From the moment the child is born, parents begin to learn parenting knowledge, want to help through the parents' education, the child to cultivate excellent and responsible, but also look forward to their own children in the future is very good, want to make the family become the best cornerstone of children's growth.
However, as the child grows up day by day, as the child enters a period of rebellion, parents find that the original child's growth is constantly changing with the psychological age, and this change parents seem to be unable to keep up with the rhythm.
Therefore, as the child's sense of autonomy continues to increase, the child emphasizes more and more on the self, the parents' interference and nagging, the child will be disgusted, and even some children will be because of the resistance to the parents' nagging, the parents are not inferior, and the heart of the parents is broken.
In the face of children's changeable emotions, stubborn personality, declining academic performance, and some bad living habits, this series of confusion, parents will wonder, in the end how to raise children well?
In fact, the growth of children itself is a test for parents, and it is also the process of parents entering the child's heart and establishing deep feelings with their children.
Every child is not perfect, even those "other people's children", in fact, their parents are also very headaches. In fact, as long as the child has the following 4 signs, it means that you have raised your child very well.
01, the first sign: children trust their parents, willing to listen to their parents' nagging, and share their little secrets with their parents
Friend Xiaoli complained that since her daughter entered the fifth grade of primary school, she didn't like to tell her anything, liked to play in her room after school, her homework was done at school, and she didn't know what she was doing in the closed house.
For this reason, Xiaoli is very frustrated, because she feels that since the birth of her daughter, she has been doing her best to take her daughter, and she has not given birth to a second child, and all her energy has been put into her daughter, how come in the end her daughter does not kiss herself? What's not to like to share with your mother?
After listening to Xiaoli's words, I realized where the problem was, because Xiaoli's discipline of her daughter was very strict, I remember once I took my child to her house to play, at that time her daughter was less than 4 years old, the child was not allowed to make a sound when eating, she was not allowed to speak when eating, anyway, it was a comprehensive requirement for her daughter.
So small children grew up in their mother's strict tutoring, and they trembled when they saw their mothers, so when the child reached the age of 5 years of rebellion, he would have a rebellious psychology against his mother.
Generally speaking, if the parents are well educated, the children are willing to share some small secrets with their mothers, and even when they encounter problems, they are willing to seek help from their parents.
If the child does not trust the mother, no matter how to ask, the child is not willing to tell his "secret in his heart". The cause of distrust is often caused by the long-term improper communication pattern between parents and children.
02, the second sign: the child knows how to accept himself
More confident children often have a clear and comprehensive understanding of themselves, they understand their shortcomings and deficiencies, and they know where their strengths are.
They know how to appreciate themselves, they know how to praise others, in short, they are optimistic, confident, and they know how to appreciate themselves and accept themselves.
Although a momentary setback will make them sad and sad, they will learn from the setbacks, they will come out quickly, and they will never underestimate themselves because of other people's words.
And we often have some children around us, obviously they are very good, but they always feel that they are inferior to others, thus becoming inferior and unconfident, if the child is like this, parents have to find problems from their own education, is it from a young age like to hit the child, with language to hurt the child.
If your child can achieve "not to take things and not to be sad with herself", then your child can accept herself and receive happiness and satisfaction no matter what situation she is in in the future.
And Yoko Spicy and Ma Sichun are two typical representatives. Only children who are good at accepting themselves will have a strong sense of self-identity, and they will accept, respect and appreciate themselves and others in life and learning, and will bravely face setbacks and difficulties.
03, the third sign: do not suppress their emotions, do not please others, do things according to the heart
Parents do not want their children to be wronged, and they do not want their children to be wronged or say a word, and they suppress their emotions, because this is extremely detrimental to the psychological growth of children.
We hope that our children are sunny, cheerful, and live spontaneously, and the child's character development is directly related to the family environment, and it has a certain relationship with the interaction between parents and children.
When the child is crying, parents must not argue with the child: "What is crying?" No crying! ”
At the weekend in the supermarket I also met a mother who was scaring a 3-year-old boy, the little boy wanted a toy, the mother did not want to buy, so the little boy kept crying, did not dare to cry out loud, only to hear the mother scare him next to him:
"You cry again, cry again you here, I'm gone and I don't care about you!" Say this mom turned around and left.
Only to see this little boy pause, tearful eyes to chase after his mother, the small figure is extremely painful.
If the child does not dare to send out any emotions, he will only endure, then in the long run, the child will become inferior and dare not express his emotions.
On the contrary, children dare to cry out loud when they encounter grievances, and they will show their happiness or unhappiness, which is a sign of children's mental health.
04, the fourth sign: children like to play with their own children
Psychologist Piar believes that children's conflicts, negotiations and consultations in their interactions with their peers can promote the acquisition of social skills, and develop moral judgment skills to gain a broader understanding of society.
It can be seen that if the child is well-liked, he is more popular everywhere, whether it is in school or in the community, he can always play with people quickly, and others like to play with her, which shows that the child has strong social communication skills.
We should not underestimate the child's play, in fact, in the process of play, children can develop various abilities, such as children's communication skills, adaptability, comprehension ability and even empathy ability, which will be reflected in the child's play.
In the process of accompanying children to play, we will find that some children are angry at every turn, and if they play well with children, they will be angry and ignore others, or they will rob other people's things without reason, so that children are obviously a problem in family education.
05. Conclusion
In the process of educating their children, parents have poured a lot of time and effort, hoping that through their own efforts and cultivation, their children can be excellent, sunny and confident.
As children grow older, we all hope that we will always be the child's close partner, do not want to have a "generation gap" because of the child's growth, want to keep up with the pace of the child's growth, and want to give the child a hundred percent help on the road to the child's growth, then, parents must demand themselves in all directions and lead by example.
Parents should do a good job of role models, and the best love for parents for their children is to live themselves as a light to illuminate their children and be the guides of their children's hearts.
But sometimes parents pay so much, but they do not reap the expected returns, and even harvest the children's dissatisfaction and emotional rejection of their parents.
Therefore, in the process of raising children, as parents, we must often reflect, saying that parents are the best teachers of children, children are a mirror of family education, and children's problems are more problems of parental education.
I hope that every child can enjoy success and accept setbacks under the joint education of home and school; can know how to appreciate others and accept themselves.
The four signs mentioned above, what are the four signs that your child has?