01
Daughter-in-law Lily is getting closer and closer to the due date, and my heart is getting more and more anxious.
Last weekend, I went to the nursery to buy something, and there was still a month before Lily's due date, and the delivery bag should be prepared in advance.
Just when I was struggling with which one to choose for the diaper brand, my son called me and said that he would come back for dinner in the evening.
There was a burst of joy in my heart, this stinky boy, for more than a month, finally remembered my mother. I also can't care about the brand, I took a bag with me, and used it to see it first.
For dinner, I specially prepared a few special dishes, sour, sweet and spicy flavors, I was afraid that Lily would not be accustomed to eating.
During the meal, Lily was silent, and her son bowed his head to eat, and the meal was like eating in an ice cellar. In order to ease the atmosphere, I told Lily that when the delivery bag was ready, she would wait to see what was missing. Lily said yes perfunctorily.
I made excuses, pulled my son aside, and asked him if he had a fight with Lily. The son shook his head, still refusing to make a sound. I was in a hurry, and then I asked, what the hell is going on? My son told me that Lily's mother was sick and hospitalized, but it was not a serious illness, or she could not work.
I breathed a sigh of relief and told my son, "It's okay, your mother-in-law is not in good health, you should take more care." ”
But my son's next words made me unhappy. He said he would ask me to resign and serve Lily Confinement.
I didn't answer the phone, originally said yes, Lily's mother did not work, she took care of Lily Yuezi. The mother was waiting in front of her, and Lily was also comfortable, which was conducive to postpartum recovery.
But now Lily's mother was suddenly sick and couldn't take the child, and the task suddenly fell on me. What am I going to do?
02
Do you really want me to resign? I don't want to live the days of reaching out to people for money anymore.
In the early years, I had just given birth to my son, and I thought of letting my mother-in-law take the child, but she found various reasons not to take the child. My husband said that if my mother-in-law couldn't bring it, I would let me bring it myself, and anyway, I couldn't make a few dollars, and it was a big deal for him to raise me.
Without a job, there is no financial resources, and the husband has to ask for every penny. At first, my husband still gave it to me, and then it became more and more difficult to ask for money. Every time before giving money, he had to look at my breakdown of the cost, and if the meat was expensive one day, he would nag for half a day.
The most impressive one, that year I had a birthday, fried two more dishes, my husband sneered: "You don't make money, what qualifications do you have for your birthday?" ”
I shed tears of grievance, and in a fit of anger, I wanted to leave the stall to find a job, and I thought that my son had no one to take care of, so I had to endure.
Later, my son lived in junior high school, enrolled on the first day, and I came out the next day to look for a job. No matter what kind of work, just give money. After working for less than two years, my mother-in-law suffered a cerebral infarction and was paralyzed in bed, and I resigned at home to take care of her death.
Even if I take care of my mother-in-law and ask my husband for money, I am exhausted, and I have had enough of such a life. So I made up my mind that no matter when I came, I must make money on my own.
I just signed a three-year contract with my boss last year, because I have good craftsmanship and am willing to suffer hardships, and my boss said that if I worked for these three years, he would give me a 50,000 bonus. If you resign now, you will have to pay a penalty.
This boss is my nobleman, and it was she who saw that I was good at pastry and pointed me out this clear road, otherwise I am afraid that I would still be a waiter. Now she is short of people here, let me stay and help, I am not good to refuse.
But now my son wants me to resign, how can I be good?
03
My heart was very confused, perfunctory son: "Lily still has more than a month to give birth, not in a hurry, when the time comes." ”
During my lunch break, I asked my colleagues for advice, they were all more than fifty mothers-in-law, more experienced than me. After some exchanges, I probably had a number in mind.
In the evening, I deliberately went over to my son and daughter-in-law and said, "Now the concept of parenting is different, and when we were back then, our children could not eat and drink and be injured." Now raising children is not the same, pay attention to scientific parenting, massage every day, confinement meal to pay attention to recipes, I really can't do it. No, let's find a sister-in-law, that is, professional and worry-free. ”
The son looked at his daughter-in-law and did not speak. Li Li couldn't help herself: "Can't you spend money to find a sister-in-law, an ordinary sister-in-law will cost at least five or six thousand." Zheng Wei's little salary is only enough for daily expenses, where do we have money? ”
I gritted my teeth and promised the money I gave to my sister-in-law, isn't it a month's salary, as long as I don't resign, how to say.
Even if I have a sister-in-law to serve, I will run to my son's house after work to see if there is anything I can do to help, and if I can't have a sister-in-law, everything will be fine.
I have to say that the sister-in-law is professional, and a set of touch exercises can make me stunned. As far as my hand is concerned, the skin is rough for many years of work, wearing sweaters in winter, scraping thread, how to do it for the baby?
When the baby was more than two months old, Lily took the baby to my house. I looked at the little grandson, my heart was also warm, the little guy was white and tender, very cute.
Lily hit the iron while it was hot: "Mom, you see how much the baby likes you, my maternity leave will end soon, you see when to resign, and the baby to cultivate a relationship?" ”
The word resignation, like a basin of cold water poured down from the top of my head, made me instantly awake.
04
I looked at Lily and smiled and said, "Experts have said that before the baby is three years old, the company of parents is the most important." You tell me? ”
Lily glanced at her son and turned and went into the bedroom.
The son hurriedly said, "Mom, isn't Lily going to work?" Don't you know how hard it is to find a job now, and what kind of job can Lily find if she is at home with three years of children? Besides, Lily doesn't make money, the income of the whole family is pressed on me, are you going to exhaust your son? ”
I said, then, if that's the case, find a babysitter. If you think it costs too much, I can give you half of the cost, so it will work.
Lily ran out of the bedroom: "How can I be assured of finding a babysitter?" You also don't look at, now reported, how many nannies have black hearts? Are you sure to give your baby to them to bring? ”
I was a little angry: "If you don't feel safe, bring it yourself." If you feel the financial pressure, Lily earns three thousand a month, I will give you three thousand, this is always OK. ”
I backed down again, and Lily angrily carried the baby away. When my son looked at it, he also followed the fart upside down.
I thought it was settled and went to work with peace of mind. Two days later, Lily called me and asked me to come over to dinner.
I stopped by after work to buy something, and when I entered the door, I found that Lily's mother was also there, and I greeted her for half a day.
Halfway through the meal, Lily's mother began to speak, the first half of the article is nonsense, and the second half is the main topic. The meaning is nothing more than that the son and Lily are still young, they are both playing children, they don't know how to raise children, and they are still mainly career-oriented. We do the elderly, the help should help the lining, do not let the young people go back to our previous old path.
Lily's mother's words reminded me of those days when it was really bitter to take a child alone. I am a little moved in my heart, children are treasures in the hands of parents, and when they encounter difficulties, they should reach out and help.
The balance in my heart slowly tilted, and just when I was about to say yes, I suddenly realized that something was wrong, and directly snapped my chopsticks: "Knowing that I am young, why do I want to have children so early?" Didn't I warn me at the beginning, but now tell me this? ”
05
Listening to my words, the three people at the table did not look good.
Lily and her son, who are only 24 years old this year, are in love at university and have been arguing about getting married as soon as they graduate. To be honest, I think it is a little early, just graduated and have not yet integrated into society, everything is not determined, so early to get married, is it too anxious?
But young people insist that they like it, and we who are elders are not good enough to oppose it. Especially when I am still the father's parent, it is always difficult for people to think that their son is an irresponsible person.
My husband died unexpectedly in my son's sophomore year, but fortunately he had some money in his hand, so I used this money to mortgage my son's house and give them a wedding.
I said angrily, "When I got married, what did I tell you?" You are still young, fight for your career first, and your children are not in a hurry in advance. When the career is stable, it is not too late to have children. ”
Young people can't trap their children for a lifetime. I was just over 20 years old and got married, 21 had a son, and since then all the focus of my life has been on my son, and I don't have any space for myself. I don't want Lily to go my old ways.
Again, I promised the boss to help her top for three more years, and after three years, Lily was willing to have a child, and I naturally would not shirk it.
Lily said embarrassedly, "I know this, but it's not an accident." It's not easy to beat it, how is it a small life. ”
The son also pleaded from the side: "Mom, we really didn't mean it, you can help us." You can't bear to look at our youth, all spent on children. ”
I couldn't help but sigh, there are always so many accidents in the world. Obviously, they had planned the road for them, but they were uneasy about following the rules. My son is right, how can I ignore them?
Compared with my son's work of six thousand a month, I can still distinguish between the light and the heavy.
Once again, I made concessions, promised them, and resigned with the children.
The owner was kind, knew my situation, did not let me compensate for liquidated damages, and paid me an extra month's salary, and finally I insisted on not asking for it. Originally, I defaulted first, how to mean more to pay.
After I resigned, I moved in with my son. I thought I agreed to have children, that there would be no family conflicts, and that I would be able to live in peace.
Unexpectedly, the facts are not satisfactory.
06
I'm not even as good as a nanny. My son's home is a two-bedroom and a living room, and it is reasonable to say that they live in one room and I live in one, which is enough.
But they changed the other room into an e-sports room, and when they came back from work at night, the two of them played games in the e-sports room, and when the child was breastfeeding, I hugged her and let her breastfeed.
Sometimes, they play until the middle of the night, and I fall asleep in the master bedroom with my baby in my arms. Lily would be upset, she didn't say anything, but her face was very ugly.
I had to go to sleep on the couch, and after one night I slept, my back hurt. It's not as comfortable as I sleep in my own house, but they don't sleep regularly, and I can't go back to sleep at night.
The two don't do anything, I can't say Lily, I have to talk about my son. As soon as my son wanted to help me, he was called over by Lily, saying that there was a mountain that could not be attacked, and asked him to hurry over to help.
I could only leave the baby in the car and drag him no matter what I did. They don't even give it to the family, and I've been using my own money to buy vegetables and cook. Asked my son, he asked me to look for Lily, lily just can't hear. Later, I learned that they really had no money in their hands.
The days were so depressing that I had to comfort myself that when the baby was weaned, I could take it back to me. But before I could get to the baby's weaning, I fell ill.
At noon that day, I got up and was about to change My diapers for Xiaobao when I suddenly felt a dizziness and woke up again in the hospital. The doctor said it was due to overwork and needed to recuperate for a while.
The two little ones were in a hurry, and Lily asked the doctor anxiously, how long will it take to recover? The doctor said that depending on the personal situation, a fast week, a slow half a month or even a month are possible.
Lily said with tears: "It takes so long, who will take care of XiaoBao?" ”
I was also anxious that XiaoBao had no one to take care of, but I had a weak heart. At this time lying on the hospital bed, I felt that the roof was spinning in circles, I couldn't get up at all, and my head hurt badly.
Lily thought of her mother first, but her mother was not in good health, and now she really had no backup, and she was in a hurry to stomp her feet in the ward.
07
I took a drip in the hospital for seven days, and the doctor saw that the situation was stable and said that he could be discharged from the hospital, and the drip could go to the outpatient clinic. My son used to pay the fee, and I waited next to it, and after waiting for half a day, he ran over. I thought it was done, but he came to ask for money.
I went over to pay the fee with him, and I heard the toll collector whisper: Such a big person, he doesn't even have a thousand in his hand, and he still has to ask his mother for it, it's a shame.
My son's face was like a sauce pig's trotter, and I just didn't see it.
After I was discharged from the hospital, I found that there was a small bed in the e-sports room, and Lily said while making the bed: "The time is a bit rushed, you will first take a moment, wait for a while, and then change to a better bed." ”
I coughed badly in the middle of the night, Lily brought me a bowl of rock sugar Sydney soup, I was a little surprised, Lily said somewhat awkwardly: "People say that drinking this can stop coughing, I just stewed, you try." ”
This was the first time Lily had served me, and my excited hands were shaking, and the bowl could not be held. When Lily saw this, she thought I was very sick and took a spoon and fed me a drink. I looked at her gratefully, and she said awkwardly, "Don't think about it, I just want you to get better quickly and take care of the children." ”
Under the meticulous care of the little two, my illness quickly improved. After recovering from my illness, I took over the child again.
In fact, my illness was not so serious, mainly because I did not rest well during that time, and I was in a depressed mood, so I fell ill.
During the time I was hospitalized, Lily took leave to take care of the children, and my son was responsible for bringing me food and doing housework. In addition to the busy hands and various complaints in the first few days, they had a clear division of labor and went a lot smoother.
After being discharged from the hospital, I can feel that they are taking good care of me, although the words are to make me get better early and take care of the children, but the action is not sluggish, in the end it is also a kind of growth. So I calmly pretended to be sick for a few more days, so that they would also know that I was not easy.
As it turned out, the results were not bad, and they already knew that I had a hard time taking care of my children and knew how to be considerate of others.
After I recovered from my illness, they no longer worked as a treasurer, and when they returned home, they would help me build a handle. Lily and her son stopped playing games all day, and began to think about how to make more money, and they were no longer extravagant in spending money, and even the e-sports house was demolished.
I, too, have also begun to learn to show weakness. Some things, if they can handle themselves, throw them away.
These two of them, from childhood, were hurt like babies by their parents, and they were not willing to let them do anything. But I know that they are not bad by nature, but they have not experienced anything, they have not grown up.
Sometimes, we say more than they can experience it once.
As parents, we can't do everything in a big way, we must learn to let go appropriately and give our children a chance to grow. That way they can grow up.