't suppress him or scold him.
Children who can resist and dare to resist often have more potential advantages.
Author | summer
Some time ago, Chu Yin, a professor of Renmin University Internet celebrities, said a very interesting thing on the wine table.
He told his friends why his children wrote well:
"The second eldest in our family, starting from the kindergarten middle class, as long as I pick him up, I ask him:
What happened today? Who is your favorite friend? What did the teacher tell you today?
He repeats to you the events of the day until the third grade of elementary school.
Well, this kid won't have any problems with his writing skills in the future, and he'll never write a journal.
Because in his eyes, the world is dramatic and tense. ”
"There is also a very important point, many parents say that children have to scold, I told my wife, can not scold, back to the mouth is too important for children.
Because this just illustrates three points:
1. Your child's ability to express yourself is fine.
2. Your child's logical thinking is fine.
3. Your child's argumentative essay will never be a problem later. ”
After listening to Professor Chu Yin's words, I carefully compared the familiar friends and children around me and found that:
This is true.
Those children who usually chat with their parents and like to talk back, write essays, and they are also flowing and easy to come by.
It turns out that there are so many potential advantages hidden in the children who love to talk back.
Children who love to talk back
Clearer thinking and logic
Once watched a video of a little girl teaching her father.
After the little girl made a mistake and was criticized by her father, she was very unconvinced, and began to recoil her father with an adult tone and demeanor.
She first cited the cases of parents educating their children in TV and cartoons, and then naturally introduced them to herself:
"You see how parents in cartoons educate their children.
Don't scold the child, don't hit the child, just criticize her and let her correct.
And you are there screaming, who wants to hear you, do you think I will be happy to hear this in my heart? ”
Then she began to use ancient poetry as an example to teach parents to curse in civilized language:
"I can use ancient poems to persuade others, and you won't use good sentences, famous sentences, and ancient poems to curse people?"
Under the little girl's logical and clear and well-founded response, the father not only did not become more angry, but very patiently listened to his daughter's "criticism" and had no rebuttal to her daughter's "criticism".
Remember that German child psychologists have proved through research:
"The immediate cause of argument between children and parents is the progress of their language skills and the awakening of a sense of participation.
When arguing, children will choose and use the learned vocabulary and expression methods according to their own observation and analysis of the environment, trying to express their desires and opinions in an orderly manner, which will greatly stimulate the development of children's language ability.
Moreover, through argumentation, children can learn the logical skills of arguing and debating, which is beneficial to the development of children's thinking in the future. ”
Thus:
Children love to resist, which is very good for expression ability.
Because the child must express his own views very graphically and concretely, in order to let others understand his ideas very clearly.
He must be prepared and justified to refute and persuade his parents in order to defend his rights and interests and achieve his goals.
In this process, the child's logical thinking ability and language expression ability can be greatly exercised and improved, which is also an indispensable quality for children to write a good composition.
Richer vocabulary
In The Language of Parents, it says:
The more parents talk to their children, the faster their vocabulary grows.
Talking back is the best way to detect a child's vocabulary.
In life, we often see such a picture:
Some children have been wronged by their parents to break the toy, and they are so angry that they blush, but they can't clearly prove themselves, and they will only repeat it over and over again:
"I didn't, I didn't! I've already said I didn't, how come you just don't believe it? ”
Some children need to explain a thing or explain certain situations to others, always east and west, how to say it is not clear, and finally die of others, but also cry themselves.
And some children can not only express their ideas clearly, but also use their rich language reserves to make their parents speechless.
For example, a 10-year-old boy did not want to sort out the knowledge points of the Olympic mathematics, so he complained to his father who was tutoring him:
"Li Bai has not yet become an official in his forties and fifties, and it is difficult for Shu Dao to go to Qingtian.
I'm only ten years old..."
In a word, he succinctly expressed his difficulties and grievances in learning the Olympiad.
Dad asked him: "Li Baishi is so well written, why don't you compare with him?" ”
Many people think that boys will be asked by their fathers.
Who knows, the boy immediately replied domineeringly:
"I read it so well, why doesn't he compare to me?"
Netizens applauded:
"Full score for adaptability, full score for logic, quarrels have quarreled out of culture, and this child can expect the future ..."
Comparing the two, the conclusion is obvious:
Children will not resist, can not express, words do not meet the meaning, are the manifestation of lack of vocabulary.
And children who love to talk back have a richer vocabulary and a clearer expression.
A language education expert once made this analogy:
The child's free expression is like a brand new stainless steel faucet, and once the valve is opened, the water will gush out.
On the contrary, it is an iron faucet that has rusted for a long time, the valve is condensed, and it is difficult to unscrew, because the rust and dirt are blocked, ticking water, very unpleasant.
Therefore, allowing children to resist is also an exercise for children's language skills.
Writing, in itself, is an extension of free expression.
Only by letting the child speak well can the child write well in the future.
Observe in greater detail
A father who tutored his daughter with her homework questioned her daughter in a broken tone:
"Do you have no pen or no book, why don't you study well?"
The little girl said in a surprising tone, "I don't have a good father." ”
This sharp accusation not only stunned Dad, but also made netizens shout:
Incisive! Heart-wrenching! One hit to win!
Then, the little girl analyzed the reason for her father with reason:
"Other children learn well because of the efforts and companionship of their parents.
What about you? Always half-hearted.
Other children's learning is also getting better little by little, not all at once..."
The little girl's words were reasonable, making her father irrefutable.
At the same time, people have to admire the little girl's strong observation ability to live.
Only children who observe meticulously can have such a delicate and profound understanding of life, and can accurately hit the pain points and win in one move.
Remember that the Russian novelist Chekhov also said:
"The writer must temper himself into a keen-eyed observer who never gives up—
To exercise oneself to the point where observation becomes a habit, as if it becomes a second nature. ”
Careful observation is not only a major feature of children who love to talk back, but also an important factor for children to write good compositions.
Children who can observe can have things in their writing.
Children who can't observe, it's hard to write.
For example: some children write about holiday life, do not know how to write, and begin to make up the word count;
Some children write about my brother catching ducks and write a piece of paper that says "Gah... Ga...... Gah...";
Some children write about the sun, which is always round and red;
Write about the sky, always be a blue sky.
Actor Huang Bo once said in an interview:
"Life is the only source of inexhaustible and inexhaustible literary and artistic creation."
A good essay is inseparable from meticulous observation and accurate expression of life.
Only when children learn to observe life, accumulate life, and express life freely and freely, can children write a vivid and interesting composition.
The family has a "love to talk back" baby
Parents must guide them well
Rachel Romeo, a cognitive neuroscientist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in the United States, found through research:
"Parent-child communication can enhance children's language skills and brain development.
It's important not to always speak to your child, but to talk to them, allowing them to get involved and be a contributor to the topic and respond at the same time. ”
Therefore, if there is a baby who "loves to resist", parents must not rush to "stop", but to guide it well.
A friend is a particularly wise and patient mother.
When her sons were 6 or 7 years old, they especially liked to talk back and did everything with their friends.
His friend never reprimanded him in a fit of rage, but argued with interest.
For example, a friend says that getting up in the morning to endorse a book has the best memory.
His son had to say that he had the best memory of endorsement at night.
Mother and son find paper and pencil, write down the reasons one by one to prove their point of view, and each find evidence on the Internet or in a book that can support their point of view, and then the two people hold a "small debate" to see who can convince whom.
At first, the son of a friend would be a friend because he had little knowledge and less experience in debate.
Later, as the friend's son read more and more books, more and more knowledge reserves, and thought more and more, the friend gradually said that he could not say that his son was no longer able to.
At this time, the friend's son has already exercised good eloquence and writing skills in the process of arguing with his mother and resisting.
It's a response to the old saying:
"It is better to block than to loosen, and it is better to lead than to lead."
If you want your child to have excellent eloquence and excellent writing ability, parents must allow their children to talk back and argue with their children calmly and equally.
In the debate, it will let the child develop the habit of logical thinking from an early age, exercise the child's observation ability, and constantly enrich the child's vocabulary.
Only in this way can the child speak the Tao and write and write.
Ye Shengtao said: Speaking and writing are the same thing.
Speaking is the language of oral expression.
Writing is writing that is published with a pen.
Not allowing children to resist is likely to bury their children's writing potential.
Because the process of children's mouth-ups is the process of communicating with their parents, and it is also the process of constantly broadening their language boundaries, exercising their logical thinking ability, and enriching their vocabulary.
Only by creating an environment in which children can express themselves freely can we help children learn to express and export their opinions.
Click "like it", I hope that every child can fall in love with expression and writing in a good family atmosphere.