When they were young, most of the playmates were taken care of by their respective ancestors, generally unpaid, of course, not the parents were a dime, and usually more or less filial piety than the original, especially the daughter. It's just that very few people hire parents directly to take care of their children in the form of pay.
In the past, in the homes of people with many brothers and sisters, it was difficult for parents to have a bowl of water. The son of the big environment is his own person, and the daughter will marry out sooner or later, and she is an outsider. By extension, the grandson is his own person, and the grandson is an outsider.
Many people say that it is right to bring grandchildren, that it is necessary to bring grandchildren, and that daughters should find in-laws to bring children, which is their true idea. Men who grew up in such families will also have this kind of thinking, if parents help their sisters with children for free, they will suffer losses. If the daughter wants her parents to help her bring her children, the money is indispensable, and it is normal to see the faces of her parents and brothers.
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Parents who rely on their children for old age are afraid of offending their children, especially their sons. They do not dare to refuse to bring their grandchildren, let alone only give one belt or not to another; eccentric parents who do not rely on their children for the elderly dare not refuse the demands of their favored children; parents who prefer sons and daughters, whether they rely on their children for the elderly or not, most of them dare not refuse their sons, but dare to reject their daughters.
If parents promise to take care of their grandchildren after receiving a commission from their children (usually their daughters), then there is a high probability that they do not want to take care of them. They usually make an excuse when their children ask, such as poor health, lack of time and energy, fear that other children will not be happy, and so on.
Wait until the children offer to pay the commission, since they have money to take, and then find an excuse to get rid of it, so they "reluctantly accept it".
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They will not take the initiative to say that they will take the initiative to take the initiative to collect commissions for their children, and when they can't hide it, they will say that they use their grandchildren. Other children will not say anything if they feel that they will not suffer losses or that they will use them in the future.
It is not that children do not know that their parents are unwilling, but in their view, even if the parents do not take good care of them, they are better than outsiders, at least they will not hurt the children, this idea is true to some extent, but the reality is more magical.
In the elders, the brothers tacitly agree that the parents' property will be divided into brothers in the future, and the sisters will not share. Parents pension, brothers a few equal sharing, sisters do not need to bear.
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If someone between brothers refuses to provide for the elderly, the problem is basically in the parents, either overdogling, or excessive eccentricity, or the parents do nothing, and the family affection disappears. There are very few born inverse children.
When a daughter gets married, the dowry depends on the wishes of her parents, and the dowry and the dowry of normal people are equal; the dowry given by the parents of the distressed daughter is higher than the dowry; the family of the daughter who does not care about the daughter, the things done are unbelievable, and the girl lives in the in-laws' house.
There are many parents who marry their daughters to see their sons' faces.
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If it is dependent on the son to provide for the elderly, it is more common for parents to fear that their son will be angry. Especially the kind of children who have a relatively large age difference, the son has been in the family for several years, the daughter is still studying or has not yet married, if the parents can earn money is fine, can not earn, the daughter has to die bitterly, the parents can not tolerate not to say, brothers and sisters-in-law have any face.
If you don't rely on your son for the elderly, afraid of giving your daughter more dowry, your son is not happy, I really don't know what they are afraid of? The Chinese people insist on having sons, the reason is nothing more than the end of the pension, the succession of the family, face, emotional needs and so on.
There is no need for a son to provide for the elderly, if the son is sent to the end, the son can not send the daughter can be sent; emotional needs, the daughter can not provide; inheritance, reproduction is biological instinct, to give the daughter a dowry does not hinder the son's instinct; face, if the birth of a son is face, as long as the son is alive This face is still there, will the son commit suicide because his parents give his sister more money?
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I once didn't understand why some parents who did not rely on their sons for the elderly would say to their daughters who were about to marry: We also want to give you more (dowry), but I am afraid that your brother will not be happy...
This is probably not afraid of the son, or I don't want to give the daughter more dowry, but I am afraid that the daughter will not be happy and ignore them after the end, so I use the son as a shield (of course, the son is not happy is also true).
Parents feel that they have to rely on their sons when they are old, but looking at the actual situation, they also understand that their sons may not be reliable: can people who have always regarded their parents' property as a bag and have no regard for the flesh and blood of their siblings who grew up together can be relied on?
I want to leave a way back for myself: my daughter.