This is the 493rd original of Dumb Dad
Author: Guo Ma
01.
Giving birth to a second child, I invited my sister-in-law
There is a saying that "confinement is a woman's second life", although it is a bit exaggerated, but the impact of confinement on the mother is indisputable.
"Pregnant in October, delivered in one day."
Pregnancy is very exhausting for women, energy, childbirth is a test of the physical fitness of the mother, postpartum blood gas loss is more, the mother's body is weak, hormone levels are also experiencing a cliff-like decline.
Therefore, the confinement period is a critical period for the physical and psychological recovery of the mother.
When I was born dabao, I was 30 years old, my family's economic conditions were not rich, and I was still young and made a simple and rough confinement. My mother is responsible for my diet, I am responsible for the baby's diet and living, and my husband is responsible for buying vegetables and going to work.
Of course, my mother took care of me and tried her best, and she was eager to bring me everything delicious, crucian carp soup, pig's trotter soup, chicken soup... Every day is not the same, brown sugar water is drunk every day, and rice wine eggs are also eaten every day.
My body is still strong, but every day with the baby baby, I can't sleep at all, plus hormonal changes have some postpartum depression and anxiety, at that time I didn't understand and no one talked about it, and since then I have planted the seeds of anxiety.
At the end of the confinement, my mother went home, my husband returned to normal work, and the baby and I were suddenly left alone, and no one reminded me to pay attention to supplementary nutrition during the lactation period.
Sometimes I can't take care of eating with my own baby, and I rely on snacks and cookies to fill my hunger. Over time, something went wrong with my body.
Panic, sweating, dying feeling, I thought it was hypoglycemia, went to the hospital to check that it was a autonomic disorder, and later I learned that it was an acute anxiety attack.
Until now, Dabao is 8 years old, and when I am stressed or have a bad rest, I still have symptoms of anxiety attacks.
During the epidemic last year, I accidentally became pregnant with the second treasure, and at that time I made up my mind that I must sit well for the second treasure. Since I was in a third-tier city, the choice of confinement club was too narrow, and under the trade-off, we decided to hire a sister-in-law.
The husband did not dare to be sloppy, more than half a year in advance, compared a lot of domestic intermediaries, and finally selected a gold medal sister-in-law. Through the WeChat video interview, Jian Jian asked a few regular questions to settle down.
02.
During the confinement period, the sister-in-law does something
I gave birth to my second baby, 2 weeks earlier than the expected date of delivery, and after the birth, I stayed in the hospital for one day and was asked to be discharged the next day.
Sister-in-law Yue only came to our house on the third day, and she had just finished her last household, which was the 13th order she had received that year.
Sister-in-law just turned 50 years old, looks very kind and kind, and took over all the food and living of the baby as soon as she came. For the first three days, I, my mother, and my husband took care of the baby together, and all three of us were so tired that people turned over on their backs. As soon as the sister-in-law came, we all relaxed a lot.
Her work includes: making milk for the baby, feeding milk, washing bottles, changing the baby's diaper, washing clothes, coaxing the baby to sleep, bathing and touching the baby; taking care of the mother's three meals a day and two o'clock, and the hygiene and cleaning of the mother's residence.
The sister-in-law took good care of her very carefully, and prepared three meals and two o'clock every day. According to the principle of first row and then supplementation, she formulated a dietary supplement plan for me.
The first two Fridays of red soup, rice wine and egg soup, tonic blood, blood invigorating, to help drain lochia. In the last two weeks, it is mainly based on chicken soup, fish soup, etc., supplemented by grass, which plays the role of nourishing the vitality of milk, and the snacks between meals are also replaced by rice wine and eggs, which is very suitable for my appetite.
As for the staple food of three meals a day, in addition to not putting heavy flavor seasonings, there is no taboo, and every day I eat normally with my family.
Getting together as a family to talk, for me, also regulates the mood of being prone to depression after childbirth.
In order to let me rest well, except for breastfeeding, I basically do not bring a baby, either to catch up on sleep or to eat. When breastfeeding at night, my sister-in-law will also chat with me to help me get rid of my sleepiness.
The whole confinement sat down, I felt more comfortable and relaxed than the confinement of the birth of the big treasure, and my body recovered quickly.
The sister-in-law accompanies the baby around the clock, feeding, changing diapers, holding the sun, bathing and touching.
Most of the babies in the confinement are very well-behaved, either eating or sleeping, but they need to be taken care of all day, and it is not an easy job.
But my sister-in-law is experienced, takes care of her, is also very handy, and reassures us.
03.
Compared with the confinement clubhouse, please have a higher cost performance for the confinement sister-in-law
Many people I know around me also choose to sit in confinement at the confinement clubhouse. Listening to them, the confinement clubhouse is also more comfortable.
First of all, quieter than home. The fact that the mother and the baby are cared for separately ensures that the mother receives adequate rest.
Secondly, the confinement meals in the confinement center are made of scientific nutritional ratios, and the meals look full of color and flavor, which can ensure the nutritional needs of pregnant women at all stages.
There is also a confinement in the center of the more beautiful environment, which is more fresh, and the mood feels like a vacation in a hotel, which is more relaxed.
However, there are also some friends who complain about the shortcomings of the confinement center. (Previously, Dumb Dad had written about the pros and cons of the choice of confinement center)
First of all, of course, the cost of the confinement center is relatively expensive, and the relatively high-end confinement center is often small, even hundreds of thousands, or even hundreds of thousands, and only buys 26 to 28 days of service.
For families with average economic conditions, it is really unaffordable. If you choose a confinement center with low cost, you will worry about the environment, hardware facilities, and meals that are not satisfactory, and it will also add a lot of worries.
I have a friend who especially regrets living in the confinement club, she lives in more than 30,000 yuan, in the third-tier cities for this price is a good confinement club.
However, she could not eat for a few days at the confinement center. Because the food sent is fried in a large pot after all, it is impossible to satisfy the appetite of all pregnant women.
Sometimes, meals are cold when they arrive late. The fruit sent was also a small one, just looking beautiful, in fact, it did not satisfy her appetite.
One of the biggest drawbacks of the confinement center is that when the mother is confined and takes care of the baby independently, she will be helpless, and there is a huge sense of psychological and physiological gap.
Because in the confinement center, the baby has special care, and the mother also has a special person to serve, and the mother only needs to rest well.
As soon as the confinement is born, the mother will face all the care of the child, and no one around will be able to adapt immediately.
At this time, the advantages of asking for a sister-in-law will be revealed.
Confinement at home, the mother can learn how to take care of the baby at any time, and every day with the baby. Even if the sister-in-law leaves, Bao Ma will not have too obvious discomfort.
The sister-in-law cooks for the mother, which can be adjusted according to the appetite and requirements of the mother, which can be said to be a one-on-one accurate service, which can better meet the individual needs of the mother.
No matter what city you are in, the price of the confinement is much lower than that of the confinement center. Even if you choose a gold medal sister-in-law, it saves money than the average confinement club.
04.
Please sister-in-law, there are also these deficiencies
Of course, please sister-in-law is not all-encompassing, with my personal experience, there are the following deficiencies.
First of all, it is not quiet.
During my confinement period, relatives and friends came to visit me and my baby every three to five minutes.
The enthusiasm of relatives and friends is understandable, but to be honest, I am very reluctant to see my friends and family members during confinement. Because the newborn baby's whole body is puffy, and she does not trim the edges and is unkempt all day, she really does not want to leave a bad impression on her relatives and friends.
Coupled with the fact that the baby is weak after giving birth, I really just want to rest well, and talking to people more feels like socializing. In addition, I gave birth to the second treasure in the winter, the high incidence of influenza, if there is a person suffering from a cold, there is a possibility of infecting the whole family.
Again, if there's not a lot of space at home, it feels very cramped, and I felt that way.
My family has three bedrooms and two living rooms, our family of four, my mother, my sister-in-law, plus six people. At the beginning, my sister-in-law and I slept in the master bedroom with the baby, my mother slept in the second bedroom, and my husband slept in the study with Dabao.
However, the baby's frequent drinking of milk and changing diapers day and night caused me to rest badly every day. Later, I went to squeeze the second bedroom with my mother, and my mother snored again, and I didn't sleep well. The husband slept in the study with Dabao, which was also crowded.
Once the space is crowded, it will cause people's mood to be not very good, and at this point, it is more advantageous to have a separate room in the center of the confinement. However, if the home is spacious, then this problem does not exist.
Another point is that the family equipment and facilities are limited, and there are many problems in baby care.
For example, bathing the baby is a big problem, the winter is relatively cold, the bathroom only has no heating equipment, afraid of the baby cold, we are all connected to the bedroom to open the air conditioner to wash the baby. Moving water and basins back and forth is very laborious. And my house floor is low, the winter light is not very good, but also not conducive to the baby jaundice.
The above is a little experience of my own, I hope to give a little reference to the parents who are preparing to have a baby.
Whether to sit in confinement by yourself, invite your sister-in-law or go to the confinement club, or according to your actual situation.
Of course, no matter how to confinement, we hope that the family members will not only pay attention to the newborn, but also give the new mother a little more care and attention.
I also hope that mothers can take the initiative to adjust their physical and mental state, scientific confinement, and use the best state to meet the transformation of identity.
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