01
After reading a passage by Teacher Luo Xiang, he said:
"Now people let their feelings flood, when emotions strike, they get married, and when emotions disappear, they divorce, and this kind of love is often a kind of narcissism." In order to find love, many people explore among different lovers, and eventually feel that they are becoming more and more lonely, because narcissistic love can never last.
No one person can achieve all your assumptions about him, a lovely person, everyone will love her, but when she is no longer as cute as before, you still love her, and you are willing to discover her cuteness, then this is true love, and to do this, you must have a tolerant heart. ”
Deeply.
We long for love, we pursue love, but if we can't even understand what love is, then what exactly do we crave? What exactly is it that is being pursued?
True love is not the flood of feelings, it is a blessing, it is happiness, it is a responsibility.
So we can only feel happiness and happiness in love and being loved, not to love for happiness and happiness, then the happiness we get must be short-lived, and with it comes pain.
In other words, the pursuit of happiness away from responsibility necessarily brings pain. However, people nowadays are often pursuing something that has no depth, and they have lost the ability to love others and have become only loving themselves.
If love is an emotional instinct, then instinct alone cannot get happiness from love, and you must know love and love. Seeing one love one, falling in love with one, crazy to love, never understanding restraint, then do you feel that love that does not understand restraint, or love? Rather, it's the instinct of animals, nothing more.
02
I saw a post on the Internet asking: After getting married, I met someone I liked more, should I get a divorce?
Suppose that your like is a real like, and what you call love is real love, then I tell you, after we get married, we will continue to meet people we like more, without exception. This means that in the course of our marriage, such emotions will not be held only once.
Therefore, loyalty is not a human instinct, but a choice made in the end.
If you meet someone you like more, and are in pain, conflict, and entanglement, your partner may encounter the same situation earlier than you and finally make a loyal choice.
Also, if you always let your emotions flood, or indulge your instincts, like the new and dislike the old, regardless of it, then in the rest of your life, basically do not have to do anything, because the constant change of partners is enough for you to be busy.
This is only the case of real love, real liking, the so-called true love is just your delusion, such a situation is probably more.
You see, it is not easy to be white-headed and old, this life has to go through countless tests, or only emotional and instinctive tests, a wrong choice, the previous efforts will be in vain.
What is true love just your own delusion? There are two situations, one of which is that you are only involved in the romantic part of each other's lives, not in the life part of each other's lives, which gives you the feeling of being very beautiful, romantic, and interesting, and thus gives rise to the illusion of true love.
Second, you do not really understand and are familiar with each other, so you only see each other's advantages, and then generalize and expand through personal subjective inferences to form a complete and complete impression, as for each other's shortcomings, they are all hidden behind the aura.
For example, if you meet a woman who looks like a fairy, and her beauty really makes you feel moved and admired, but there is no real understanding between you, then you will make a comprehensive conclusion about her according to her beauty, that is, to grasp the smallest amount of information, and feel that she must be as beautiful as beauty elsewhere.
You have imagined a perfect her, and who can refuse such a perfect woman? So you're definitely going to fall in love with each other, but in reality, everything is an illusion.
03
In fact, the answer is already obvious, even if you are sure that your emotions are not blind, nor is it an illusion, or you have to restrain your emotions, make a loyal choice, don't let your eyes always stare at the shortcomings of your partner, when you can try to magnify your partner's strengths, you will see fewer shortcomings.
Even if you choose the person you like more, doesn't he have any shortcomings in him that you need to endure? There must be, now you are only spiritually dependent on a long distance, and when you start to make close contact, the nature is the same.
Not to mention what will be regretted, will regret, because you are not qualified, as heard a saying:
"Married people are not entitled to regret it, because the marriage is your own marriage, don't let others pretend to be wronged." Falling in love with a married person has no identity to talk about love, because love is not above the premise of hurting another unsuspecting person. ”
If you don't care and feel that even if your head is broken and bleeding, then you are not really loving each other, because such love has become wild, it has become wanton, just to satisfy your own selfish desires. That is, your madness, actually just for your own madness, is just loving your own madness.
Especially when you know very well that if you choose, then this love may fulfill you, but at the same time it will hurt each other's partners and destroy each other's families.
So, if you choose divorce and run to another person, there seems nothing wrong with it, and there is nothing wrong with choosing someone you like better. But it is not so, all the choices are only the choices of your own desires, the choices of obsession, the choices of narcissism, and there is no love.
True love is not only a kind of warmth, but also a heavy responsibility, to escape and shirk their responsibilities, to pursue what is called happiness and happiness, in the end, just for their own selfishness, found a good name. Being careful with such a choice can bring real disaster and pain to your life.
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