A netizen once left a comment in the mother and baby community that caused a hot discussion, and she shared her true feelings in the hospital when she was pregnant:
"Are older mothers not treated well by doctors and discriminated against?" I am indeed older in my forties, this time in the hospital hospital was said by the doctor, so old, the quality of the eggs is not good and what to give birth to, there can be some bitter food in the future, the mentality collapsed, really want to cry. ”
Pregnant women are inherently fragile and sensitive during pregnancy, and most new mothers can empathize with them, accusing the doctor's words of indeed being inappropriate, but some netizens believe that although the doctor's words are ugly, they are not entirely alarmist.
Nowadays, we refer to some of our older pregnant female friends as advanced maternal age.
At the mention of this word, many people can't help but giggle in their hearts, because compared with young women, older women take greater risks in pregnancy and childbirth, and there are more uncertain factors affecting childbirth, such as premature and difficult delivery, fetal dysplasia, malformations and so on.
In fact, in addition to the physiological risks, people also generally have a more stereotypical impression of advanced maternal age.
Many people think that people, especially women, should do what should be done at what age, and in the eyes of such people, it is unreasonable for women to start conceiving at the age of thirty or forty.
Thirty or forty-year-old mothers are still picky and treated differently, but there is such a woman, she is actually at the age of 60, through the way of test tube surgery, gave birth to a pair of twin daughters.
Her name was Sheng Hailin, and she became the oldest pregnant woman in the country at that time, and the story behind her was also poignant.
The loss of an only daughter, the white-haired people send the black-haired people
Sheng Hailin is now 71 years old, and before she retired, she was the director of a hospital in Hefei.
Before giving birth to twins, Sheng Hailin had a lovely daughter named Yingying when she was young, with a solid life and a happy family, and Sheng Hailin lived a comfortable and happy life before the age of 30.
Like every mother, Sheng Hailin raised Yingying with painstaking efforts, watching Yingying from a child who did not understand the world to a young girl, and finally watched her get married and have children, Yingying's happiness was Sheng Hailin's only wish as a mother.
But this beautiful life was shattered by a sudden disaster.
In the Spring Festival of 2009, her daughter Yingying wanted to accompany her husband back to her in-laws' house in Chizhou, Anhui Province, for the New Year, and like Yingying did every time she left home, Sheng Hailin stopped her daughter and said, "Yingying, mother comb your hair."
While combing her hair, the mother and daughter talked about Yingying's childhood fun, when she was a child, Yingying was a small bald head, everyone regarded her as a boy, and now they are so big, their hair is black, and when it comes to this, both mother and daughter can't help but laugh.
Before leaving, Sheng Hailin still remembers it vividly and is incomparably clear.
She remembers many years later, when her daughter left, wearing a French-style hairstyle, wearing a tweed coat and straight pants embroidered with flowers, and before leaving, the mother and daughter hugged for the last time and said goodbye in a few days.
But I didn't know that this passing had become eternally separated.
Two days later, in the early morning, Sheng Hailin stood in the cold street, the ground was full of the residue of spring festival firecrackers, her eyelids beat in bursts, her body also felt dizzy and nauseous, and her heart was pounding, which made her very uneasy.
Soon after, she received a call from her husband Lao Wu, who panicked and said, "Hailin, you are coming back soon, Yingying is in trouble!"
When Sheng Hailin arrived, she saw Yingying's body, and together with her husband Xiao Jiang, she died of gas poisoning in her in-laws' bedroom.
Sheng Hailin's eyes went black and she almost fainted on the spot.
Her sky is going to fall, she has worked hard to pull Yingying up, for Yingying to do everything, all the way to watch her go to school, work, get married, she thought she could look at her daughter like this until she grew old, but the child disappeared overnight, the dream was shattered, what is more painful than a white-haired person sending a black-haired person?
Sheng Hailin could not accept that her only precious daughter was gone, after Yingying died, she washed her face with tears, muddy and nightmarish, and once Sheng Hailin loved life and was optimistic and positive.
After losing Yingying, she seemed to have been sucked out of all her soul and strength, and she was not interested in anything, and she felt that sometimes even living was a very tiring thing.
She doesn't like sunny days and the sun, she likes the night and snow, especially she can't hear other children calling out to her mother, and she falls into self-doubt all day long: what did she do wrong, God wants to take away her only daughter?
Sheng Hailin could not get out of the abyss of pain, and no matter where she went, the thoughts of her daughter and son-in-law haunted her.
As a former soldier and a doctor who saved lives and helped the injured, Sheng Hailin firmly believed in science, but after she lost her independence, in order to regain a trace of contact with her late daughter, she began to convert to Buddhism, and even bought a mansion near her daughter's cemetery, preparing to commit suicide and bury it with Yingying.
She came to the temple to tell the master about the pain of losing her son, but the master told her that death is not a door, and that after death, a person is like a stranger to the living, and you cannot see your daughter in this way.
Death has also become a meaningless thing, a lifetime is still very long, how to survive decades without children around?
"I can't live with my daughter's urn all the time, there's no temperature." Sheng Hailin said with tears in her eyes.
Sheng Hailin gradually came up with the idea of having another child, and she asked her brothers and sisters if there were more children to inherit to her.
In this regard, her husband Lao Wu said, you are really whimsical.
Indeed, who can't afford to raise a child and is willing to give up their own child, Sheng Hailin's move was unanimously opposed by relatives.
At that time, the Wenchuan earthquake had just passed half a year, so the immortal Sheng Hailin called again to ask if there were any orphans whose parents had died, and they could adopt them.
Sheng Hailin saw a news on TV, Nanning area cracked a major child abduction case, all the children who were rescued were placed in the welfare home, the excited Sheng Hailin called the Nanning Orphanage again, crying and asking if she could adopt a child.
The person in charge said that it is impossible to raise you, and these children are going to find their own parents through paternity testing.
The child has become an obsession of Sheng Hailin, and when all the ways to ask for help from the outside world have no hope, Sheng Hailin finally thought of a way.
That is to do IVF and regenerate a child of your own through scientific means.
Eager to seek children, desperate to do test tubes
This idea is undoubtedly bold and crazy, because at this time, Sheng Hailin is already 59 years old, and all the functions of the body have tended to age, and the risk of having children is extremely high.
This decision was strongly opposed by her husband and others, but Sheng Hailin was extremely determined, believing that she had some advantages over other elderly women.
Because she has been a doctor for so many years, she also knows a lot about obstetrics and gynecology, and at the same time, there is no precedent for 60-year-old women in China to do IVF, if there is any accident in the middle, she is also considered to be dedicated to science.
Husband finally can't help her, Sheng Hailin when she first went to Beijing when the number can not hang up, others asked her what department to see, she answered the reproductive department, doctors and experts are shocked, after understanding is to wave their hands to refuse, saying how can this be done, age is here, the risk is too big.
In the end, Sheng Hailin, who was bumping into walls everywhere, found the hospital where Yingying was born.
She pleaded that she was also a doctor, more experienced, and roughly understood some things, so we would try this time, and if there was any accident in the middle, we would terminate it immediately, and I would bear the responsibility alone, and I would never let you take any risks.
The hospital looked at the unfortunate woman and finally agreed to make an exception for her to perform IVF.
After experiencing various injections, taking medicines and other conditioning methods, Sheng Hailin, who has been menopause for a long time, once again ushered in menstruation.
Soon after, the good news spread that Sheng Hailin successfully became pregnant, and during the pregnancy, Sheng Hailin suffered many sins, heavy bleeding, high edema, liver ascites and so on.
But compared to all this, the most worrying thing for Sheng Hailin is the safety of the child, when the IVF released three embryos, on the 20th day Sheng Hailin was bleeding heavily, thinking that the embryos were all gone, the next day went to the hospital to check and found that there were two alive.
This is Sheng Hailin's later twin daughters, Zhizhi and Huihui.
The situation during childbirth was even more dangerous, the first child came out with placental retention, and finally the doctor used the "freehand peeling" method to successfully get the child out.
On May 25, 2010, despite the hardships, Sheng Hailin finally succeeded in giving birth to a pair of twin daughters.
The twin daughters were born prematurely for more than seven months, less than 4 pounds when they were born, and the sister weighed only two pounds, so the sisters were put into the neonatal care unit after birth.
At the first sight of the child, Sheng Hailin outside the glass burst into tears.
Sheng Hailin, who is a heavy mother, cherishes the two hard-won little babies very much, the child pulls the stool, she is highly nervous, afraid that the child has made a mistake, she has forgotten how to take care of the newborn baby, she forgot that the baby is also to urinate, nails will grow.
It is easier to have children and harder to raise children
The birth of the child was only the beginning, and Sheng Hailin was happy and bitter.
As the saying goes, it is easy to have children and it is difficult to raise children, and it is not easy for Sheng Hailin to have children when she is old, but for her 60-year-old, it is more difficult to raise children.
The cost of IVF surgery is very high, the cost of raising children is also huge, she began to feel financial difficulties, but Sheng Hailin in order to make money, she had to go out to lecture when the child was 100 days old.
Because the income from lecturing was higher than the income she earned from working in the hospital, she traveled all over the country, and Sheng Hailin, who should have been of retirement age, worked outside for more than two hundred days a year.
When the children are older, they are sent to the early education center, and they have to be picked up and dropped off in the morning and evening.
Sometimes the child did not go home, Sheng Hailin went out to lecture, the child did not see the mother after returning home, crying to call Sheng Hailin, listening to the crying of the child on the other side of the phone, Sheng Hailin could not help but cry at the airport.
In 2016, her husband Lao Wu fell down due to overwork and a stroke, in addition to taking care of two young children, he also had to take care of her husband who was paralyzed in bed, and the burden on Sheng Hailin's shoulders was heavier.
She began to feel extremely tired, and she used to have the energy to look at the scenery outside on the plane, but now she can fall asleep tired as soon as she gets on the plane.
Sometimes the child is sick and she accompanies her around, day and night care, before and after all she is busy, the child is well, but Sheng Hailin is tired of the hospital for more than a month.
Two years later, Sheng Hailin, who was running around, began to focus on her home. Later, because of the outbreak of the epidemic, Sheng Hailin no longer went out to lecture to make money.
She had saved a lot of savings in the hard work of the past few years, enough to raise two young daughters, and she could finally be at home with her daughters.
At this time, the sisters are already in their teens, the children are in a lively and active period, but Sheng Hailin has entered the age of ancient rarity, and gradually feels powerless, and there will be some ideological generation gaps that exist between this mother and daughter who are twice the age difference.
This era is developing too fast, in order to keep up with the footsteps of her daughters, Sheng Hailin is also constantly learning new knowledge and information, she feels that she can not be disconnected, otherwise she will be "looked down upon" by them.
However, what makes Sheng Hailin very pleased is that the two daughters are also very good, Zhizhi studies very well, and her sister Huihui has a relatively high emotional intelligence and unlimited vitality, and she also won awards in the high jump competition.
Sheng Hailin said that Zhizhi has the figure of the eldest daughter Yingying, and the younger sister is a bit like a son-in-law.
In 2018, it was also the year when Sheng Hailin was 68 years old, she originally did not want to celebrate her birthday, but ZhiZhihui's two children spent a total of five yuan to buy Sheng Hailin a plastic bead necklace and a ring.
The children also wrote a letter that read: "Happy birthday to my mother, long life and a hundred years old, we love you."
Sheng Hailin, who received the gift, couldn't help but shed tears, and she blushed and said, "I received the cheapest but also most expensive gift in the world."
Sheng Hailin lost her daughter in the first half of her life, and got two children in the second half of her life, experienced countless great sorrows and joys, ups and downs, and at the age when other old people were nursing for years, Sheng Hailin had two young girls to be nursed under her knees to raise.
Now some people also ask Sheng Hailin: "Do you regret it later?"
Sheng Hailin's answer to this was: "At that time, I didn't know that so many things would happen in the future, if these things happened, give me another chance to choose, I would choose to think twice." If there is an afterlife, I will not ask for it again. ”
For the 60-year-old Sheng Hailin through the IVF route to re-conceive and give birth to a child, people's views on this are also mixed, some people sympathize with Sheng Hailin's suffering, lamenting that the mother's love is like a mountain.
Some people also believe that Sheng Hailin's move is irresponsible to the child, the parents are dying of old age, in case of death, leaving two young orphan girls, how to survive in the future.
Perhaps because of this, in the face of the question of regret, Sheng Hailin will give such an answer, perhaps she has felt remorse in countless journeys that are tired to the point of no return, but she has rekindled her fighting spirit in her daughter's innocent smile and childish words.
In any case, she did not choose to back down, always took responsibility for the decisions she made, and raised her children well to this day.