First, why do many parents always say that habits are important to their children, but they do not have a few good habits?
More than 2,500 years ago, the great educator Confucius, from his own teaching practice, deeply realized that less is natural, and habit becomes nature.
Two years and five hundred years later, the great educators Tao Xingzhi, Ye Shengtao and other masters, from their own teaching practice, also deeply realized that education is to cultivate good habits.
To this day, most parents know the importance of habits and basically whisper their children to their ears. But if you ask Chinese parents to sincerely ask themselves two questions: What are your own core good habits? Are you willing to guide and encourage your child to learn these good habits from you?
Heaven and earth conscience, at least ninety percent of the parents, with their fingers broken, can not say five, even if they say it together, they are not embarrassed to pass it all on to their children. Because the good habits they have made up are either too general to learn, or too unique to learn.
Why? Why do parents know that habits are important, but they can't do it themselves?
The core reason, I am afraid, is that the habits they know are important, they are seen from books, they are heard from others, rather than from their own life practice. I have not experienced it, I have not confirmed it, I just know it, and I don't believe it in my heart.
People, the actual cognition of the law, beyond their own body practice, most of the time, the so-called know is just a cloud of plausible, probably know, the principle is not clear, the effect is unknown.
In their view, the law of habit shaping people and habit determining personality is just a slogan, or even just chicken soup for the soul, saying that it is okay to talk to others, coaxing children can be, and they should not be true.
If they had really taken it seriously, and truly believed it, they would have done it a long time ago!
Second, parents should observe the power of habits as a prerequisite for doing a good job as a good coach for their children
Habits shape people, this truth, only those who practice it can truly understand, can they really be used, and they are eager to live in more good habits.
Parents who have the habit of getting up early, actually experience that it is good to get up early, and are willing to take their children to enjoy this good;
People with running habits, who have really experienced the good of running, are willing to take their children to enjoy this good;
People with reading habits, really experience the good of reading, willing to take their children to enjoy this good;
People who have the habit of jiejian have experienced the good of jiejian and are willing to take their children to live in jiejian.
Wait, wait, so many good habits are the same. Parents are selfless and willing to share all the beauty they have explored with their children.
Parents with many good habits, they have experienced the difficulty of cultivating good habits, they have experienced the beauty brought to themselves by good habits, and they also recognize the power of good habits, which is the capital, foundation and premise of doing a good job as a good coach for children.
Without this process of self-evidence, teaching children to develop good habits can only be abstract and talk.
Third, parents take the initiative to be their children's good practice coaches
For thousands of years, the great masters who have truly devoted themselves to education have clearly discovered this same law from their own teaching practice day after day, year after year, and stubble after stubble, and have really practiced this same law, truly confirming this same law, and this law is: habit shapes people!
These great, outstanding, outstanding educators, hardly miss any opportunity to advocate this truth, to promote this law, they say in the classroom, in the article, in the report, on various occasions, in various forms, bitter mouths are not afraid of people's troubles, in order to call on the world's parents, the world's teachers, do their duty to be children's good practice coaches.
As far as raising children is concerned, the core identity of parents is that of a good coach for children.
Parents should actively and actively be the child's good practice coach, wholeheartedly perform this responsibility, in the entire growth process of the child, continue to sell good habits to the child, guide and encourage the child to develop good habits, and teach the child to cultivate good habits by hand.
When the child grows up, he is deeply aware of his good habits and will be infinitely grateful to his parents!
That is a real lifelong wealth, never abandoned, loyal, always with the child. Nothing supports a child's journey toward self-love, self-reliance, and freedom and happiness than a good habit.
Fourth, guide children to feel the power of habits
Due to their young age and limited cognition, children cannot yet recognize how powerful the power of habits is, but parents should know that in the final analysis, habits shape people.
Habit cultivation, first core and then general, bit by bit accumulation, step by step, parents first explore and cultivate one or two specific core good habits on the child, constantly analyze the child to see, let the child experience the power of habits day by day, and slowly take good habits as friends.
Help children establish a treasure book of habits, let children count their good habits, from one good habit, to three good habits, to five good habits, to ten good habits, with more than ten years of time, gradually accumulate a good habit, including thinking habits, language habits and behavior habits.
Fifth, create a soft and hard environment for children to cultivate good habits
First, parents often lead by example and demonstrate personally.
The second is to buy equipment and appliances that children like, and mobilize children's interest and motivation to practice targeted habits.
The third is to encourage and encourage, continue to encourage, as soon as there is small progress, we will encourage in a timely manner, and never criticize and crack down.
Fourth, parents are tolerant enough, tolerate children to be lazy and practice less, tolerate children to cope with perfunctory, and have enough patience to inspire children, guide children, and convince children.
Fifth, children cannot be forced or forced to develop habits, as soon as parents are forced, the child will resist in his heart and will be reluctant, and the basic premise of cultivating habits is subjectively willing to do it. Forcing children to develop habits is purely a ghost, you only look at the many college graduates who have read books for fifteen or sixteen years, and a few have developed reading habits to understand.
The sixth is to set up a special award for good habits in the family, once a quarter, so that the child can be a judge, and the family members with the most good habits in each quarter are awarded and commended. In this way, it can stimulate the fun and motivation of children to develop good habits.
Sixth, coach children to cultivate universal habits
Universal habits are the habits that children basically need to cultivate in the process of growing up, shaping children's self-reliance, mainly including five categories.
First, the habit of caring for good health: such as washing feet before going to bed, going to bed early and getting up early, making up the bed, brushing your teeth and washing in the morning and evening, tidying up and cleaning your personal room, dressing neatly, washing your hands before and after meals, scientific diet, taking a nap at noon, exercising, taking a bath often, sitting posture, standing posture, walking posture, sleeping posture and so on.
The second is the habit of caring for mental health: such as reading, making lists, focusing, patience, tolerance, gratitude, sharing, active care, making friends, and so on.
The third is to cultivate children's good habits of money: such as money concepts, money acquisition, money management, money expenditure, bookkeeping analysis, and so on. Children can't live without money all their lives, and this kind of habit is very important, and it will be better to grasp it from an early age.
The fourth is to cultivate children's basic thinking habits: such as growth thinking, win-win thinking, divergent thinking, logical thinking, conditional thinking, quantitative thinking, on-site thinking, independent thinking, and so on.
The fifth is to cultivate children's basic language habits: such as speaking timbre, speaking volume, speaking speed and rhythm, speaking mantras and words, level and logic of speech, public expression, civilized language, polite language, and so on.
Seventh, targeted guidance for children to cultivate unique habits
The unique habits of children are based on the characteristics and preferences of children, either a good habit that children actively ask to cultivate, or some good habits that parents specifically recommend for children, such as painting, calligraphy, piano and chess, photography, writing, playing ball and so on.
Practice regularly, you will form habits, good habits, will pour out excellent skills and skills.
Many of the children's skills are practiced and are the results of actively cultivating good habits.
Eighth, attach importance to the construction of family style
Family style, to put it bluntly, is a good habit that parents and children are willing to practice.
Parents lead by example, encourage and guide children to actively follow up, build and create, civilized life, will make children feel that they have cultivated good habits, is to contribute to the family, have a sense of value, and have a sense of belonging.
9. Use the seven-step practice exercises, practice and practice again
How do parents do a good job of coaching their children's good habits, the essence is how parents develop good habits of cultivating their children's habits? It's a skill that's been practiced!
Specifically how to practice, use the seven steps to practice the exercises.