1. A flight attendant I know is 26 years old and has been divorced twice. Curious, I asked her, "You're so pretty and in such good shape, why do you always get divorced?" She sighed

1. A flight attendant I know is 26 years old and has been divorced twice. Curious, I asked her, "You're so pretty and in such good shape, why do you always get divorced?" She sighed and replied, "Because of domestic violence." After listening to it, I said very sympathetically: "You are really unlucky, how can you always encounter this kind of scum." The flight attendant said with some embarrassment: "I am angry and start to beat people." ”

2. Our female boss is a scumbag who has been divorced three times, and this time she has found a husband who is 10 years younger than herself, and many people have sent gifts and blessings. I wanted to take this opportunity to express myself, so I asked my buddies what to send. After the buddy figured out the situation, he asked me to send a whole bouquet of pear blossoms, saying that the pear blossoms represent pure love and love that will not be separated for a lifetime. So I bought a bunch, carefully packaged it and sent it over, but I didn't expect that the leader's face was very bad at that time. As a result, within a few days, I was fired by my female boss for not being active in my work.

3. My husband used to be my dad's subordinate, and because my dad owed him three months' salary, he promised me to him. And the husband married a year after getting pregnant, in the middle of pregnancy, the small belly has risen, many people say let the husband talk to the baby at night, good for the child, is also a kind of prenatal education! I told my husband, he looked at me, "Oh" and rolled over and lay on his side, asking him what was wrong? Just listen to him say: Lao Tzu, because he has become a monk, still let me talk to him about the heavens, do you see anyone talking to the enemy about the heavens? I......

4. Buddy is an actor, and once when buddy came back from a performance, he said to me, "The response to this performance is good, and when I perform in the open air square, the applause from the audience is endless." I joked with him, "It won't work so well next week." The actor asked, "Why??? The man replied, "The weather forecast says it will cool down next week, so there will be far fewer mosquitoes." ”

5. The ultimate method of earning money: Go to the place where young people are dating during the day, put your arms around the girl's guy and say, "Brother, how about I slap you and give you 100 yuan?" "For every 10 people who try, 6 people will say that you are neurotic, 1 person will accept, and 3 people will say: "I give you 100 yuan to slap you can not?" At this time, you promised, a conservative estimate of you in one day 10 slaps, earn 1,000 yuan, 30,000 yuan per month, and earn nearly 400,000 !?? #Funny Scene of the Year#"

6. There is a person in the village who works at Microsoft, and the company for two years becomes the down payment in the village. So the man spent more than half a million yuan to buy a purebred Tibetan mastiff. This Tibetan mastiff is very fierce, and countless people in our village have been bitten and have been vaccinated against rabies. On this day, I passed by his door and was bitten by a Tibetan mastiff. Since I was relatively rigid, I immediately bit into each other. Suddenly, a burst of words came from the ear: This child has become ill and has not been saved when he is sent to the hospital.

7. In the evening, my wife and I went shopping at RT-Mart and bought a bag of mangosteen. After coming out, my wife took the bag containing the mangosteen and said to me: You should hold this bag. Me: I have so many things in my hand, you don't take anything, do you mean it? Daughter-in-law: How sorry, I still hold you, you are more than 100 pounds, I take something much heavier than you.

8. Squatting on the toilet while eating bananas in the bathroom, suddenly my wife urinated urgently and told me to hurry up!!! Anxious for me to bite off the banana, a careless foot slipped, fell on the toilet, the pain I covered my abdomen "ah" a big sound, the wife hurriedly lied to push the door in, the face was frightened, I endured the pain mixed with the touch, tears could not help but swirl in the eyes, the wife looked at me and scolded and grinned: "Wrongdoer, hurry up, let me see if the toilet I spent more than 2,000 just changed has been smashed by you!!! "I:" ........."

9. The courier brother called me to go to the west gate of the community, the east door was sealed, and I had not gone downstairs for more than a month. Although it is a few minutes back and forth, it is still a bit of a surname! When I went out, the doorman ignored me when he checked the car, and when he came back, the uncle called me to take my temperature. I watched the TV all facing the door of the head, so I pulled up my hair, and the uncle slapped me on the door of the head. Usually very familiar with the uncle, to laugh to death! Uncle said, "Give me my hands and neck!" ”

10. The first time I went to my boyfriend's house, his mother happened to be away from home, so I offered to cook for my boyfriend and his father! At noon that day, I burned the thick cake on a whim, I don't know if the noodles were not hairy or the fire was too big, the cake was too hard, and the knife could not be cut! To alleviate my embarrassment, my uncle took a saw from the warehouse and sawed the cake open, and my boyfriend and uncle nibbled on the thick cake for two hours before they finished the pot of thick cake! Uncle also praised me, saying: Xiaomei, your craftsmanship is really good, this cake is crispy and crispy, delicious!?

11. At one o'clock in the morning, I was lying in bed tossing and turning, thinking about it and falling asleep. I was sleeping soundly, and the little uncle suddenly rushed into my room and kicked me up! I woke up from my slumber and asked, "What happened?" finish? Just listen to the little uncle calmly say: "You sleep and snore like a big boss, and you think there are men in the house?"

 #Funny Moment#Funny Paragraph# #搞笑幽默趣闻 #