1. When a prisoner is about to be executed, the executioner suddenly runs up to the prisoner and whispers, "Brother, can I ask you something?" The prisoner said, "What's the matter, you want me to give it to you."

1. When a prisoner is about to be executed, the executioner suddenly runs up to the prisoner and whispers, "Brother, can I ask you something?" The prisoner said, "What's the matter, do you want me to give a word to your dead relative?" Policeman: "No, no, no, your brother before me has already done this for me!" This time it was like this, I forgot to wear contact lenses, and when the gun is fired, please aim your head at the muzzle of the gun! ”。。。。 (The story takes place abroad) ?

2. On weekends, my friends and I go fishing. Me: I sprinkle a handful of rice every time. The second dog smiled and said: Willing to go to the wolf, a handful of rice is too stingy. The second dog then said: I am sprinkled until the fish is dead and then caught. I laughed: Hahaha! Two Dogs: What's wrong, what capital do you have to joke about us? The second dog also said: The place where we are standing was originally a very large reservoir, but I sprinkled materials to fill in the nest. I:......

3. A few days ago, I went shopping with my sister-in-law, and my sister-in-law saw a coat in a clothing store. Tried it on for a while, and it looked good. The salesman praised the sister-in-law vigorously: Beauty, you are beautiful, you are in good shape, and you have a unique temperament in wearing this dress. The sister-in-law's personality is more introverted, and she is praised by the salesman and her face is red. Then shyly said: Don't call me beautiful, please call me goddess!

4. Cousin graduated from high school, became a bather, new year I went back to my hometown, to my aunt to visit the New Year, cousin told me a joke, before the Spring Festival, a rich woman came to scrub a bath, cousin found that the rich woman tattooed a butt fly, she asked: I see that their tattoos are tattooed flowers, or beautiful things, why did you tattoo a butt fly? The rich woman said dismissively: Do you know why I am so rich? Just by this tattoo, "must win"! You tap and rub it, don't rub it for me... "

5. The mother-in-law asked the matchmaker to introduce him to his girlfriend, the two met at Starbucks, the sister-in-law saw that the brother-in-law was dressed in ordinary clothes, a little looked down on him, and asked him about his income and real estate. The brother-in-law said to her a little upset: "I started my own business, made imported materials, and the business spread all over the country." The sister-in-law quickly begged her brother-in-law to forgive her disrespect, and then asked the brother-in-law what kind of business he did and how the benefits were. The brother-in-law smiled and said to her, "I am selling melon seeds on Taobao, and I have sold more than ten catties so far." ”

6. I called a ride-hailing car and walked halfway to the ride-hailing driver to let me get out of the car. He also handed me 10 dollars and said, "Beauty, you can find another car." I said, "Why?" You don't do business anymore? The driver pointed to a woman in front of her and whispered, "That person is my girlfriend, you are better than her, your face is prettier than her, let her see me carrying a beautiful woman in front of her, I am afraid that she will misunderstand, you will find another car!" ”

7. When I lived in the countryside before, there was a mentally handicapped teenager in the village. He doesn't play with our friends who are about the same age, he plays with children who are five or six years old. I didn't understand him very well until one day I saw him sitting on a broken couch in a remote location with a little Lolita in his arms. And when Xiao Zhengtai knelt down in the front row and prostrated his head and shouted long live the emperor, I knew how much he enjoyed life.

8. The rich man and the female secretary play a big adventure in the KTV, and the rich man picks up the secretary's mobile phone. Pretending to call her parents, she said, "Your daughter is in my hands, give me 100,000 immediately, and I will let her go!" Her mother's voice on the other end of the phone was a little flustered: "Boy, you wait a minute, I'll discuss it with her father!" A minute later, her parents called back, only to hear her mother say: "Boy, listen to your voice is very good, people are not ugly, my daughter you don't want to let go, I and her father give you another 200,000, call you immediately, we make up so much, do you think it is feasible?" Regal: "...."?

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