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My mother raised a bully son for 20 years, and finally was forced to become a depressed patient, and I realized it after reading it

My mother raised a bully son for 20 years, and finally was forced to become a depressed patient, and I realized it after reading it

My mother raised a bully son for 20 years, and finally was forced to become a depressed patient, and I realized it after reading it

Educating children is a matter of method and skill

If parents want their children's future to be more colorful, they must not raise children in the "fish tank"

- Caption

The night before, I had put the child to sleep and was preparing to clean up and read a book

Unexpectedly, my cousin sent a video request

As soon as I answered, there was a depressed face across me, and I didn't wait to speak

My cousin said

My mother raised a bully son for 20 years, and finally was forced to become a depressed patient, and I realized it after reading it

"Sister, I'm depressed, I feel so bad, I'm really not a good mother"

My cousin is usually very confident and strong, so I am a little worried about this

So I quickly asked her what was wrong

As a result, she told me that recently her son knife has been very disgusted with going to school, and she initially thought that her son was adolescence

So after a few simple criticisms, he didn't care about him anymore

Unexpectedly, that day, his son cut his wrist with a knife and told her that he did not want to live

As a result, the next day I went to the pediatric psychiatric department of the hospital to see her, and the doctor told her directly

"The child is moderately depressed"

My mother raised a bully son for 20 years, and finally was forced to become a depressed patient, and I realized it after reading it

Indeed, there are more and more cases of adolescent depression in modern society

The famous psychologist Chen Mo even asserted that in the future society, parents are likely to be the first words to meet

"Is your child depressed?"

According to its 30 years of clinical psychological experiments, it was also found

Among depressed adolescents, there are often more children who are both good at character and learning

So, why is it that the more excellent children are, the more likely they are to get depression? How should parents respond?

Today I will share two stories with you, and I hope to inspire you

My mother raised a bully son for 20 years, and finally was forced to become a depressed patient, and I realized it after reading it

01

The first story

The son who has worked hard to cultivate for many years has finally become a depressed person

Nannan's parents can be said to be puzzled

They couldn't figure out why their son was suffering from depression.

For her parents, Nannan has been good at both learning and learning since she was a child

It is the "other people's child" that everyone praises, and the proper university bully

Not only do they have good academic performance, but they have also participated in many provincial and municipal campus competitions and won numerous awards

In addition, as the class leader, he has a very good relationship with his classmates

My mother raised a bully son for 20 years, and finally was forced to become a depressed patient, and I realized it after reading it

But it was such a child

However, when he lost a competition, because the program he had been rehearsing for a long time was not selected, he suddenly became emotionally broken

After returning home, he locked himself in the bathroom, shouted and screamed, and even self-harmed behavior

A small blow that made it so difficult for the child to accept

Nannan's parents can be said to be frightened, so the next day, they took the child to the doctor

Unexpectedly, after some testing, the psychologist directly informed them

The child suffers from depression

Faced with this result, the husband and wife froze for a while

My mother raised a bully son for 20 years, and finally was forced to become a depressed patient, and I realized it after reading it

They couldn't believe that such a good and independent child could get this disease

And with the deepening of the treatment, they found that everything had already been forgotten

And they're the culprits

Nannan's mother is a very competitive woman, after having a son

She also always wants her children to be her pride

Therefore, from childhood to adulthood, nannan is very strictly controlled

What to eat, what to wear, what hairstyle to cut, you have to do it according to your mother's ideas

Even when writing homework at home, her mother will not let Nannan close the door, and she must always stare at him

My mother raised a bully son for 20 years, and finally was forced to become a depressed patient, and I realized it after reading it

What's even more excessive is that even if he makes friends, his mother has to intervene

Many times, he deleted his friends from his phone

It was because she thought the child was bad

This kind of control and discipline of her mother made Nannan feel suffocated the more she grew up

But as long as he resisted a little, his mother would say

"I'm not here for your own good"

Seeing that the resistance was ineffective, Nannan became more and more closed to himself, and over time, his depression became more and more serious

My mother raised a bully son for 20 years, and finally was forced to become a depressed patient, and I realized it after reading it

02

The second story

The protagonist of this story is a girl named Xiaoyi

XiaoYi's family is ordinary, and her parents' culture is not high

Because of this, they are very tight to their daughter's education, and they pin all their hopes on their daughters

In elementary school, in order to exercise her English listening

Even though she was tired enough to cry and doze off, her parents would still hold her and let her continue

She did not do well in math, but her mother reported her to the Olympiad of the extraordinary class

She couldn't learn, and her mother called her stupid

In the last year of primary school, he enrolled her in five training classes in one go

My mother raised a bully son for 20 years, and finally was forced to become a depressed patient, and I realized it after reading it

But 24 hours a day, she didn't have any rest

After waiting for junior high and high school, many interest class tutoring classes were gone, but her parents had more strict control over her

Every day, just doing exercises can do one o'clock in the morning

Under this kind of education method of her parents, Xiaoyi is also among the best since she was a child

But mom and dad only want her to be first, and as long as she falls, her parents will scold her for garbage

In this way, the child became more and more unhappy

Even as early as the second year of junior high school, suicidal thoughts occurred

For years, she had been using self-harm to vent her depression until her parents noticed it all

My mother raised a bully son for 20 years, and finally was forced to become a depressed patient, and I realized it after reading it

Xiao Yi is already severely depressed

03

Raising children in the "fish tank" is the worst education for children

Looking at the depressed experiences of the two academics, it is not difficult for us to draw such a conclusion

Behind the problem of children is the problem of parents' education methods

Parents who like to control their children often backfire on their children

I believe everyone has heard of the "fish tank effect"

The so-called fish tank effect refers to the three-inch long tropical goldfish raised in a tight fish tank

My mother raised a bully son for 20 years, and finally was forced to become a depressed patient, and I realized it after reading it

No matter how much you take care of it, how much fish food you feed

Eventually, it won't grow up, and when the tank breaks down and the goldfish are raised in the pool, even if you don't take care of it so carefully, the fish will grow up quickly

In fact, raising children is the same as raising goldfish

If you only know how to bind the child, control and suppress the child

Then the child will definitely not grow up, and will even be "raised" because of suffocation.

Instead, if you are able to give the child enough space and the right to make their own choices

Then the child will grow faster, better, and healthier

My mother raised a bully son for 20 years, and finally was forced to become a depressed patient, and I realized it after reading it

I know that there is such a problem on the Internet

"What is it like to be completely controlled by your parents?"

One of the highest praises replied

"For nineteen years, I have always felt that I am a "puppet" of my parents, a "vassal" of their lives, I have never lived for myself, and I do not know what the self is, maybe at the beginning I resisted, but after a long time, it does not matter, but I am still very painful, and even more and more feel that it is not interesting to live, often want to commit suicide, more want to know if they are dead, will they regret a little"

Nineteen years old, it is the time of youth

But the child was filled with despair

People have to sigh that the control of parents is really the biggest disaster for children

My mother raised a bully son for 20 years, and finally was forced to become a depressed patient, and I realized it after reading it

Psychologist Bai Yanyi believes that the endless control of parents is actually a kind of "violence"

This kind of violence is usually done in the name of love, but in fact it does things that hurt the child

As parents, we must not raise children in fish tanks

Don't let your love become a big knife to swing at your child!

04

Learn to let go and be a child's "smasher"

The meaning of this sentence is that educating children is a long-distance running race

As a parent, don't just look at the scores and grades of the moment, and don't confine your children to the "fish tank" that is forced to be imprisoned

Use your vision and insight

Help children open their horizons in life and guide them to pursue a broader world

Learning to let go is the best love and education for parents for their children

My mother raised a bully son for 20 years, and finally was forced to become a depressed patient, and I realized it after reading it

A young sister after the 90s, since she was a child, she has studied classical music under the arrangement of her mother

Practicing guzheng performance, but the more the mother disciplined, the more painful the little sister became

In the face of the child's resistance, the mother did not give in, and even used force many times in order to make the little sister submit

Either pour coffee on the guzheng or pick up a kitchen knife and cut the piano board

As a result, the mother's actions also provoked the child's rebellion, and the two once made a very ugly quarrel, and neither of them let the other

Seeing her daughter's education like this, this mother probably suddenly figured it out

Since then, he has let go of the little sister, and has never interfered in the child's learning, but has chosen to study on his own

In this way, the mother and daughter gradually resumed their relationship

Without the control of her mother, the little sister gradually found the real interest, and after graduating from high school, she reported to the Academy of Fine Arts

Unfortunately, however, she did not pass

My mother raised a bully son for 20 years, and finally was forced to become a depressed patient, and I realized it after reading it

After that, she fell in love with "ceramics" again, year after year, no matter what she chose, her mother just silently encouraged her and supported her

In the end, the younger sister became a pottery teacher. He worked at the Jingcai Porcelain Museum in the "First Kiln of Beijing"

The whole person is very confident and optimistic, and has an opinion

Parents with real emotional intelligence should understand this truth

Fish in the fish tank, they are trapped in shallow water; if they are released into the ocean, the deep sea is not afraid.

As a parent, you must stand tall, see far, and plan for your child's future

At the same time, we must also know how to let go in a timely manner and be the "smasher" of the child.

Let them bravely ride the wind and waves towards their own ocean world!

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