The opening of the two-child policy can be said to make many parents ready to "'hug' a baby back again, after all, I saw many people shooting videos and photos of their second-child babies, and they were also itchy to add another member to the family.
However, to add a member to the family is not as simple as raising kittens and puppies, and some people cannot go smoothly because of the relationship that family members do not agree with.
Case:
Xiao Zhang already had a five-year-old child, but with the opening of the two-child policy, he became interested in the matter of having a baby, and wanted to go home and talk to his daughter-in-law about the baby. However, what made Xiao Zhang feel chagrin, the daughter-in-law did not seem to agree.
However, Xiao Zhang is an acute child, and he can't hide things in his heart, plus his daughter-in-law also thought that Xiao Zhang was joking at first, so this matter did not take care of him, so xiao Zhang directly called and asked her daughter-in-law why she did not agree to have another baby.
At this time, the daughter-in-law helplessly said that the age span between the children is a little large, which may have an impact on the big baby. If you rush to have a baby, what if it causes psychological deviations to the child at that time? The daughter-in-law's words also woke up Xiao Zhang, and she just thought about how to add a member to the family, forgetting her own mood of the big baby.
However, for many parents in life, it is not like Xiao Zhang and his wife who will take care of the mood of the big baby, and directly add a member to the family without the consent of the big baby, so that the big baby and the second baby have not gotten along well.
Therefore, when the family wants a second child, what preparations need to be made?
First: first confirm the "'' changes' that may occur in Dawa"
Many parents have always felt that Dawa is their own child, so they must obey their own arrangements, no matter what kind of members they add or have a second child, they have no right to ask questions. However, such thinking is easy for children to be hurt, especially children with sensitive hearts, and they also attach great importance to this kind of thing.
For example, children will think that their parents do not want themselves, so they target the second child everywhere, and then the relationship between the two treasures in the family will gradually deteriorate, and even lead to the relationship between the big treasure and the parents becoming worse and worse.
Second: Communicate with Dabao as much as possible
In fact, children are not difficult to persuade, they just want to be safe, if the parents let him know that the parents are still the same after the birth of the second treasure, so that the big treasure will be more willing to see the arrival of the second treasure, and will also take the initiative to help take care of the second treasure.
In addition, parents can also promote the relationship between the two treasures through some small ways, so as to avoid brothers and sisters from becoming intolerable because they cannot accommodate each other.
What can parents do?
1) Let the big treasure bring two treasures
If Dabao participates in the work of Erbao's ""baby", he will also be curious about this newborn little life, and in the process, he can gradually establish a good feeling, and then his parents can rest assured of their relationship.
2) Embrace Dabao
Parents can usually hug Dabao more, let him know that parents treat him equally, not because they gave birth to the second treasure do not want him, in such a warm embrace, dabao can also slowly calm the inner dissatisfaction, face and accept the birth of the second treasure.
The above several methods can help make the relationship between the two treasures better, but parents should also know how many years of age difference between the two children is the most appropriate? If it is this number, it is good for both parents and children.
Are different age differences good for parents and children?
In fact, each age difference has advantages and disadvantages, parents can rationally determine the impact of each stage on the child, and then assess when their family is suitable for the second child.
Under 4 years of age:
Children under the age of four are better able to become playmates and can face difficult problems hand in hand by helping each other, and the chances of mothers returning to the workplace are greater because the cycle of raising babies is not very long.
However, when the baby is still young, the energy and financial resources that parents have to pay will be more, and the pressure on the body will be relatively large, and it may also lead to the neglect of the treasure and dissatisfaction with the treasure and the parents.
Over 4 years old:
Over four years old is relatively difficult for a family, because dabao and erbao are not in the same age group, and it is easy to raise them separately. However, the greater the age difference, when it is almost seven years old, you can ask Dabao to help bring down the child.
However, there will still be cases where Dabao is ignored, so no matter what the age difference, parents should not ignore the impact on Dabao.
On the whole, the age difference between dabao is best within four years old, because this age difference allows parents to take two children in one go without separating their stage children.
But in fact, no matter which one, it will increase the burden on the family, so if you want to have a second child, you should consider the family's situation and the acceptance of the treasure, so that it can be beneficial to both parents and children.
【Transferred from: Sohu Original — Haitao Daddy Parenting 】