As mentioned last time, after the ovarian cyst surgery, although my AMH level did not drop significantly, it was still considered difficult to get pregnant.
After breaking up with my boyfriend, the doctor advised me to stop the IVF and try a natural pregnancy for half a year to a year, and then perform assisted reproduction if I was still not pregnant. (For specific information, please click on me to see the top half of this story)
So, I sent a blind date post, gave myself a six-month deadline, if I can get married within half a year, I will try to get pregnant as soon as possible, if I am not married, I should take medicine, I should take injections.
So, my 2021 started with a blind date.
After talking about his condition in the post, he received a variety of private messages and comments, such as:
Of course, I have also met many blind dates that look very "beautiful".
A Jun, the level of the Internet factory is not low employees
The first time he sent me home, he took my hand and insisted on "going to your house and sitting down."
Maybe I wasn't open enough, and then he asked me out again and made excuses to shirk it.
However, he is the most diligent person I have ever met, and I have admired Hangzhou from 1 a.m. to 6 a.m. in his circle of friends.
From the perspective of work attitude alone, I really feel ashamed of myself.
B Jun, is the legendary "pig killing plate"
After two days of chatting, I couldn't help but debunk him and say:
"Have you ever seen a show called Talking to Strangers? One episode of the show tells the story of a girl who suffers a pig-killing plate, and at the end of the story, she retaliates with a tit-for-tat, sets up a set, and kills the man who cheated on her. ”
This king has blackened me ever since.
C Jun, mild-mannered appearance
He behaved politely from beginning to end, and also took the initiative to share his song list and book list. Later, I followed his playlist and found his Weibo, and found that he had been married for many years.
D Jun, my hometown
I went to the appointment with the enthusiasm of my fellow villagers, and as a result, I listened to him show off his wealth the whole time, from telling the history of his family's origins, how many houses he had under his name, to the demolition of his hometown.
After a meal, I didn't interject a few words, or I rushed to check out the bill, because I didn't want to see him a second time.
Of course, most of the blind dates are also relatively normal. Every time the other person invited me to dinner, out of courtesy I had to find time to return the invitation.
If the other person gives a gift, I will find time to give back a gift of equal value.
These are basically based on the principle of courtesy and reciprocity, and there are not too many personal feelings.
After several rounds like this, I was also a little exhausted. After a short blind date, I started to get a little tired.
Have you ever met someone who almost got married? There really is one.
The boy is a lawyer.
Regarding my condition, he consulted some information on his own and told me:
IVF has become very popular in China, he can accept, and comforted me that in fact, cysts are just a very common small disease, so that I don't have to worry about it.
I didn't like or hate him, I could only say that the conditions were right.
Moreover, the criteria he listed for mate selection are not generally numerous, especially in terms of academic qualifications: the other party must be a 985 college graduate.
After learning about my graduate school, he also asked me about my undergraduate school and college entrance exam scores.
Although I thought it was a little strange, my girlfriend advised me to say:
"Of course, excellent people will have many conditions, his conditions are harmless, and others do not hate your illness, what do you want to do with the bicycle!"
I even began to feel that "it's all this time, which is my turn to pick and choose.".
So, at the urging of my parents, the third meeting, I arranged a meal and let my parents meet him.
My parents feel that the overall quality of this boy is not bad, that is, he is not stable enough to talk and do things, but no one is perfect and harmless. Then ask for my opinion.
It was strange that I couldn't answer for a while, and even my brain went blank.
It was also at that moment that I suddenly realized that even if I had just met again, I still had no new understanding of this person.
I can't feel the other person's thoughts, I don't know if I have a good feeling for me, let alone whether I like me.
Is it really necessary to marry someone who has only met three times? Although I hesitated, I guess I can't delay others for too long, and think about it for three more days.
For the next two days, the lawyer would talk to me every day at noon and in the evening, making voice calls.
But all of this gave me a sense of "routine", and in the few long or short phone calls, neither of us found anything in common.
I became more and more convinced that there was no love between us.
On the third day, I made a phone call with him and made it clear directly on the phone.
To the effect that I was very sorry to have delayed him for so long, and that I was really tall with him and that he should have a more worthy marriage partner.
Knowing that I had turned down the lawyer, I could feel that my parents were completely ignoring me.
They don't understand what I want, and even I don't understand what I want. But I seemed to know very well that I didn't want anything.
But at least, after going through this and finding that I couldn't withstand the rhythm of the blind date as I imagined, I withdrew the blind date post.
During that time, I often had nightmares at night, staging all kinds of crime blockbusters in my dreams, and I would wake up until dawn.
One morning I couldn't sleep, and I sent a circle of friends. Unexpectedly, someone soon came over and clicked a thumbs up, and sent a comment, this person is T.
T is a friend I met in early 2020, and while we had some common ground, I was shortly together with my ex-boyfriend at the time.
After T made love to me, I politely rejected him on the grounds of "I have a boyfriend". After that, each other gradually became people living in the circle of friends.
Seeing that T hadn't slept so late, I had a few idle words with him.
He asked me how I was doing (I had a circle of friends when I was discharged from the hospital), and I told him about my recent situation, and I was a little sad for a while.
He immediately made a voice call, but he was too straight, and the comfort he said was very pale, and after two or three sentences of conversation, both sides fell silent.
Then he said:
"You sleep, I'll hang up when you're asleep."
I suddenly felt a little relieved, so I buckled the phone next to my pillow and fell asleep in a daze.
And just like that, for several nights in a row, I called T in voice. Sometimes he just got off work and asks me what I've done today, what I've eaten, and when we're done talking about it, it's just the silence I'm used to.
Sometimes I think about it, I have just experienced a failed relationship, I am anxious to post a blind date, and I still talk about my fears with a boy who has just become familiar with him at night when I can't sleep, and use the other party to digest emotions.
I guess maybe he looks down on people like me.
To some extent, the fact that I was sick made me see that I was just an ordinary person with moral "flaws".
However, at my lowest point, he caught up with all my negative emotions like a net, something that no one else could have done during that time.
One night, I told T about my blind date and that I was going to change jobs, and he got angry and said I was very irresponsible to myself.
He asked me:
"In such a short period of time, are you sure you came out of your last relationship?"
You haven't had a good rest and are going to take on more intense work?
Who says a woman must marry when she reaches thirty?
Can't you live happily?
You have a house, you have a good job, what are you in a hurry for? ”
I was a little upset for a moment and shouted back at him:
"That's because the person who is sick is not you, so you take medicine for a few years to try."
At the end of the meal, osteoporosis, liver function is impaired, no one loves, no family, no children, and no one finds it after dying in Hangzhou. ”
There was a stunned end of the phone, and then there was no sound, only a silent silence.
I continue to be bold:
"It doesn't matter if you look down on me, I can't marry out, there are more people who are close to me."
He laughed angrily and said;
"Who are they?"
I say:
"There's a lawyer, and I think it's pretty reliable."
I actually turned down a lawyer at that time, and I only said this because I didn't want to lose.
He said:
"I don't think it's reliable. I have never seen a few faces, how to judge a person? ”
I distinctly felt him lifting the bar, and became even angrier, saying:
"As long as you are reliable, you are excellent, but you are not married, what is the use?"
He said a little helplessly:
"It's not that you don't get married, it's that the timing is wrong now, the decisions you make now are too impulsive, you must at least calm down for half a year." 」
I know that the dispute is back to square one, a contradiction that can never be resolved.
For a moment I felt only lost face, and then I quickly hung up the phone, as if this would allow me to tamper with the series of stupid operations I had just made.
T didn't call again. Neither did the next day. Nor did it on the third day.
On the fourth day, February 7, 2021, at night near 12 o'clock, I slept so foggy that I felt my phone vibrate.
I picked it up and looked at it, and T sent a WeChat message over, and he said:
"Let's be together."
I sat up from the bed. At that moment, I could even hear my own heartbeat, which seemed particularly powerful in the quiet darkness of the night.
I'll be right back:
"I need to get a license to get married as soon as possible, can you do it?"
"How fast?"
I replied:
"The sooner the better."
My heart was beating faster and faster.
This may be a gamble, but I am 30 years old, why can't I be willful one last time? Besides, I'm willing to gamble and lose.
About an hour later, my phone rang and he said:
"Come out, I'm downstairs from your house."
I asked him:
"You think about it, are you really going to marry me?"
"Yes. I'm afraid that lawyer won't be good for you. Not good enough for you. ”
I went downstairs and saw his eyes shining in the dark wind.
He looked a little thinner and had a little shorter hair than he had when we met last year. He smiled as soon as he saw me.
I ran over and asked him:
"What are you laughing at?"
"I don't know, I want to laugh when I see it."
I laughed too, and it was the first time in so long that I laughed with relief. It was a smile I had never seen before in any blind date.
I felt that the wind that day was not cold at all.
I was 4 years older, like me, after graduating, I drifted north for a few years, and then came to Hangzhou.
He said that when he first met me, he liked me very much and thought I was very stylish.
The first time we met, we also talked about Quentin's "Kill Bill", and he said that he had never met a girl who watched this kind of movie in his life, and he was very impressed.
Later, I knew that I was in love, and it was not good to bother me again, but every time I sent a circle of friends, he would pay special attention to it.
He said that when it comes to marriage, the people in his family have gone from urging marriage to not being able to move, and he has always held a natural attitude.
As for the children, the younger siblings in the family have their own families and children, so he is not under pressure from the family in this regard.
I discussed with him whether he needed to see both parents first, and then set a time for getting a license and getting married.
He's been making his own decisions for a long time, so just look at my side.
I asked him again:
"Do you want to tell his family about my physical condition?"
"No, this kind of thing the old man knows will only increase his troubles."
"So what if I really can't have children?"
"Then we can be comfortable, and the money I have saved is actually enough for us to retire." As for my parents, it would be better to say that it was my problem. ”
Unexpectedly, the thing that had been bothering me so much was solved in less than five minutes when I arrived at him.
Soon, I took him to see my parents. His parents liked him very much, saying that he was an assertive and responsible man.
Our marriage is thus put on the agenda.
None of us are too ceremonial, and the marriage certificate is more important to me than the wedding flowing mat, because it is a necessary condition for test tubes.
So T and I submitted a marriage application to the Civil Affairs Bureau in late February, and chose Arbor Day to get a license.
Officially announced marriage in the circle of friends
The copywriter borrowed a love poem written by Wang Xiaobo to Li Yinhe
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That night, he magically took out a bottle of wine and said:
This is a New Year's gift from our company boss to each employee.
He has never found a chance to drink it, so he will kill it with me today.
It was the first time in my life that I had drunk so much wine, and it was also the first bottle of wine for our wedding.
The days after I got married were the happiest times of my life.
The balcony of my house is carefully furnished by my husband
It becomes springy
I looked for some good and cheap furniture from all over the place
Dress up your home in a literary retro
I have never touched the spring water of the sun with ten fingers
After getting married, he fell in love with the art of cooking