It's so miserable!
A mother in Fuzhou, Fujian Province, quarreled with her fifth-grade son, and even strangled her son alive with a mobile phone charging line, after hearing that her son was not breathing, the mother was devastated and wanted to commit suicide by cutting her wrists, but in the end, she did not succeed, and then, she jumped from the 13th floor and died on the spot.
It is said that tiger poison does not eat children, so why did this mother kill her own child with her own hands?
According to neighbors, the children of this family are very well-behaved, their academic performance is good, the piano is played very well, the child's mother is very friendly to the neighbors, and the family of three often goes out to play when they are fine, and life is very harmonious.
Maybe it's just the appearance, maybe there are still hidden secrets, otherwise, how could a mother kill her own child who she brought up with hard work?
Afterwards, some people said that the cause of the tragedy was the child's final exam results, but this was only speculation, no matter how the mother did lose control, she could not control her inner grief, so it would lead to tragedy.
Emotionally out of control mother
Mostly have a bad marriage behind it
In Japan, tens of thousands of child abuses occur every year, and on average, every four days, a child is abused to death, of which 74.5% of the perpetrators are the mother of the child.
What exactly is it that makes a woman emotionally out of control and become the executioner who kills her own child?
Just earlier this month, there was a brutal incident in the United States in which a Chinese mother beat her 5-year-old daughter to death.
During the interrogation, the mother stressed over and over again:
"I need to take care of every aspect of the restaurant, I only have two hands, not four hands, I can't take care of that much. I don't want to do that either, but sometimes I can't control myself. ”
She said that she was about to be unable to hold on, but her husband did not take the handle, so when her daughter disobeyed, she completely collapsed, completely could not control her anger, and waved her fist at her own daughter.
What really makes mothers collapse is not only physical fatigue, but also psychological despair.
In September last year, a mother, emotionally agitated, tried to drag her daughter to commit suicide by jumping off a building.
She asked her husband hysterically:
I forgive you for cheating, it's been three months, you live with that woman, you want money without money, you want a house without a house, you want a car without a car, what do you have that I can covet?
I don't expect you to give me anything, I just want you to give my children a complete home. Is this excessive? Am I only asking for this excessive?
What is the most desperate thing in this world? No matter how you shout, the other party does not respond, obviously alive, but it is like dead.
Last June, a mother stomped her 2-year-old daughter on the street because she couldn't find a job everywhere, feeling desperate and in a terrible mood.
And the daughter was so hungry that she screamed, so she took two of the remaining ten dollars and bought her a roadside sausage, but the daughter only ate one bite and spit it out.
The child's unintentional action instantly broke the mother's last psychological defense line, making her impulsively push her daughter to the ground...
The mother said that in the past two years, she and her daughter have no place to live, no food and clothing, often sleeping on the street, and when she is most desperate, she almost commits suicide with her daughter. The child's father only gives 600 yuan per month for living expenses.
Behind the emotionally out-of-control mother, there is a cool husband.
Many mothers, surviving the death of having a child, but can not survive postpartum depression, survived postpartum depression, but can not survive the burden of life and the depression and disappointment in marriage.
As we get older, the burden on women becomes heavier:
Unable to move forward at work, it can only be eliminated, and there is no idle moment when returning home;
From the birth of the child to the schooling, everything must be taken care of by her;
It is necessary to earn money to support the family and maintain the stability of the family;
Perhaps, behind the husband, there are all kinds of pickiness of the mother-in-law...
She sacrificed herself, gave everything, led the whole family to move forward, and life for her was not a day by day, but a day by day.
But who had mercy on her?
The husband is tired and goes out with his brother for a drink; the husband is angry and excuses that he can't go home after working overtime; the husband is lonely, sitting in the car smoking a cigarette... And she, can't shout tired, otherwise, she will be labeled as a "complaining woman", not to mention, she has no time to complain...
No woman wants to show people with a vicious posture, but a woman who has become a mother has nowhere to escape, her heart is sad but there is no one to rely on, the grievances are not understood, all the pain must be carried by herself, all the tears must be wiped by herself, and the resentment in her heart accumulates day by day, forming a fierce qi in the body, often erupting at the moment when the child provokes her.
The tribulations of life, the unhappy marriage that overwhelms women and makes it impossible to breathe, also takes away women's good temper.
All the emotionally out-of-control mothers we see are women who have lost hope in life and have to compromise with marriage.
Mother's emotions
Hiding the future of the child
An experiment has been done abroad to study the relationship between mother's emotions and children's emotions.
The experiment has just begun
The mother smiles at her child
The kids were also very happy
When the mother is flat-faced
The child begins to realize that something is wrong
When the child tries
Use your own actions to recall your mother's smiling face
And the mother was still holding her face
The child is a little confused
At last
The child began to cry
The mother's emotions are the feng shui of a home, hiding the future of the child. Taking care of the mother's emotions is also the responsibility of the father
If a father can spend at least 15 minutes a day with his child, your child's progress will not disappoint you.
American psychologists have found that 20% of a person's ability to achieve success depends on acquired efforts, and 80% depends on the teaching of the father. As an "important person" in a child's life, the same affirmative word, if spoken by the father, will have 50 times more influence on the child than the mother. The influence of the mother on the child is whether the child can become an independent person; the father is to shape the child's view of life; it is related to the formation of personality.
Whether a person's relationship with the mother is harmonious will affect whether the child's future marriage is happy; whether the relationship with the father is harmonious will affect whether the child is brave and confident, and whether the future career will be successful.
Establishing a close parent-child relationship with children requires the accumulation of bit by bit every day, not overnight. High-quality companionship should be focused on accompanying children for at least 15 minutes a day! That is, when accompanying the child, the father or mother is interacting with the child wholeheartedly, without distraction, without thinking about work, without thinking about stress; of course, these are all there.
It can be reading and telling stories with children; it can be playing games or playing ball with children; it can be listening to music together; it can be sitting on the beach with children to listen to the sound of the waves and explain the knowledge of nature; it can be climbing mountains with children, sitting on the ground together to study nature, observing small animals, small flowers, grass and trees.
It can be no judgment, no accusation, no contempt, no blow, no interruption, just very simple, very appreciative, very focused, very happy, quiet listening to the child. In the process of listening, parents can have: um, oh, wow, yes, and then what? What else? What's next? and other responses.
In the process of companionship, as much physical contact as possible. Pat your child's shoulder, touch your child's head, put your child's little hands in your own hands, hug your child, and so on. There are many more ways, and the most crucial thing is: in that moment, whether you are a parent with your whole heart.
Many Chinese fathers think that taking children is a matter of motherhood, they are in a good mood to play, they do not know the details of some children's preferences, and they are even more at a loss when they encounter children, only the mother comes to clean up the mess. Too many of the drawbacks that a child is brought by a mother are weakness, lack of self-confidence and a desire to explore, and sanity in dealing with problems. This is due to the meticulous care of the mother.
So, fathers, you may have a successful career, but the success of your career cannot make up for the failure of education. Take action! Put down your phone, leave your computer games and wine table dinner, accompany your child to exercise, play, listen to her, make a meal for him and watch him eat happily! You will find that his adoration and joy are something that a mother cannot bring. You are the one whose children cannot live without, which is the proud and happy thing of every father.