Text/Ye Feifei yff
Figure/Originated from the network
I am Ye Feifei yff, a non-famous emotional teacher, writing emotional texts that take the heart, hoping to use warm words to bring you some spiritual comfort.
After a woman marries, whether she can be in the position of her in-laws' family, in addition to her husband, more decisive factors lie in herself.
If you have a husband who hurts you and spoils you, you will be very dignified in your in-laws' family, if you do not have the love of your husband, you will lose your due status, just like an outsider, and you will be wronged.
Therefore, no matter what kind of attitude a man has, women must know how to think for themselves, and if they want to get the respect of their in-laws, the key is to see if you have "great" points.
Everyone wants to harvest a happy marriage, but the reality is very bone, women do not overestimate men too much, it is best to make themselves strong.
Many times, women have no status in the in-laws' families, and they are looked down upon by their mother-in-law, which is nothing more than that they are not strong enough and have no capital and confidence that they should have.
Those women who are highly regarded in their in-laws' homes and live like fish in the water basically have their own strengths and can fully support their dignity.
Therefore, after marriage, the more "powerful" women are, the less likely they are to suffer losses in their in-laws' families, and they often have three "powerful" points:
First, economic independence, have enough ability to live
"Not Easy to Live" wrote: "Who will take care of who for a lifetime, that is a heavy burden." So you have to be self-reliant. ”
An economically independent woman can truly have her own capital and confidence, and at any time, she will not be looked down upon by others.
Therefore, after marriage, women are best to maintain financial independence, and only by holding the money in their own hands is your real sense of security.
You need to have your own job, have your own source of income, don't have to reach out to men for money, that's your dignity.
If you want to be looked up to by your in-laws, women can't be full-time wives, and once you lose your financial resources, even if you can run the family again, you can't get the respect of your in-laws.
Those women who do not suffer losses in their in-laws' families are nothing more than having their own economic foundation, having enough ability to live, and being able to be independent and autonomous, which is your strength.
Before the neighbor Ms. Wang and her husband got married, they had decent jobs and their salaries were not low. However, after getting married, her husband asked her to resign, hoping that she would manage the family and have children as soon as possible.
Ms. Wang felt that her husband hurt her very much, so she didn't think much about it, and became a housewife at home, taking care of a large family wholeheartedly.
Because there is no income, she has to find her husband every month to ask for money, especially after giving birth, the family's expenses are very large, and she spends every sum of money she gets quickly.
After a long time, her husband began to get impatient, questioning her, giving her five or six thousand yuan a month, how can it be used up so quickly?
Although Ms. Wang explained the consumption situation very clearly, her husband did not think so, and always felt that she spent money indiscriminately.
For this reason, the two people often have conflicts, and the mother-in-law on the side also helps her son speak, thinking that she will not run the family, and the words inside and outside are counting her not, which makes her feel cold, but she can only go against the grain.
Therefore, after marriage, women must not trust men's "I raise you", which is particularly unrealistic, you must have your own ability, and enough capital to live.
Only when you are economically independent can you live with dignity and do not have to look at the face of your in-laws, so that you will not suffer losses in your in-laws' homes.
Second, have your own principles, do not allow your in-laws to touch your bottom line
After marriage, women must have their own principles, and must not be a "soft persimmon" for others to pinch.
If you lose your principles, anyone can bully you, not only will you suffer losses in your in-laws' house, but your life will also be very painful.
Therefore, when you face the malicious difficulties of your in-laws, you cannot be silent, but dare to fight, resolutely show your bottom line, and express your opinions.
You can be kind or good-talkative, but you can't tolerate encountering injustice, and if you know that your in-laws are unreasonable, you still go against the grain, set limits for yourself, and ultimately get no respect.
Those women who do not suffer losses in their in-laws' families are all sharp, even if they are kind, they have their own principles and bottom lines.
The kindness of women cannot be reduced to weakness and deception, and if you want to live with dignity and status, you must have firm principles and maintain your self-esteem at all times.
After the marriage of her friend Miss Xu and her husband, in the face of the mother-in-law's deliberate difficulties, she was always patient before, and she always felt that the mother-in-law was older and should let go.
However, after many years of marriage, the mother-in-law did not change at all, but the older she got, the more unreasonable she became. Either she can't do housework, or she comes back too late, and deliberately dumps the food she made, saying it is not appetizing.
Moreover, whenever Miss Xu and her husband happened, the mother-in-law never asked for a reason, came and counted her down, and did not regard her as her own family at all.
When she met her sister or other relatives to borrow money, the mother-in-law always made her own opinions, let her husband lend the money out, and never asked Miss Xu's opinion.
There are too many similar things, and finally Miss Xu realizes that her kindness is the booster for her mother-in-law to advance.
As a result, Miss Xu began to adhere to the principle, anything that touched her bottom line, she will definitely argue according to reason, no longer silent, after repeated struggles, but gradually gained respect.
Therefore, for women after marriage, they must have their own principles, stick to their own bottom line, silence can not be exchanged for respect, but use anger to maintain their boundaries, but the other party does not dare to ignore you.
Third, have their own pursuits and become noble
Women, at all times, must have their own pursuits, do not get married, define themselves as housewives, and become "tools" for washing and cooking with children.
If you have no value in yourself, in the eyes of your in-laws, you are very cheap. Because, a tool, can be replaced at any time.
On the contrary, you become noble, have your own pursuits, have an independent personality, and their thinking and vision are no worse than men's, and who can ignore you?
Because, at this time, you are already very expensive and valuable, and no one can easily replace you.
Therefore, it is best for women not to "draw the ground as a prison", even if you are married, you have to go out, have your own job, have your own career, better than anything.
In fact, a woman's real sense of security can only be given by herself, and others cannot give it at all.
Men love you again, will not tolerate your ordinariness for a lifetime, if you credulously believe the man's love words, thinking that he will take care of you for a lifetime, the final result may disappoint you.
Why do women who do not suffer losses in their in-laws' homes get better and better, and are held in the hands of their in-laws? It is nothing more than that they are very valuable, too expensive, so expensive that the in-laws do not dare to offend.
For example, a wife with a decent job and a monthly income of 10,000 yuan must have a high status in the in-laws' family, and if the husband and wife quarrel, the mother-in-law will definitely scold her son for not being angry.
On the contrary, a wife with a monthly income of zero, in addition to doing housework, will not do anything else, basically in the in-laws have no status, when the husband and wife quarrel, the mother-in-law even if she helps her son, she also feels taken for granted.
Therefore, after marriage, women must have their own pursuits, no matter whether your work is good or bad, your career is good or bad, you can create value, you will become noble, get the approval of your in-laws.
A woman goes out to make money, not to survive, but to become noble, to have dignity, and hope that women understand this truth.
Ye Feifei yff emotional message:
In the end, women after marriage still have to know how to love themselves, you first become yourself, then the wife, the daughter-in-law, don't lose yourself for marriage.
As Tian Ge said: "A woman can grow old in the years, and must not wither in marriage." ”
To sum up, women who do not suffer losses in their in-laws' families often have these three "powerful" points, which are very realistic.
Be financially independent and have enough ability to live; have your own principles and not allow your in-laws to touch your bottom line; have your own pursuits and become noble.
Women who can do this believe that the in-laws do not dare to be sloppy, and will be happier and happier.
END
Author: Ye Feifei yff, focus on the field of emotion creation and sharing, with emotions to communicate with you and my heart, but I hope you and I know each other here, like please pay attention to me.