Zhuang Di Xiaomeng / Seeing the essence through the story
An original emotion number that deserves your attention
Illustration/from the web
The famous thinker Marx once said: "If you want to live a beautiful life, only two people are united, because the half of the ball cannot roll, so the important task of each adult is to find the half that matches himself." ”
People are social animals, and everyone needs a group of their own, to withstand the wind and rain, not to be bullied by others.
Everyone calls this group home, which is composed of family members, who support each other and advance and retreat together.
With a family, there is no loneliness; with a home, there is no need to wander.
But starting a family is a very difficult thing for some people, and there is a friend who has been on a blind date 40 times but still has not been able to enter the marriage hall.
His failure did not lie in the conditions, but in his refusal to "confess his fate" from beginning to end.
In real life, there are many people like him.
If they can see through this, they will not be single to 30 or so.
What is "confession"?
Hong Baode once said: "How a person grasps his own destiny is more important than how his fate is." ”
Grasping fate is an act that combines reality and rational planning, rather than arbitrarily confronting fate and ignoring the actual situation.
On the contrary, people should confess their fate a lot of times. Especially young people who are still single in their 30s should understand this truth.
Recognize age disadvantages.
"Dream of the Red Chamber" Jia Shuqiang once said when marrying Mandarin Duck: "Since ancient times, Chang'e loved teenagers, and she probably hated me for being old." ”
This is true, women will dislike men for being old, and in the same way, men will also dislike women for being old.
How can a person in his 30s compare to a person in his 20s? People are born with a good look association, and it is instinctive to like young and good-looking members of the opposite sex.
As a result, single men and women in their 30s face a great disadvantage, and this disadvantage will gradually become more serious with the loss of years.
Understand the limitations of the range of mate selection.
Single men and women in their 30s are far less diverse in their choices than those in their 20s.
If the range of choices for young people in their 20s is a vast ocean, then the range of choices for single men and women in their 30s is only one river.
This is the actual situation that everyone is facing at the moment, and everyone should accept the reality.
Not "admitting one's fate" is the main reason why it is difficult for leftover men and women to get rid of a single
Hugo said: "Dare to confront fate is genius." ”
If this sentence is used in academics and careers, it is naturally positive energy, but if it is used for marriage and love, it is undoubtedly a poisonous chicken soup.
School and career are ideals, while marriage is reality.
Many older single men and women have been unable to get rid of the single because they are unwilling to compromise with fate.
On the one hand, do not die, the pursuit of the perfect lover.
They firmly believe that they can one day meet the ideal perfect partner, who not only meets their requirements in terms of conditions, but also matches them in personality and three views.
Anyone who has had life experience knows that this idea is unrealistic in itself.
There is no perfect lover in this world, and all love and fit are the final result through running-in.
There are no two identical leaves in the world, naturally there are no two people who are exactly the same, people are independent individuals, everyone has independent thoughts and personalities, how can they be so compatible with you?
On the other hand, it is swirling around in the whirlpool of "high is not high, low is not enough".
Some people are not idealists, but they are also easy to fall into the situation of high and low.
They can't look up to them, and they can't look up to them.
At the end of the day, it's just that they haven't recognized reality yet.
Although they do not pursue the perfect lover, they have also made a wrong assessment of themselves, so they have been trapped in the vortex of high and low.
"Confessing one's fate" is the key to the difficulty of leaving men and women to get rid of the single
Elizabeth once said, "Love is beautiful, marriage is realistic." ”
If a person wants to get rid of the single, he must recognize the reality, and what you think is not to recognize life is just a senseless struggle.
Life is realistic, not how you want to be, so it is important for older men and women to take off the list and recognize reality.
First, clarify their own disadvantages
You must be clear about your disadvantages and don't cover your ears and ring the bell, this is just a manifestation of self-deception.
Life, old age, illness and death are the norm for people, and when a person begins to age, it is when his life begins to depreciate.
Recognize the disadvantages of age, recognize the inadequacies of conditions, and understand the fact that you are just an ordinary person.
Use self-knowledge to find the right other half.
Second, the door-to-door pair is the standard
From ancient times to the present, most marriages are based on the foundation of door-to-door pairs, and the elderly often warn everyone to adhere to the principle of "wooden door to wooden door, chai door to chai door".
Therefore, ordinary people want to change their fate by marriage, the success rate is minimal, and it is wise to find a partner who matches them.
Third, look less at conditions and more at people
Many older men and women value conditions when looking for a significant other, such as each other's height and looks, family status and age, work and income.
These conditions, while important, are far less than a person's character and character.
The so-called marriage is to live with this person, not to live with conditions, conditions will change, only people are difficult to move by nature.
Therefore, we should not set too many rules and regulations for marriage, originally after the age of the choice is narrow, and then use rules and regulations to block a group of people, you can find the other half of the chances of a sharp decline.
Original author of the Zhuang Di Xiaomeng/Emotional Column
May your life be full of surprises, and may your happiness come as scheduled.