When watching "Love Is Deep and Rainy", I especially disliked one role, that is, Fu Wenpei, the mother of the heroine Lu Yiping.
Fu Wenpei was young and beautiful, gentle in personality, a rich lady, well educated, and Wang Xueqin could not compare with her. However, she actually fell to the point where she was ostracized by Wang Xueqin and had to take her daughter Lu Yiping out of the Lu family.
Fu Wenpei is really not a good mother, she is cowardly and incompetent, not only can not protect her daughter Lu Yiping, can not give her daughter a stable and happy life, let her daughter live a poor life, but also need her own daughter to protect her. The reason why Lu Yiping is stubborn and stubborn, like a little leopard, is because only in this way can she protect her mother and prevent herself and her mother from being swallowed by the bones of the evil person.
In fact, women should not wait until they are mothers to become "rigid", you must be "rigid" for yourself.
There is a line in "Yanxi Raiders": "If you blindly tolerate it, it will only make others think that you are cowardly." If you are too kind, others will take advantage of your weakness and gain inches. ”
"The man who does something to you must not be accustomed, the more you are afraid of his fist, the more addictive he will hit you, only because he has caught your weakness and thinks that doing so will make you obedient and satisfy his interests." 」 To prove her point, Yuan Juan told me about her parents' marriage.
01. After 3 years of marriage, how many times I beat my wife, I can't remember myself;
Yuan Juan's father, Uncle Yuan, is 58 years old this year, and his wife is three years younger than him, giving birth to a son and a daughter for him.
Yuan Juan's mother was only 22 years old when she got married, and she and Uncle Yuan were married for 33 years, and 30 years were spent in Uncle Yuan's tantrums and hands on her.
"When my brother turned his face to his father, he asked him, but how many times he remembered hitting his wife, how could he possibly remember?" To be precise, it is impossible to count! For as long as I can remember, my mom seems to have been beaten all the time. ”
Playing cards and losing money, back at home, even if Yuan Juan's mother did nothing, Uncle Yuan would slap him coldly.
Yuan Juan's sister and brother did not have good grades, the exam was smashed, and Uncle Yuan would also count the wives and did not take care of the children, while the mother and son three beat together.
When Yuan Juan got married, it was the time when her grandmother was beaten the most, she went to the hospital, and it took a long time to recover, only because Yuan Juan was disobedient and refused to marry a person who paid a high bride price and had a bad temper like Uncle Yuan.
When Yuan Juan's grandmother was alive, she had three daughters-in-law, but yuan juan's mother served her for more than ten years, during which time, her mother was not beaten less because she did not serve her mother-in-law perfectly.
"My brother and I grew up watching my mother get beaten, and it felt so bad. I go back to see them now, and I still don't want to take care of my dad. However, for people who have the concept of raising children and preventing aging that go deep into the bone marrow, my brother's counterattack really made my father dare not do it. ”
02. The daughter-in-law gave birth to a granddaughter and asked my wife to take the baby, and my son actually wanted to leave me alone in his hometown;
3 years ago, Yuan Juan's sister-in-law gave birth to a daughter, at this time, the younger brother and daughter-in-law are working in the field, settling down, because both people need to be busy with work, no one takes the baby, so the younger brother plans to take Yuan Juan's mother.
Isn't it just a piece of? Wherever you live is the same, don't you just send your servants to us? ”
The younger brother and daughter-in-law were reluctant to give up their daughter and refused Uncle Yuan's arrangement, so Uncle Yuan ordered his wife to pack up their old men's things and go to the city together.
"My dad never dreamed that my brother didn't plan to take him away, only to take my mother, and when he came, my dad was grumpy and had a patriarchal style at home, saying that no one could refute his opinion." If he went to his son's house, continued to give orders, and clashed with his daughter-in-law, wouldn't it be a bad thing? Second, he bullied my mother for so many years, when my brother was young, in order to protect his mother, he was beaten, and the relationship with my father was not good, and he did not want to see him. Finally, the sister-in-law said that the mother-in-law was generous and kind, she was willing to be filial, and the father-in-law who opened her mouth and closed her mouth was a dirty word and lost her temper at every turn. ”
Yuan Juan's father saw that his son and daughter-in-law wanted to leave him alone in his hometown, spilled at home, blocked the door and refused to let his wife leave.
"My mother was also too angry, and at this point, she actually interceded with my father, and in the end, my brother compromised and agreed to let them go together."
03. I slapped my wife and was almost thrown out with my luggage, and I didn't dare anymore;
Before Yuan Juan's younger brother relaxed, he first asked his father, Uncle Yuan, to make three promises.
"First, from now on, you are not allowed to move a finger of my mother, and if you let me know, you can roll." Second, all the money of your old two belongs to my mother, and you don't want to spend all your money on playing cards. Third, you have to do the housework, you have to do more, don't want to be a grandpa. ”
Although Uncle Yuan was unwilling, he looked at his son, who was much stronger than himself, and had no choice but to agree.
At the beginning, Uncle Yuan did not take his son's warning to heart, and not long after arriving at his son's house, he slapped his wife because of the money.
"He also asked my mother not to tell her children, but did he think my brother didn't prevent it?" There is surveillance in the house, and the filming is clear. When my brother saw this, he immediately got angry, packed my dad's luggage, and asked him to roll. ”
"Either roll or be nice to my mom." Although Uncle Yuan did not roll out, he also knew his son's temper, afraid that his son really drove him out and let him live alone, so he had to listen to his son honestly, so far, he did not move a finger of Yuan Juan's mother.
Now, they still live with their sons and daughters-in-law, helping to take care of the children, and Yuan Juan's father's temper has narrowed a lot.
04. The person who hurts his spouse, the evening scene is desolate and desolation, which is purely deserved.
To tell the truth, Uncle Yuan's old age is not bad, at least, as long as he does not continue to die, no longer hurt his wife, and fulfills his husband's obligations, his son will not drive him away, and he will let him grow old.
He has hurt his wife for decades, where is he doing more housework and listening to his wife's words to make up for it? If the wife's temperament is strong, he may be desolate in the evening, and when the time comes, he will not blame anyone, and can only blame himself for committing sins when he was young, not cherishing marriage, brewing bitter fruits, and needing to repay after getting old.
As a quote from the book "I'm Divorced" says, "We really don't want to see young men overdoing their work and not taking the people around them seriously." In the jianghu, it is inevitable that people will suffer involuntarily, but if they are not enough in judgment and concentration, it is easy to be doomed. ”
The person who hurts his spouse, the evening is desolate and deserved. It is normal that your children will not honor you. If they protect their mothers, they will be angry at your actions of hurting the mothers who gave birth to them and raise them, they will not give you the opportunity to continue to hurt their mothers, and your relationship with your children will not be much better. If they see you hurting your mother and are indifferent, it shows that your children lack a filial heart, and they can watch their mother being hurt and not ask, how good will they be to you as a father?
Whether raising children and preventing old ageing can work in the end is directly related to yourself. If you don't educate your children well, fail to fulfill your obligations, and even make your children hate you, it is normal for the evening to be desolate.
Finally, as a woman, please do not learn from Yuan Juan's mother, who was cowardly for most of her life, until her son grew up to protect her. If women want to live comfortably, live better, and not be bullied by men, they must have their own ability and temper, and if you are weak, the more they will be pinched.
Moreover, if you have such a marriage that is worse than death, the children will see it, and the psychology will also leave a shadow and affect their growth.
There is a saying in the movie "The Blacklist": "Why others dare to do bad things on you, because you make people feel that doing bad things on you can do no price." ”
Instead of waiting for the day when your children grow up to protect you, it is better to summon up the courage to force yourself to stand on your own feet and protect yourself. If you don't let the people who bully you know the consequences of bullying you, they won't be jealous and afraid.
END.
Today's topic: What do you think of women who endure husband bullying for their children? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.