As a parent, what I envy most is the children who have the potential to be a bully. I think a child who can become a school bully must have a high IQ. Parents without this kind of brain naturally cannot expect their children to be school bullies.
But is there an inevitable relationship between academic bullying and IQ?
Professor Bryant at Harvard Business School gave a different answer!
He gave an example of learning to swim.
He said how regular schools teach students to swim. Is it on the shore, or the teacher and the child go into the water together!
How does Harvard Teach Students to Swim? Throw students directly into the water and let them learn on their own.
Surveys show that all the students who can enter Harvard do have similarities, that is, their learning ability is not ordinary, not IQ.
He believes that learning is not learning, only learning ability can improve their efficiency and master their own learning stage. How to determine whether a child is capable of learning?
The study found that children have these 3 characteristics, most of them are potential bullies, even if they are greedy, it does not matter
First, there is intrinsic motivation
Intrinsic drive is the source of motivation for a person to achieve his goals. It is also the internal motivation we often say, which is also the difference between scum and bully.
Some children are forced to learn by their parents, schools, and grades.
But to learn is to take the initiative to learn for one's own goals. Different in nature. You push a person forward, a person wants to take the initiative, it's not the same.
How to cultivate the internal motivation of ordinary children? American psychologists Desi and Ryan have proposed a theory: children have two psychological needs: belonging and autonomy, and meeting these two needs can stimulate children's internal motivation. If the child lacks internal drive, be sure to pay attention to homework and urge to get up. Do you feel that you have destroyed these two psychological needs of your child?
The so-called sense of belonging is that children feel accepted, recognized, and tolerated by their parents. But if parents often use language like "I'm ashamed of your performance," it can ruin the sense of belonging in the family!
Some parents are stubborn and like to help their children make decisions, so the children grow into puppets. You say one thing, let the child do it, and the child's sense of autonomy will disappear. Kids always love to do what they can. Parents must remember to meet these two psychological needs in the process of educating their children.
Second, relatively high concentration
Good learning ability is inseparable from concentration. Since ancient times, scientists have been dedicated masters. From Newton to Einstein to Marie Curie, there are countless stories about them. So, if you want your child to be a powerful person, then focus is the foundation.
So, why can the student bully concentrate on listening to the 45-minute lesson, and the scum just can't sit still?
Parents should reflect on whether the child has this behavior, and whether the child is often interrupted when playing. Do children live in noisy environments? Do parents like to hand over their kids to TVs and cell phones? These are all factors that undermine concentration.
Third, I like to read
Some adults will be sleepy when reading, how should they talk about learning? But the school bully is different. Xueba has loved to read since he was a child, and this habit has accompanied him all his life.
So as a parent, should we reflect on whether there are books at home? Does your child have a habit of reading? Have you ever bought a bunch of books and urged your children to read them every day? No, you and your kids are watching TV on your phone?
In order for children to enjoy reading, parents must realize that perseverance is the most important thing! The collection of books at home is the foundation, so that children can read when they are bored. Secondly, when the child is 4-6 years old, parent-child reading must not be less! Because this stage is a sensitive period for children to read. At this stage, they will develop the habit of reading, and parents must participate in it if their children want to develop the habit of reading.
For picture books that parents and children read, I recommend choosing fairy tales, educational stories, and stories that guide children's good behavior. For example, "Children's Emotional Management and Character Development" has 10 picture books that teach children to learn good qualities from different perspectives.
It does not cost a lot of money to prepare some picture books for children, but it can help children learn a lot of knowledge and life principles, and it is more helpful to cultivate children's good qualities. At the same time, reading can also activate brain cells, making children's thinking more flexible and smarter!
The 16-page illustration captures the child's attention, and the child will not throw it away when he sees half of it. The book is bilingual in English and also inspires children's English thinking.
This set of books is not only a good book for parents and 4-6-year-old children to read together, but also the stories in it are committed to stimulating children's sense of independence, guiding children to do things without delay, listening carefully to lectures in class, completing homework on time, and not giving up when encountering difficulties. It is very helpful in stimulating your child's internal drive.