Hello everyone, this is Lao Yu.
Some time ago, I brushed up on a post that was a mother's plea for help.
The story of the matter is probably like this, after the owner's family moved to a new house, the better lighting room was given to the sister, and the result was that the sister was not happy, and smashed many things in the sister's room in one breath, and also shredded the sister's books.
Her parents didn't beat her either, because when her mother knew, the reason her sister was angry was that she felt that her parents were eccentric.
How can the three bedrooms in the home be evenly distributed? In the end, she had no choice but to post for help.
Finally, the owner also added the situation at home, the age difference between the sisters is 2 years old, but the sister usually lives in school, the sister stays at home with her parents more, the sister's personality is stronger, and the host believes that she usually gets along with the two children without being too eccentric.
After reading this post, Lao Yu only wanted to first shallowly doubt, does this mother really have a "bowl of water flat" like her self-complaint?
After all, in our view, the sister's behavior is to have no fear, far beyond the scope of temper playing.
If she does not get the explanation of her parents and the apology of her sister, will her sister have self-doubt and is she not worthy of living in a house with good lighting? Is it that you don't deserve the attention of your parents?
Lao Yu thought that if he sat down to communicate at the beginning when allocating the room, instead of thinking "I think this house should be given to her", maybe the family could still reach an agreement.
Dealing with eccentricity in families with many children is indeed a difficult problem.
I've seen news that is more extreme than dropping things before.
The girl and her parents had an argument and chose to call the police in desperation.
Because her parents instilled in her the concept that having a brother was for her, but every time there was a conflict with her brother, her parents would only blame themselves, and even slapped her 5 times.
In fact, there are similar problems in one-child families.
Lao Yu was an only child in the 90s, the eldest of his peers, and when his cousin was born, Lao Yu's childhood seemed to have a lot of unhappy things.
For example, the oil painting stick that Lao Yu loved to use when he was a child would be given to his cousin by his mother without permission; Lao Yu and his cousin had a dispute, and the elders of the family always accused me of being a sister but did not let my sister.
Such things happen from time to time, which makes the old Yu at that time can't help but think: Why are adults partial to cousins? Just because my cousin is younger than me?
Even if the old yu is old and old now, he often thinks back to the past, and his heart is still a little sad.
Emotions that have been ignored by parents accumulate and explode, and it is easy to commit extreme behavior.
And the psychological trauma brought about by this feeling of "not being favored" from childhood will make children become sensitive and suspicious in the process of growing up, "Why am I the one who is not liked" and "Is it that I am not good enough", because even the closest parents do not value themselves, so it is difficult to believe that others will love me unconditionally.
The child who is not favored will chill, the more alienated from the parents, and the more selfish the child who is favored will become more and more selfish.
Just like the sister at the beginning, if she has a disturbance, she can change to her favorite room, and such a "privilege" will only make her more unscrupulous.
Anyway, her parents will forgive her, they will let her because she is young, and someone will always give her a bottom at home.
But when she grows up and works, she will find that this society will not favor herself, and she will subconsciously hide back in her comfort zone and squeeze out her family when it is difficult for her to adapt to the social environment.
All the favoritism and spoiling finally scrapped a good baby, which is not worth the loss.
Children who grow up in such a family environment are pitiful to be eccentric and unbiased.
Of course, no one is perfect, and there are no parents who are absolutely perfect.
Even if we try to divide it equally, some unconscious actions may also touch the sensitive heart of the child, such as the two pieces of meat on the plate, I first married a younger brother, and then clipped to the sister, or a joking taunt that "the sister looked better than the sister when she was a child."
So the most important thing is our attitude, let the child know that parents will not care about themselves because they have one more child. Just as Fu Seoul told her story, after the mother reorganized the family, the mother and stepfather planned to have another child, and after asking her opinion and getting Fu Seoul's consent, the two wanted children.
There are many ways to express love, as long as he can give the child enough security and belonging, he will not resent the love of his parents being taken away, nor will he be afraid of one more person to share love.
Do you think you can level a bowl of water?
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