If a person is always thinking of others and is willing to make compromises for the sake of people who care, we can say that this person is kinder. But as the old saying goes, "Sheng Mi En Dou Mi Vengeance", when a person's kindness has no sharp edge, blindly digging out his heart and lungs, he has no reservations about paying. Then basically in exchange for not gratitude, but to inch forward. Once you seek reward for your efforts, or begin to have reservations about giving. All your past efforts have been wiped out, and even more, you will say that you were willing to do it and complain about others. The diagram comes from the network
Perhaps only when your own compromises and concessions become a sharp weapon for others to make things difficult and look down on you, you will realize that even if you compromise, you must leave room in the beginning. Leaving room for doing things is not to make you not compromise, but to make your compromises measured. The truth that people's hearts are not enough for snakes to swallow elephants, everyone understands that if your compromise does not leave room, in exchange for the other party's insatiable greed.
Combined with marital feelings, we can compromise on some things for love, in order to eventually be able to be together. But this kind of compromise depends not only on the depth of your feelings, but also on the attitude of the other party and the attitude of the other parent. You have to have a prejudgment of whether these compromises will be exchanged for gratitude or for the label that you are in a hurry to marry. If it's the latter, be careful, or your compromise will be a disservice to yourself.
Yang Yun and her husband Zhao Yu are in a college romance. After Yang Yun graduated from college, he followed Zhao Yu back to his hometown, and in half a year, he completed the three major events of meeting his in-laws, talking about marriage and marriage. This marriage, Yang Yun's parents did not agree at the beginning, although the two were still relatively satisfied with Zhao Yu, a young man. However, out of the idea of being the right door and the personality of the daughter, I am not optimistic about the choice of the daughter.
After all, Zhao Yu's original family is not well-off, and there is a younger brother who is in the third year of high school. Although Yang Yun's original family is not rich and noble, it is still much better than Zhao Yu's original family. But Yang Yun insisted, and in the end, her parents could only agree. Yang Yun saw her in-laws for the first time, bought a bunch of gifts, and finally exchanged for a 1,100 yuan meeting gift. Yang Yun's parents are very dissatisfied, the two have inquired, there is a local meeting gift, and the average is indeed more than this amount.
Yang Yun was naturally not happy, but Zhao Yu said that his family was not well off, and his brother was still studying. Saying that parents are under pressure, the meeting gift is the meaning of it, let Yang Yun not mind too much. Looking at her boyfriend's sincere face, Yang Yun compromised, but there are some things, one has two. There is nothing beyond the scope of the other party's economic ability, Yang Yun chose to compromise on the amount of the meeting gift for love. Therefore, when talking about marriage, it is even more passive.
In the end, there was no bride price, no marriage room, and after a simple wedding, Yang Yun began her married life. Because she lives under the same roof as her in-laws and uncles, it is natural that there are all kinds of frictions, Yang Yun's married life is not good, and she has suffered a lot of grievances from her in-laws in marriage. It was not easy for the little uncle to graduate from college, find a job in his hometown, and bring his girlfriend to the door. Yang Yun was very happy, according to the customs here, when the little uncle got married and started a family, this big family could be separated.
She even thought of asking her in-laws to borrow some money, plus her savings in recent years, and the down payment of the loan to buy a small house, which is also a home for her family of three. I have been living in the old house with my in-laws, and it always feels like sending people under the fence. But she did not expect that this time the little uncle brought his girlfriend to the door, not only could she not get money from her in-laws, but her marriage might end.
A week before the little uncle's girlfriend came over, the in-laws began to get busy, first asking Yang Yun to clean the house together, despite the fact that she worked very hard every day. Later, he bought a variety of fruits and snacks that the other party liked, just like buying New Year goods, and moved them to the home box by box. Yang Yun's heart was not a taste, when he first saw his in-laws, he also told his in-laws long ago. As a result, when I came over, the house was a mess, not to mention fruit snacks, and even a decent meal was not prepared.
Yang Yun's mother-in-law complained and said: "My sister-in-law is so blessed, when I first came to the door, I didn't have this treatment, and I didn't eat these delicious foods." The mother-in-law looked at Yang Yun and said, "The little girl is a local, the first time she came, we didn't entertain well, and when the time came, it was us who were humiliated." If you want to eat it, you can buy you a little bit later. Yang Yun was silent, did the mother-in-law mean to bully her as a foreigner?
And the mother-in-law does this every time, and everything is said that she will do it later. At the beginning, there was no bride price, and the mother-in-law cried that the family had a large expenditure and no savings, and would make up for it later. The wedding was too simple, and the mother-in-law said that she would compensate for some jewelry separately in the future. In short, everything was said later, but never done. After several years of marriage, it is more Yang Yun's dedication to this family, paying for it, but the mother-in-law seems to be accustomed to it and feels that it should be taken for granted.
Yang Yun tried to suppress the sourness in his heart, not wanting to make an unpleasant scene in the days when his uncle's girlfriend came to the door. But soon, she was completely overwhelmed. Not long after lunch that day, everyone was waiting for the little uncle to bring his girlfriend to the door, and when Yang Yun washed the dishes and chopsticks and came out of the kitchen and passed through the in-laws' bedroom, she heard the in-laws talk about the meeting gift. Originally, the in-laws gave their younger son and girlfriend how many gifts they gave, which had nothing to do with her sister-in-law, but the unhappiness of the previous few days and her original amount made her stop and began to eavesdrop.
When she heard her mother-in-law say that it had been wrapped up and the amount was 11,000 yuan, Yang Yun really couldn't calm down. Not to mention that the mother-in-law also said to the father-in-law that the wedding celebration should be found well, and the wedding room should also be bought early. The father-in-law also said: "If we don't have enough money, let the eldest son pay a little, and the two of them will definitely not save less money in recent years." As soon as the father-in-law's words came out, Yang Yun was completely angry, and she directly pushed the door in and asked the in-laws what they meant.
Regarding the meeting gift, the mother-in-law explained that the current market is this amount, and the family is not without it, if you do not give this amount, the girl will be unhappy. Yang Yun smiled and said that when he first came to the door, the local market was more than 1,100 yuan, and the family was not unable to take out more, but in the end he only took so much, did he think I was not matched?
The mother-in-law did not comment, indicating that Yang Yun was willing to do it herself, and if she insisted on more, she would also make up for it. The father-in-law even said that in recent years, his two old sons have not asked Yang Yun's two sons to live a living expenses, so now in order to buy a house for the younger son, ask the eldest son to ask for money, it is regarded as living expenses, such behavior is not excessive. Yang Yun was simply too aggrieved, and it was a fact that she had not given living expenses since she entered the door. But the problem is that most of the monthly expenses of the family are borne by themselves and their husbands.
Coupled with local customs, before parents and children are separated, especially when parents still have labor and are still making money, children of ordinary families do not pay living expenses. After all, the children have just married and started a family, and there is also pressure. But Yang Yun's statement did not let the in-laws approve, the two instead accused Yang Yun of having nothing to do, saying that so many years have come this way, today's young son and girlfriend came to the door, Yang Yun held these past events, is deliberately looking for stubble.
In this way, Yang Yun and her in-laws quarreled, and after the little uncle returned with his girlfriend, he saw this scene and left without dinner. The mother-in-law threw the dissatisfaction of the younger son to Yang Yun, saying that if the younger son's marriage was yellow, she would let the eldest son divorce Yang Yun. In the face of her husband's silence, Yang Yun's heart is like ashes, she knows that today's farce, she may indeed be responsible for part of the responsibility. But the main reason is that the in-laws have been catching her alone and bullying, obviously favoring one over the other, so that the dissatisfaction that has accumulated in her heart has exploded? Divorce is divorce, Yang Yun feels that this kind of day, she has had enough.
Yang Yun was indeed wrong, she was wrong in the days of telling grievances, and she was wrong from the beginning. Compromise and concession, if there is no bottom line, is not good, but an "evil" one. Whether in love or marriage, we can compromise for the sake of feelings, but we cannot compromise for the sake of feelings without a bottom line. Especially if the other party obviously has this ability, it is obvious that it is only a temptation, and you are still compromising for your feelings, then you will only get inches in exchange.
Compromise for love is a form of sincerity, and innate kindness and sincerity is not your fault. But you have been compromising without a bottom line, and it is stupid to allow others to make an inch on you. Not everyone will be grateful in the face of other people's compromises, and every compromise you make is connivance and a pusher for wronging yourself. Just like Yang Yun in the text, if she is faced with the temptation of the in-laws at the beginning, she can make a reasonable statement, rather than blindly compromising, and in the end, she will not be completely ignored by the in-laws' family to pay and compromise.
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Do you think that Yang Yun's meeting gift when he learned that the little uncle's girlfriend was ten times that of his original, and then broke out and quarreled with his in-laws, is it that there is nothing to do? Please leave your opinions.