Parents are eager to give their children the best things in the world.
The hit drama "Xiao Min Jia", who does not want a Li Ping after watching, wants to buy everything, wants stars and comes with a moon mother.
Even if you are such a meticulous parent, have you ever thought that one day you will "dump garbage" on your precious child?
Negative emotions that are not dealt with well are like "garbage" thrown away without sorting.
We often say that parents deal with emotions first and then deal with things.
That's because negative emotions that aren't handled well are a terrible existence.
It will incarnate into other behaviors and "make trouble" in your life from time to time.
When you are anxious, have you ever nagged your own children?
When you're angry, have you ever yelled at your own children?
When you are angry, have you ever scolded your own children?
Nagging and scolding children is actually a release of negative emotions from parents.
There is nothing inherently wrong with adult catharsis of negative emotions, but is the object of catharsis wrong?
Can a young child withstand the catharsis of your negative emotions?
Can the negative emotions he passively accept can be released, and how should they be released?
The moment you vent your emotions, your child has become your "trash can."
Children who receive negative emotions from their parents but do not react? It was more terrible than their crying
When you convey negative emotions to your child, the child's silence is sometimes more frightening than crying.
Negative emotions will not disappear for no reason, it can only be temporarily "hidden" by children, and the more they accumulate, they will erupt on a large scale.
Therefore, we will see on the news that children who are usually well-behaved and obedient suddenly run away from home; children who usually have excellent grades suddenly skip school.
Where there are so many sudden events, that is, the child's "hidden" negative emotions become rebellious and rebellious and released.
When you think about it, which parents are more likely to convey negative emotions to their children?
1. Overly disciplined, overly expectant, and treating the home as a continuation of school life
When home is no longer a warm haven, but the second battlefield of school life, parents will involuntarily assume the role of "teacher".
"Someone else's perfect child" always appears in your own home, when you start to compare, you convey anxiety to the child, and when you start nagging, you "successfully" lock the child's desire to talk.
2. Take the child as the center of gravity of life and overly intervene in the child's world
Although the child-centered family has love, but it worries about the child in every detail, what else does the child need to do? Just need to learn well?
The joy of life can only be found in life, and the child's life is full of the shadow of his parents, so he has to go to the game to find it, to find it in the outside world, to find it in people with completely different personalities.
When you begin to be disappointed, lost, and doubt your child, you "succeed" in locking the door of your child's heart.
3. There is no empathetic understanding, only condescending authority
Sometimes, parents' nagging, scolding, and punishment are nothing more than wanting to hear their own approval from their children's mouths, or to do what they ask for.
Parents give life to their children, but this does not mean that our attitude towards children is condescending.
Parents always talk to their children with a high posture, invisibly, "pushing" the children to their own opposites.
In the face of negative emotions, what should parents do?
1. Teaching by example is more important than words, changing yourself, starting with the correct release of negative emotions
If you think that your child is always procrastinating, you may wish to reflect on whether you set a bad example for your child earlier.
It is said that there is a small volcano in the heart of the child, and the parents are not.
When you are angry, don't rush to face your child, find a place to release the small volcano in your heart first.
The peaceful mood of parents is the greatest sense of security for children.
2. Put the focus of life on yourself and gradually withdraw from the child's small world
Only those who love themselves will love their children better.
Let the children experience the bittersweet and bittersweet in life on their own, and we will only be the one who supports them.
3. Listen to your child's voice and keep learning to update your ideas
The more you nag, the less the child talks.
The more meticulously you do it, the rougher the child thinks.
Learning to listen is the first step in loving our children.
The times are progressing, and parents must also keep pace with the times and learn for life.
"Education is a tree shaking a tree, a cloud pushing a cloud, a soul awakening another soul."
Be a positive and optimistic parent, and educate your children with a happy heart.