After eating, seeing her mother bring out her favorite Sixi pills, Meng Meng was happy to go to help, frightening her mother into an excitement, and she refused in a busy voice: "Don't help you, you don't come over!" Beware of scalding! Meng Meng was a little puzzled, or walked over, but every time she took a step forward, her mother refused while retreating. Finally, Mom called Dad to drag Meng Meng away.
After eating, Meng Meng wanted to clip the balls herself, and her mother refused: "No! It's so hot, I'll clip it for you. Meng Meng was not happy and smashed her chopsticks heavily on the table. Mom nodded her head and said, "What's the hurry, it's not that you won't eat!" Mom is afraid you're hot! ”
Looking at the delicious balls in front of her, Meng Meng was excited to bite down, and her mother pulled her aside: "Hot! ”
At this point, Meng Meng didn't dry up at all, and she cried while crying: "Bad mother! While waving at his mother, he not only overturned the rice bowl, but also threw the soup into his mother's face, and the most important thing was that he really burned himself.
With Meng Meng crying loudly, the mother was really angry at this time, she lifted Meng Meng up, and slapped her ass with a few slaps, while hitting, she said: "Your child, the temper is really too big, you don't listen to it when you say it's hot!" You actually beat your mother! Why are you so disobedient? ”
I thought that with this lesson, Meng Meng would remember it. Who knows, at the next meal, Meng Meng became interested in the stewed chicken soup again, not only competing for the soup, but also insisting on scooping the soup himself. After being rejected, he cried and made trouble, and angrily beat people with small fists.
As a result, naturally, it is another lecture, another lesson.
The mother was very distressed: this is almost 3 years old, how can it still be so naughty and not obedient at all? Don't let her do it, or do it the opposite with your mother?
In fact, it is not cute and naughty, nor is it that she is disobedient. It is that the mother did not understand the characteristics of Meng Meng's expression of emotions, nor did she capture the emotional signals transmitted by Meng Meng in time, and did not guide Meng Meng's management of emotions and the expression of emotions in oral language in time.
So, what are the characteristics of 2-6 year old children in emotional expression?
Piaget's theory believes that 2-6 years old is an important period for children to explore the spirit and curiosity, and children in this period are more self-centered and full of curiosity.
Rich emotional experience and mismatched language expression ability lead to children's more choices to express emotions with actions when expressing emotions. As a result, the child will shout when he is happy, and when he is unhappy, he will drop things and lose his temper.
In contrast to children, adults will be more subtle and more euphemistic in expressing emotions because they have complete language expression ability that matches emotions.
If there is a lack of understanding of the emotional expression of children 2-6, parents will naturally identify their children's shouting as: not reserved, happy; children lose their temper and are said to be naughty, disobedient, and working against their families.
Understanding the characteristics of the child's expression of emotions, the next step is for parents to understand the child's emotions at this moment, and to be able to capture the child's emotional signals in time.
As far as Meng Meng wants to help serve vegetables and rush to eat vegetables, in fact, in the end, the family is not very happy, mainly because Meng Meng has no intuitive understanding of the concept of "hot", and her mother refuses again and again because she is worried that Meng Meng is burned, destroying Meng Meng's joyful mood.
Mom's kindness was interpreted by Meng Meng as: Mom didn't want me to help or let me eat, and she couldn't understand my urgent mood at all. Because of this, he lost his temper and smashed the chopsticks and knocked down the bowl. And her mother's spanking action deepened her firmness in this understanding and caused her greater dissatisfaction. A good meal ended in a noisy meal.
If mom can understand meng meng's emotions and capture her emotional signals in time, this meal must end happily.
Like what:
When she first refused to be cute, she let her know clearly: "Mom made delicious dishes, just let you eat!" "It's just that there is a worry about "hot", so wait a little.
In this way, you can avoid the series of things that follow. The most intuitive way for children to understand the concept of "hot" is actually to let children feel it, not really let her be burned.
At this time, the mother can patiently teach Meng Meng to stretch out a finger and touch the outer wall of the hot bowl, so that Meng Meng can understand her mother's pain.
As for the pills after their own, in fact, the child wants to try it, it is not a big deal, if you are really worried, you can give her a larger spoon, take good care of her, and do a good job of education in a timely manner: "Only when mom and dad are there, you can do it yourself, otherwise it is easy to be burned." "While saying that you can let the child touch the bowl again, deepen the impression."
With these two feelings, when the mother blocked Meng Meng for the third time, Meng Meng would not lose her temper. Because of the previous guidance, it can not only meet the needs of children in time, but also allow children to have an intuitive experience
However, the child will not be around all the time, for example, he wants to go to kindergarten, and he will have contact with other friends. Then, it is important to teach children to do a good job of emotional management and emotional expression.
First of all, use "I know" more often to create a sense of belonging.
Children have emotions, and the most important thing they want is that someone can understand. When it is found that the child has emotions, the first thing parents should do is not to reprimand, nor to suppress, but to look at the problem from the child's position. Remember, use "I know" more often, so that children can have a psychological sense of belonging: "Mom and I are together", on this basis, the child's resistance will be much weaker.
Second, try to help and guide expression.
Children's language skills have yet to be perfected, and some feelings cannot be accurately expressed. At this time, parents can try to help the child by asking questions, and guide him to express his feelings and thoughts, rather than being in a hurry.
Again, control your temper.
Some parents themselves are acute, one or two sentences can not be said clearly, they are angry. This is not the case: the child needs help, and if the person who helps is impatient, the child will only be more helpless and eventually make things worse.