The loss of independence has always been a heavy topic, and the sending of black haired people by white-haired people is like a disaster for one-child families. After losing their only child, parents can even lose hope and courage to live.
So where is the way out for the old man who lost his independence?
Guo Min, who was 56 years old at the time, had already reached the age of becoming a grandmother, but was forced to choose a different path.
01 People reach old age and lose their only daughter
Guo Min once had a happy family, a husband who loved her, and a daughter who was sensible and filial, but an accident in 2005 completely took away all her happiness.
Born in 1954, Guo Min married her ex-husband and gave birth to only one only daughter, for Guo Min, this daughter is her palm pearl and all her hopes.
In order to provide better conditions for her daughter, at the age of 38, she resolutely left her hometown and went to Beijing alone to make money.
Later, because of the gathering of less and more, her relationship with her first husband broke down, her husband filed for divorce, and her favorite baby daughter was also awarded to her husband, but no matter where she was, her love for her daughter never changed.
In 2001, after the 47-year-old Guo Min remarried in Beijing and her life stabilized, the first thing she did was to bring her 20-year-old daughter to her side, and she wanted to be close to her daughter and give her a better future.
The daughter is very sensible, although she and her mother are less and more separated, but after arriving in Beijing, she is still very close to her mother. The daughter works hard and is well-behaved and filial, which makes Guo Min extremely pleased. At that time, she was very happy.
At that time, her future plan was: to help her daughter start a family, and when her daughter gave birth, she would help her daughter with her children and enjoy the joy of the world.
However, there are unpredictable storms in the sky, and people have bad luck and bad luck. One night in 2005, Guo Min suddenly received bad news: her daughter had died in a car accident! The news was like a thunderbolt on a sunny day for her, who was 51 years old at the time.
Guo Min said that at that time, he felt that his sky had collapsed, and there was no hope for life, and all that was left was endless pain and despair.
She took out the picture of her daughter again and again, while stroking and weeping, her heart ached so much that she could not breathe, as if overnight, the original black hair suddenly became gray, she began to lose sleep all night, while tears said: Daughter, can you come back to me.
But no matter how she called, her daughter had completely disappeared from her life. All that was left for her was the pain that was difficult to let go, and Guo Min even felt that she could not live.
02 In order to regain hope, the 54-year-old decided to get pregnant and have a child
I thought that the pain of losing my daughter would slowly fade over time. But I didn't expect that the older I got, the stronger the feeling of pain and loneliness became.
Guo Min feels that only by having a child again can she have the hope and motivation to continue to live.
In 2008, Guo Min, who was already 54 years old, suddenly saw a news in the newspaper that a 60-year-old Japanese old woman had actually given birth to a son through IVF, which made Guo Min's heart rekindle hope.
The old lady is 60 years old, she is only 54 years old, others can do it, she can certainly do it. She wants to have another daughter in order to miss her eldest daughter.
After making up her mind, she went to persuade her wife at the time, who was a little resistant at first, but felt that she had a son, and Guo Min was helpless after that, and at that time, the couple was still in good health and could support a child, so she agreed.
So the couple took out all their savings and went to ivory infant, although the process also experienced failure, but Guo Min never wanted to give up, the second year of test tube, 56-year-old Guo Min got pregnant as he wished, and it was still a dragon and phoenix fetus.
But such a result made Guo Min's husband a little uneasy, he felt that a child can barely be fed, two pressure is too much, so it is recommended that the wife give up one, but Guo Min feels that since they are pregnant, there is a reason to give up. Under Guo Min's soft and hard bubble, her husband also agreed with her idea.
In 2010, the 56-year-old Guo Min ping gave birth to a dragon and phoenix fetus, and the pair, who were already grandparents, became parents again.
Although she has experienced a lot of pain, Guo Min feels that life suddenly has hope again, and she feels very happy looking at her two lovely children.
But this good mood did not last long, because after 3 years, her husband regretted it.
03 The husband regrets it and wants to send a child away
In 2013, Guo Min's 65-year-old wife suddenly fell seriously ill and could not even take care of herself, let alone take care of her young children.
In desperation, Guo Min could only let his wife return to his son's home, and he took on the responsibility of taking care of his two children alone.
Because he could not rest assured of his wife, and he was unable to raise and take care of the children, Guo Min's wife became very pessimistic, he regretted giving birth to a dragon and phoenix fetus, he wanted Guo Min to send a child to reduce the pressure of life, and leave a child as a companion.
Her husband's statement made Guo Min very angry, in her opinion, giving birth to a child must be responsible for the child, she does not need her husband to help raise, but at least he has to support himself.
Stubborn Guo Min no longer counts on her husband, in order to support her children, her daily life is like a war, and even do six or seven part-time jobs at once, get up every day before dawn, sometimes only sleep four or five hours a day, both to take care of children and to work hard to earn money.
In order to make money, Guo Min rotated every day, even on weekends to send his children to kindergartens, sometimes it was dark, and then he went to pick up his children and go home.
At this time, there are more and more voices of doubt, and many people say that having a child at such an old age is completely irresponsible to the child, suffering the child, and also suffering themselves.
But Guo Min never cares about the eyes of others, in her opinion, the days are her own life, she is happy, and it does not matter what others say.
No matter how hard it is, as long as she sees the lively and cute appearance of the two children, Guo Min feels that all her efforts are worth it.
In 2018, his wife died of illness, and the 64-year-old Guo Min became a veritable elderly single mother. At this time, she also began to worry about her body, what should the children do if her body was wrong, she wanted to live to 100 years old, and watch the children grow up and start a family.
After 11 years, she is still optimistic about living happily with her children
With the increase of age, coupled with overwork, Guo Min's body also began to light up red lights. Guo Min realized that he must take good care of his body, and only when he is healthy and healthy, can the children have a dependence and a home.
Fortunately, her daughter left her a 100 square meter house, and this house happens to be the semester room in Beijing, Guo Min moved into a new house with her children, and after having a place to live, the pressure of life is much less.
After the children went to school, Guo Min exercised at home, and the family relied on Guo Min's pension of more than 2,000 yuan, and life could be maintained.
After the school learned of their family's situation, it offered to organize donations for the two children, but Guo Min refused, she did not want her children to be treated differently, and she did not want them to become unconfident.
Therefore, she carefully planned the life of the family, but also planned the future of her two children, working hard to live and rely on herself.
In the blink of an eye, both children have grown up, and their height has surpassed that of their mothers. Guo Min said that if she did not have two children, she might have died a long time ago, and it was the two children who gave her hope and light.
I can't be pessimistic, I'm pessimistic about what the kids do. She firmly believes that as long as you follow the advice of doctors and pay attention to eating and living well, you can live a healthy life and watch your children grow up.
Where is the way out of losing independence at an advanced age?
After learning of Guo Min's deeds, an elderly mother who lost her independence called Guo Min and said, "I can't live anymore, can I forget the original one?"
Guo Min told her: "It's not that I forgot, but after I have a child, I spend all my thoughts on the child, and I can see new light and hope."
Another person asked her: "We are so old and our children are so small, what will we do in the future?" Guo Min said: "This is something that you have to consider well, your physical condition and economic situation, in case the child has not grown up, he is gone, how pitiful the child is, so he has to consider every aspect, this is responsible for himself, but also responsible for the child."
Therefore, for parents who have lost their independence, whether to have children again is their own choice, if there is a strong desire, the body and economy can keep up, which is undoubtedly the fastest way out of the pain of losing a child.
If you can't have children, you should also try to adjust your mentality, live a good life, life is short, no matter how you live, it is a lifetime.
epilogue:
Many netizens said that when they are old, they should not have children. Because, for children, it is very unfair.
However, how many people can truly understand the pain of parents who have lost their independence. For Chinese parents, children are all hope and future, without children there is no hope, and there is only endless pain left in life.
Therefore, it is also understandable that the widowed couple wants to have another child, as long as they think clearly and have the ability to raise children, no matter how old they are, it is their freedom to have children.
I have to say that Guo Min is really a respected mother, hoping that she can get her wish to live a long life, accompany her children to grow up, and enjoy the long-awaited happiness.