As a Chinese of Chinese descendants, since ancient times, he likes the joy of prosperity and children and grandchildren, and judges loneliness and coldness as the punishment of the failure of life.
But if it is sixty or seventy years old to lose the only child, should we still allow the erosion of invisible shackles to give birth to two or three children?
In 2010, many TELEVISION stations reported the news that a 60-year-old mother had successfully given birth to twin girls through IVF technology, thus becoming the oldest mother in China. Many people were very shocked to hear it.
Born in 1949, her aunt was the president of a hospital in Hefei, Anhui Province, before her retirement. After her daughter Tingting returned to her in-laws' home to die of gas poisoning, Sheng Hailin was depressed for several months, cried and dried her tears, and finally pushed back the criticism and decided to have one or two more children.
"I can't live with my daughter's ashes, there is no temperature!" In Sheng Hailin's eyes, the old two have a total of more than 10,000 pensions per month, in fact, they do not need children to retire, but the family needs popularity and the continuation of the bloodline, which is the meaning of living.
After the news was broadcast, many people praised her extraordinary courage, great maternal love, and great contributions to medicine, and Sheng Hailin once said that she had no complaints and no regrets, but in interviews in recent years, she said regret with a handful of snot and tears: "If I come again, I will definitely not take such a desperate risk, it is too bitter!" ”
Just as the so-called "the world only knows that children are good, do not know that children urge people to grow old", "ten years of trees, a hundred years of tree people", young couples in their twenties and thirties are deeply tired and bitter when raising a child, not to mention the 60-year-old retired elderly who should have been raising a child for a long time?
1. Pregnancy is not easy: Becoming a twin pregnant woman in the year of Hua Jia, the physical pain is dozens of times that of young people
After losing her daughter, Sheng Hailin initially looked around for the opportunity to adopt a child, proposed a step-child to relatives, asked the orphans in the trafficking case whether they had parents, and so on, but they failed to achieve their wishes.
Until one day, an obstetrician and gynecologist friend called to greet her, Sheng Hailin had a clever move, now that the technology is so advanced, maybe I can give birth by myself through IVF?
After mentioning the idea of having a child by test tube, relatives and friends all thought that Sheng Hailin was crazy and suggested that her husband rush to a mental hospital for treatment. At the age of 60, after 4 years of menopause, I still want to have children by myself, not what a brain disease is.
But Sheng Hailin herself did not think so.
First of all, she has been the dean for many years, and she also has rich experience in medicine, and the control of the physiological mechanism is not comparable to that of ordinary people, secondly, she also has the experience of giving birth and raising a baby, what problems will be encountered in pregnancy, what kind of care and care needs for the growth of the child, she has experienced, although she is 60 years old, but more attention is not as scary as relatives say.
Just do it. Sheng Hailin used her many years of work connections to find the most technologically advanced hospital. She went to several well-known hospitals in Beijing and Shanghai, and the doctors all shook their heads in unison: "I am too old to keep up with my physical functions and cannot control the risk." ”
Even if Sheng Hailin repeatedly emphasized that she had the identity of a doctor, the obstetrician and gynecologist still refused: even if you don't want to die, the child is born weak, the follow-up trouble is innumerable, and the survival rate is simply low to the dust.
The persistent Sheng Hailin did not want to give up, she turned to the hospital where she gave birth to her daughter, promising that all the consequences would have nothing to do with the hospital, she would assume all responsibilities, and once successful, she would make a great contribution to medicine, and she could also give the hospital publicity for free.
The doctor couldn't resist her and reluctantly agreed to try it. At this time, Sheng Hailin officially embarked on the journey of suffering and sin.
Overjoyed, Sheng Hailin began to actively prepare for pregnancy, she had to eat countless drugs and health care products every day, go to the hospital every three to five to get injections, draw blood for tests, and do physical exercises, in order to restore her physiological period first. Although the process is difficult, she can't help but raise the corners of her mouth when she thinks of the happiness of her child's company in the future.
The kung fu paid off, Sheng Hailin persisted for three or five months, and finally resumed menstruation and had the qualifications to do test tubes. After many tosses, Sheng Hailin finally became pregnant with a child.
Sure enough, follow-up questions followed. Sheng Hailin appeared hepatic ascites, hypertension, hyperuric acid, hypoproteinemia and other dangerous symptoms, coupled with the sequelae caused by hormone injections, Sheng Hailin also often had body edema, joint pain, all adverse reactions added together, she was listless during the day, and she could not sleep at night.
More than twenty days after pregnancy, even more because of her age, Sheng Hailin had a heavy bleeding. This is not a good sign, women who have had children understand.
Sheng Hailin's husband saw it in his eyes and hurt in his heart, as a man he could not do anything, he could only silently stay by his wife's side, and then secretly went to the bathroom alone to wipe his tears.
Under the treatment of the doctor, Sheng Hailin's bleeding symptoms finally stopped. The next task is to protect the fetus, and as long as the first few months of dangerous periods are passed, the operation is half successful.
In order to keep the hard-won child, Sheng Hailin and her husband are careful every day, according to the doctor's requirements to eat nutrients and drugs, pregnant women pregnant with twins are extremely difficult, not to mention the 60-year-old super age, Sheng Hailin often has difficulty breathing during pregnancy, tossing and turning, bluntly speaking ten times more difficult than the first child.
At 9:05 a.m. on May 25, 2010, Sheng Hailin underwent a caesarean section in the hospital and successfully gave birth to her 7-month-old twin daughter.
Because it was a premature baby, the two children were more than 2 pounds and one was more than 3 pounds, and they were put into the intensive care unit after birth, and under the full rescue of the doctor and the careful care of the nurse, the two daughters miraculously survived.
2. Parenting is not easy: It is supposed to be a long time, but I have to return to the road of working for my children
For Sheng Hailin, the matter of having a child in a test tube, physical pain is one thing, and what is more serious than the pain is the hardship of raising children. The time for pregnancy, childbirth, and convalescence is only two or three years, but it takes decades to raise two children, and the cost of the period is not limited and there is no end.
The old two have worked for many years of savings plus more than 10,000 pensions, Sheng Hailin originally thought that there was no problem with dealing with children, and as a result, the cost of IVF was huge, from pre-conditioning body, embryo culture to late fetal protection, incubator care, just more than 30 days after the birth of two children, the nursing fee exceeded 200,000, this trip, Sheng Hailin and his wife spent a total of seven or eight hundred thousand, and paid out a lot of family foundations.
At this time, Sheng Hailin panicked, and she suddenly found that she underestimated the cost of raising a child, and this time there were two more. So not long after the confinement, Sheng Hailin planned to quickly find channels to make money, save more for her two daughters, and there are more places to use money.
After seeing the news, some institutions took the initiative to invite Sheng Hailin and his wife to give speeches about IVF all over the country, and provided them with a generous remuneration, the old two of course nodded in agreement, and then, they insisted on giving speeches all over the country regardless of whether it was sunny or rainy, and in a few years, they made a lot of money.
In addition, in view of her previous status as a doctor, Sheng Hailin also cooperated with many medical institutions and health product companies to give lectures and do training in various places.
The training instructor looks glamorous, but it is actually a major physical work. In 365 days a year, Sheng Hailin travels and lectures for 200 days, leaving early and returning late, and needs to stand for six or seven hours a day, which is a huge physical expenditure for people in their 60s.
Coupled with Sheng Hailin's love for her daughter, not only let her two daughters enter a private school to take the road of art, but also let them learn a lot of hobbies, piano, dance, flute, swimming, cooking, ordinary people will only let children learn one or two, and will not insist on too long, but Sheng Hailin wants her daughter to experience all the beauty of the world, for the daughter's subsequent smoothness, she is willing to burn herself and illuminate her daughters.
In 2016, her husband was paralyzed by a stroke due to years of pressure. Sheng Hailin pushed down many invitations and took part of her time to take care of her sick husband.
Seeing that his wife was still so desperate in her old age, the military husband, who had always prided himself on being stubborn, also shed sad tears. He knew that he should not cause trouble for his wife at this time, but the illness was not something he could control, and no matter how much attention he usually paid, he still encountered this obstacle.
Looking back at Sheng Hailin's original intention of deciding to ivy infant, in fact, she could have a child to accompany her, so that she would not be so lonely and lonely in her later years.
However, the current situation does make her busy at work almost no time to accompany the growth of her children, when she goes out, it is not yet dawn, the children are still dreaming, she comes home after work, and the children have gone to bed. There is little intimate communication and contact between mother and child.
The outbreak of the epidemic has made the work of the people of the whole country press the slow play button, and also let the 73-year-old Sheng Hailin have time to reflect on herself. She looked at the numbers on her bank card, she could breathe a sigh of relief, suspend her previous work at home to spend time with her children, and the savings of seven or eight million were enough for two children to have no worries about food and clothing for many years.
3. Gossip attack: Netizens' accusations and criticisms make people breathless
If the physical pain is not effective for a long time, raising children is the need to look at the investment of money, these are short-term, objective patience and pay, then millions of viewers and netizens of the mixed opinions, is the most difficult to digest the pressure.
At first, the husband opposed Sheng Hailin's obstinate behavior, saying that she was willful and irrational, relatives and friends said that she was insane and crazy, doctors and nurses said that she was whimsical, taking her own and the child's life inappropriately, after the TV report, the national netizens said that she was selfish, did not consider the child, and some said that she had nothing to do, for ordinary people, looking around can not find a person who supports themselves, may commit suicide several times.
Liu Xuezhou is the most typical representative. After experiencing the injuries of parental abandonment and internet violence, Liu Xuezhou suffered from major depression and committed suicide. Some people say that his parents are the culprits, netizens just sprinkled a little salt on the wound, in fact, the lethality of Internet violence is far greater than people imagine, even if a person has not been hurt by relatives, as long as netizens make up a little rumor, it can also make many people go to the end of the road.
But Sheng Hailin never flinched, she knew what this decision meant, and she also made a painstaking effort for her decision, she suffered a lot, but she still did not give up.
In order to inspire more people to love life, Sheng Hailin opened a Douyin account to share her own mental journey and the daily life of her two children from time to time, accepting both the blessings of netizens and the criticism and accusations of netizens.
Although she said in the interview that she had some regrets, she did not expect that this road was so bumpy and arduous, and if she encountered such a thing in the next life, she would never risk it again, too tired!
But onlookers know that the fewer people take, the faster they tend to grow and the greater the gains.
As Haruki Murakami said: "Don't worry too much about the present, don't worry too much about the future, there are no useless experiences in life, when you experience some things, the scenery in front of you is different from before." ”
However, such a great move is not worth learning.
She is indeed an amazing mother, a good and conscientious employee at work, she is stubborn, does not hit the south wall and does not look back, so she can do this kind of different thing.
Extreme success requires extreme character as a long-term support, and ordinary people are better off not trying. According to the world record, there are only three people in the world who currently give birth to children over the age of 55, one in the United States, 66 years old, one in India, 70 years old, and there are three in the world, which is lower than the probability of an Olympic champion.