In the past ten years, Sheng Hailin has been interviewed by many media and asked countless times, "Do you regret it?"?
In the face of a pair of lovely daughters, no matter how hard the mother works, she will not say the word "regret". The birth of the daughters gave Sheng Hailin the courage to live, and the days had hope and sustenance.
But she also wants to persuade those who want to take this path to think twice: in the past 11 years, she has experienced too many hardships that outsiders cannot imagine, and has endured pressure far beyond ordinary people.
"You can never understand the heartache of a mother who has lost her independence."
Accidentally brushed the video of Sheng Hailin, hit by tears in her eyes.
The mother of the lost independence, who gave birth to twins at the age of 60, has become the subject of much discussion, some people think she is brave, some people think she is irresponsible to their children.
Now that 12 years have passed, is she doing well with her children?
01
Sheng Hailin is an obstetrician and gynecologist, she originally had a daughter, and the family of three was very happy.
The daughter grew up and fell in love with a guy who lived in the countryside, the relationship between the two was not optimistic at first, Sheng Hailin's family conditions were good, and it was completely possible to introduce a better boy to her daughter.
But she respects her daughter's decision, and when she learns that her daughter wants to marry each other, she can only show her mother's understanding to bless the little two.
She never imagined that this matter would become the regret of her life.
After the daughter got married, the first time she spent the Spring Festival, according to the custom, she and her husband returned to the in-laws' house, because they usually did not live at home, the in-laws prepared a small bedroom.
Next to the small bedroom is the kitchen, the house is cold in winter, the window latch is rusty and does not want to open, the daughter and son-in-law sleep in the bedroom, the gas in the kitchen is drilled into the small bedroom, because the room is not ventilated, both of them did not wake up in the morning.
When Sheng Hailin learned the news, her daughter had passed away, she could not believe this fact, but the cruelty of reality made her have to face it.
She cried and cried out to her daughter, asking why was this happening? The family didn't know how to explain it, but said: "It really wasn't intentional, my son is also in the house, and he hasn't woken up." ”
For a long time, Sheng Hailin could not get out of the grief of losing her independence, she made a lot of assumptions, if her daughter was still around, what would she say to herself?
She looked at her daughter's photos over and over again, trapping her thoughts in her memories, but such sadness was not good for her body at all, and Sheng Hailin's body was much weaker.
When her husband saw that she was getting thinner, he dragged her out for a walk and proposed how to really like children and adopt one.
A word awakened the dreamer, Sheng Hailin really moved his mind, and asked everyone: "If I meet an orphan, I can adopt it." ”
Losing her only daughter has left Sheng Hailin without a spiritual pillar, and she urgently needs to divert her attention and let her emotions have a sustenance.
02
Sheng Hailin has a friend, she also lost her only child, and she has not come out for a long time.
The old couple has a pension, food and clothing, but the spirit is very empty, and they feel that the spirit has no sustenance.
Although the people around them will also care about them, no one can truly understand the feelings of their parents who have lost their independence, and the sorrows and joys of human beings are not connected, which is Sheng Hailin's true feeling.
She originally wanted to adopt a child, but where was the chance? After her hopes were disappointed, she suddenly realized that instead of being passive, it was better to take the initiative, why can't she and her husband have a child?
This idea, in the eyes of the people around her is very crazy, everyone advised her, when she is older, when it comes to enjoying her old age, don't toss it, and the pressure of raising children is not an easy task.
But Sheng Hailin insisted that she felt that life should be in her own hands, so she ran to the hospital for TEST tube surgery, but several hospitals did not accept it, felt that her physical condition was not enough, under her repeated requests and agreed to bear the responsibility, a hospital promised to try.
The result was quite smooth, she transferred 2 embryos, the process of pregnancy is also very difficult, morning sickness, body puffiness, blood sugar rise, she has experienced one by one, many times, the soup just drank and vomited out.
Fortunately, her husband understood her and always accompanied her, and after the birth of 2 daughters, Sheng Hailin felt that everything was worth it.
Because the daughter was relatively small when she was born, she needed to be placed in an incubator, which cost 6,000 yuan a day, and this economic pressure was not small for Sheng Hailin.
Coupled with her caesarean section, weak health, taking care of 2 children need to ask for 2 months sister-in-law, and in order to take care of her, her husband also fell ill, so that Sheng Hailin has some regrets, feel that she is too sloppy.
But to be strong, she still decided to take on her own responsibilities, and after the twins turned a hundred days, she began to use her professional knowledge, speaking all over the country to bring herself some income, and when she was busy, she had 360 days a year to run.
Although it is very hard, but seeing more and more savings, she has a sense of solidity in her heart, and the cost of children's growth is guaranteed.
03
When the children went to kindergarten, Sheng Hailin slowly returned to the family.
She pays attention to the cultivation of children, and will often play music to her daughter, the eldest daughter likes to play the piano, the younger daughter likes to play the flute, and there are more cheerful sounds in the house.
The twin daughters also like to dance, slender in stature, they have deep basic skills at a young age, go to interest classes are very active, and rarely let their mother worry.
In terms of learning, the twins also have good grades, the family has accumulated a lot of awards for the children, and seeing her daughter achieve excellent results is the best reward for Sheng Hailin.
However, Sheng Hailin also had troubles, she went to the school gate to pick up her daughter from school, did not dare to go close to other parents, worried that others asked: "Are you here to pick up your grandson?" ”
She didn't know how to answer, but the worry happened, and one day she heard a classmate ask her daughter, "Is that your mother?" How old are you? ”
The daughter replied, "My mother is older, but she is beautiful." ”
Hearing her daughter's answer, Sheng Hailin's worries in her heart were put down, and the two daughters had high IQs, higher emotional intelligence, loved their parents deeply, and were very calm in front of their classmates.
But there are also times when I don't understand, once my daughter came home from school and was locked in the room, Sheng Hailin felt something was wrong, she knocked on the door and asked her daughter what was going on, and her daughter cried and said: "Mom, some classmates said that we don't have parents, is it true?" ”
At the young age of the children, there are still not so many things to distinguish, Sheng Hailin told them: "Of course, it is not true, you are like other children, you are born in the belly of your mother, in order to give birth to you, your mother's figure is deformed." ”
The daughters broke into laughter and hugged their mothers, Sheng Hailin did not know how long she could accompany her children, but every day she was eager to give her children a little more love and let the children have a sense of security.
She will take her daughters to cooking class, let the children learn the skills of self-reliance, and also train the children to study seriously, hoping that they will have a good future.
Today, Sheng Hailin and her husband are still in good health, and she has saved more than 8 million yuan for her daughters, so that there is no problem for her two daughters to complete their studies.
When I watched Sheng Hailin's video, I found that she was a very careful mother, who would knock on the door to inquire when she entered her daughter's room, and only get her permission to enter, which was enough to show her respect for her daughter.
Some people on the Internet say that Sheng Hailin is selfish and gives birth to a daughter for herself, and in my opinion, she is not like this.
Sheng Hailin is a mother with a spirit of dedication, she has a planned cultivation of her twin daughters, and to do respect and companionship, although she is 72 years old, she is still full of vitality, every day to maintain a good state to interact with her daughter, to be honest, better than many young mothers.
Sheng Hailin said that the most touching place was the love of her twin daughters, once she called her daughters to eat mooncakes, and her daughter drew a picture and told her: "Sister has become Chang'e, so that she can eat mooncakes with us." ”
Seeing her daughters' understanding, Sheng Hailin felt that everything was worth it, and she was very grateful for her decision 12 years ago.
When we look at Sheng Hailin and her daughter, we should not only look at it from the perspective of having a baby at an advanced age, but also consider the psychology of the mother who has lost her independence, Sheng Hailin has accompanied her daughters for 12 years, and she will continue to accompany her, and I hope that everyone can give her more encouragement and let the children grow up in love.
A little more understanding, a little less judgment, is probably the greatest kindness we can give them.
I only hope that all such strong mothers in the world can live a long and healthy life.
I also hope that there will be no more desperate mothers in the world.
Source: Network, copyright belongs to the original author