I often see many little fairies asking: Sister Baby, how can I get off the list?
In fact, I have taught a lot of methods, if you still want to learn something different, I would like to introduce an old friend who focuses on studying detachment to you.
It can be said that in order to help the girl get rid of the single, he broke his heart, and the relevant books have been written to the second book.
He is - Hunter Teacher.
I first met him many years ago at an offline event. At that time, the hunter teacher was wearing a white coat and hanging a stethoscope, and the image of the "emotional doctor" was impressive.
At that time, I thought it was very good, so that I can stand out from the crowd in an unfamiliar environment and impress others.
It has attracted both attention and curiosity - if everyone can do this, expanding the circle of communication and getting rid of the list is actually a difficult task.
He is a very effective emotional concept and technique.
It's just that at that time, our main research directions in emotion were very different, so we didn't have a deep understanding.
Later, the hunter teacher began to focus on the field of female emotions, focusing on single-handedness and communication skills, etc., so that we had the opportunity to lecture together and become familiar.
My class time and Hunter teacher have always been staggered, so I have never had the opportunity to listen to Hunter teacher's class live.
But the "very good" evaluation of his course kept reaching my ears.
I heard that there are rumors in the emotional circle that the hunter teacher taught people to send a message for a thousand yuan.
He is stable and ruthless in solving emotional problems with customized speech techniques, and has also been nicknamed "Xiao Li Feidao" by students, which shows that his professional level and ability are indeed widely recognized.
As a male emotional mentor, he has a great advantage, that is, he understands men better.
He knows what men are thinking, and he knows what men are more receptive to, and for getting rid of singles, understanding more dry goods from the boy's perspective is a very beneficial supplement.
When I held the offline class of the wedding ruler before, I also invited the hunter teacher to be the guest of honor, and I have been communicating intermittently.
A few days ago, we chatted, he said that in addition to getting rid of the list, he has recently been deeply engaged in speech skills, and also sent me a course content with the theme of [praise]. The content is very interesting and practical, and it is very suitable for everyone to see.
So I invited the hunter teacher over, and then let him talk to everyone by himself~
Hi everyone, I'm a hunter. All the time, dolls have given me a lot of useful help.
For 12 years, I have been teaching in the field, and the course record is 10,000 bad reviews, and 85% of them still continue to study relationship and marriage courses with me after leaving the list.
When the industry talks about "getting off the list", the first thing that comes to mind is often me.
Published the single-handedness book "I Don't Have a Boyfriend Yet" that teaches you how to post a circle of friends and transform chat, and the doll also helped me make the preface at that time, and it sold out as soon as it was published.
In all technical aspects of delisting, I have been developing effective, useful, and surprising new dry goods for everyone, such as words.
The doll said that everyone likes the content of the speech technique, let me share with you, how girls should praise boys with sweet mouths.
One day, a student sent me a screenshot of the chat:
"Hunter teacher, my boyfriend was recognized by the female boss, I praised him, after praising him, I think he is so happy, very sure of me, is this method very effective for him?"
I looked, when her boyfriend showed off to her: "I am still very trusted", I ?! What did she say?
She said, "I'm going to compare her, I'm the one who trusts you in the world!" ”
This little fairy, if you want to hear something sincere, then IMHO, such communication cannot be called a compliment.
Can you see what the problem is? Where is this praising his boyfriend, this is jealous.
She thought she was boasting, but she was actually competing for favors, demanding emotional value, asking for comfort.
The boyfriend also had to follow her words and say: "That's right, you are my dearest wife baby, the world does not trust me, you have to trust me."
Judging from this conversation, this boy usually has no habit of coaxing her.
If you are not strong enough to perceive the boy's inner thoughts, it is actually equivalent to falling in love with your appearance, and talking about it very superficially.
In terms of providing emotional value, it is almost equivalent to a boy alone in a strong position.
If one day you suddenly find out how your boyfriend's attitude has changed, it is when he is tired and does not want to coax anymore.
At this time, he realized that he had never entered his heart, it was late, late, late, late.
I don't know what stage your relationship has developed. If it has passed the sweet period, will the boy coax and feel in his heart: "Thank you, if you want to talk like this, you might as well not praise me, save me from coaxing you back." ”
I don't think it's easy to say, I can't rule out this possibility ha. One day?
You taste, you taste.
Please remember the reason why I speak so hard.
This is typical: you think you're giving and rewarding him, but you're actually taking.
Once, dolls provided everyone with good words:
"I am the happiest person in the world."
"How did I be so lucky to meet you."
"You are my male god, how can you be someone else's spare tire."
……
This time, I also want to add to you the underlying logic of these powerful words, so that you can know what is true and why it is.
According to my long-term observations, when everyone praises boys, they basically focus on one common point, all praise: "He is good to you".
We didn't just say that we wanted to go to his heart, but really enter his heart. Then you need to start realizing that being nice to you is only a small part of a man's life.
No matter how much he loves you and sticks to you, the time he can be with you is a short period of time in terms of the length of his life, at most 10%.
If you want to fully occupy his heart, you need to have a clear mental map in your hand and know what territories are waiting for you to dig.
Here, let's look at the picture:
Just in this example, let's look at his career first, how to boast?
Boys want to achieve a career in their bones, and most men are like this. There are very few who can achieve anything extraordinarily.
Praise the winner, it's easy. The problem is that in the end there are few winners and many losers. There are only three people who can get on the podium, and the bottom is a piece of black pressure.
Aren't they good at the bottom? Also excellent. No one can guarantee that they will be on the podium for the rest of their lives.
Even world champions have a life cycle. Looking at the life of the champion, there are also many failures, and very few successes.
If you focus only on good outcomes, then most people will not be paid attention to most of their life moments.
How to follow? To praise the details, not only to praise his efforts, but also to tell the details.
The students who came to listen to my class, I asked them to restore some key details, they often couldn't speak, saying "no impression, forgot". This shows that she often focuses only on results.
Remember an important mental rule: description is praise.
How to describe? There are three different ways of thinking: timeline, spatial line, and important order.
On a timeline, let's say you want to descriptively compliment him for a ball he played. You can say:
"Wow, the opening three points of the first quarter, you hit the other side by surprise, and they were all blindsided."
"In the second quarter, you passed two guys, and then you shot from mid-range, which was quite exciting."
"Your tackle in the crucial moment in the 4th quarter saved the whole game."
If you could describe it like this, it would be better than, "Great, you're amazing." "It can boast to his heart.
The idea of the timeline praise method, in addition to describing it in the order of time development, also has an important trick:
Do not divide the time evenly, everything is detailed, into a running account, nagging, chattering. Highlight three or so points on it.
Expand the key parts in detail, and the rest will be taken along.
That's just a few of the lessons in my compliment course.
At the same time, remember that praise always ends, and don't keep talking to yourself. He also explains in detail in this lesson how to put it away and how to give space to him.
In addition, "descriptive praise" includes "spatial lines" and "important order methods", as well as "review praise" as opposed to "descriptive praise", etc., a total of 4 major directions and 10 methods, limited to space, can not be expanded here.
When chatting with the doll about this praise class, the doll said, "We should still have fans who need such a course, can you give us a preferential benefit for our fans?" ”
I said, "Of course the benefits have to be given, and they will be very happy if they get a super low price of 5% off." ”
The doll immediately said: "No, if you want to give welfare, you must give a minimum, others don't have that, our other benefits are also issued according to this standard, let's have a 3 discount." Well, this ,,, well, the historical low price was born.