Produced by | Entrepreneurship at the forefront
Author | Li Xiao anti
Edit the | Hu Fangjie
American editor | Don Tang
Every day the holiday approached, the anxiety of Yu Xixi, the "migrant worker" of the big factory, increased by one point. The Spring Festival is approaching, and the suffocating marriage drama is about to be staged.
It's not her trouble alone. Due to the fast pace of work, narrow social circle, and often high expectations, getting rid of orders has become a common problem for many young people in large factories.
In order to get rid of the single, they have used dating software, sent emails to girls/boys in the Douban blind date group, and also looked for their other half in activities such as script killing and frisbee, and even turned their eyes to colleagues who got along day and night.
This group of young people with high education, high income and the aura of a big factory may be able to complete the work KPI close to perfection and get a generous year-end bonus. But when it comes to "off-order KPIs", they always seem inadequate.
1. Young people in large factories do not have the priority to get rid of the order
At the beginning of November 2021, a link called "Dachang 985 Dating Blind Date Document" circulated among Dachang youth, which registered the information of many single young people from Internet companies.
"There are more than 300,000 views a month, and more than 200,000 users have entered the community." Fukatani, the creator of this document and founder of the dating platform "Sweet Love Road", said to "the forefront of entrepreneurship".
Fukaya is a career in emotional counseling and worked for Tencent. Because the male colleagues around him had the problem of getting rid of the single, he pulled the WeChat group to "teach", including how to date, what to wear on a date, what topics to talk about, how to build an intimate relationship, and so on. Later, more and more people in need, he slowly made a blind date platform.
In response to the needs of different users, the Fukaya team also launched a dating platform "Flying Pigeon Chuanshu" for social terrorists.
Young people with high education, high income, and the aura of a big factory do not have the priority to get rid of the order because of these advantages.
When he worked at Ctrip, Lu Yu worked in nearly 20 people, half of whom were single. Xu Qian joined three or four activity groups, each of which had about a dozen friends from the big factory, all single. "Boys and girls are looking for objects, and the strange thing is that the two groups of people are looking for their own and have nothing to do with each other."
Yu Xixi, who used to work in a leading online education company, observed that most of the big factory friends around him started from campus love, and the state of single friends has been very stable - 10,000 years single dog.
It is difficult for young people in large factories to get rid of singles, and it is especially difficult for programmers in large factories.
Among the users of Deep Valley, nearly 40% of the programmers are large factories, who may have outstanding work ability and a lot of income, but they are generally considered to lack romance, straight male style, and difficult to provide emotional value. "Girls always feel bad about such boys."
According to Fukatani's analysis, in the early days of understanding, education and income may be a plus for girls, but as the communication deepens, girls begin to pay attention to their hearts and feelings when getting along. "If they don't call another person, they will decisively end a relationship."
And the youth of the big factories themselves have times of wavering. A lot of income can support a higher quality of life, which makes them feel that it is good to be single, and having a partner is not necessarily happy, and may reduce the quality of life. This kind of thinking makes them go back and forth between "rushing to get off the single" and "staying single".
Xu Qian listed the next 10 things she will do in order of importance, including fitness, improving writing ability, starting a side business, skiing, learning ukulele, etc., and love is also among them, but it is ranked 9th.
Of these to-dos, "finding someone" is the only thing that doesn't determine the value of the return. Before making the list, she originally thought it was important to fall in love, "only to find out after the list is really dispensable, and it can even be deleted." ”
When you have a higher goal, falling in love is no longer the center of life.
Xu Qian believes that falling in love mainly solves two problems: reproduction and avoiding loneliness. The former stems from worldly and parental pressure, and for the latter, "as long as you become fulfilled, you will not feel lonely."
In contrast, it is too difficult to go to the world to select the right people to provide high-quality companionship, and she prefers to invest her time in things that can improve herself and see results quickly.
Xu Qian enjoys a single life, but the people around her always bring her anxiety. Seeing classmates and friends getting off the list one by one, getting married, coupled with her parents urging marriage, an invisible pressure hit her again.
2. Difficult "tasks"
One factor that hinders young people in large factories from getting out of singles is the high-intensity work mode.
Under normal circumstances, Xu Qian leaves work at 9 o'clock, and if she rushes the project, it will be delayed until more than 11 o'clock, and after the new project starts, she will have to work overtime for a week or two continuously.
As a result, love and dating can only be scheduled after overtime or on weekends.
Work has drained their energy and brainpower, and a quiet time alone seems more important to them than to talk to an ambiguous person.
"Sometimes the other person has a good chat, and I just want to finish as soon as possible and watch something that interests me, such as videos, movies, novels, books." Xu Qian said.
The sense of superiority is also a shackle for them to get rid of the single.
"Excellent self-conditions determine the higher criteria for choosing a mate for young people in large factories, and they prefer to find a partner with equal strength." Fukatani said.
From ancient times to the present, the concept of "door-to-door" has always existed, but it is not easy to find such a partner. "The biggest problem is the scarcity of resources to match, and there are also uncertainties in a series of links such as follow-up communication, offline meetings, and determining relationships."
Dachang Park and its surroundings, such as Houchang Village in Beijing, can basically meet the needs of eating, drinking and Lasa, and under normal circumstances, they do not need or have time to "enter the city", which leads to their relatively narrow social circle.
As a result, blind date social platforms, company intranets, and even pulses have become the first choice for young people in large factories who need to get rid of orders.
Photo / The "off the list" post posted by the youth of the big factory in the pulse
Lu Yu has used dating software, sent emails to girls in the Douban blind date group, and also met girls with hearts in entertainment activities such as script killing and frisbee, but there were no results.
Xu Qian does not like to chat awkwardly online, and tends to meet the opposite sex in outdoor activities, which makes her more relaxed than activities with direct blind dates. "Sadly, I haven't met anyone I like so far, and everyone has become friends."
Young people in large factories can stay in the company for 12 hours a day, and can colleagues who get along day and night and know the roots become potential love objects?
For Sisi, this is highly unlikely. Her daily communication with her colleagues is filled with gunfire. "It's good not to quarrel and scold people, it's completely impossible to have relationships outside of work."
For a while, Yu Xixi went to work every day without makeup, "They didn't deserve me to wear makeup." Before it germinated, the workplace romance had been strangled in the cradle by her.
Lu Yu's leadership also secretly matched his colleagues with other departments, and encouraged them to actively participate in the networking activities organized by the client company.
Lu Yu's leaders encourage them to participate in networking activities at client companies
However, he is more averse to office romances, especially with people in the same department or cooperative departments. "If there is a fight or one party has emotions, it will affect the overall work." Lu Yu explained.
Contrary to Lu Yu's ideas, Xu Qian prefers to find a lover in the same factory, or even in the same company. To a certain extent, this represents the "hard conditions" to pass, such as two people with similar educational backgrounds and income levels, common topics, close distance, and convenient meeting.
"Some of my colleagues are charismatic and do a very good job with full marks for details." Xu Qian said, but such excellent people do not lack objects, even if they are single, there is only a short window period. "The probability of the other party being single, and calling each other is too low."
Of course, Xu Qian also "can't look at" some colleagues. For example, if two people have a competitive relationship, if there is a difference of opinion between the two parties, no one will compromise; Another example is poor communication, which in turn produces rejection. She also does not consider the colleagues she often cooperates, and there are too many daily intersections, which "feels awkward".
3. Use the idea of work to fall in love
Some media reported that a 97-year-old girl from a big factory successfully got rid of the single through a mind map. She reviewed her years of love experience, set up specific scenes to examine boys, and used personality tests to finally find a suitable love partner from more than 300 people.
This girl's way of getting off the order has a clear big factory style: clear purpose and efficiency first.
There are many large factory customers in Deep Valley, which also show such characteristics.
"They're more eager to know the match and feedback." Fukaya said that compared with ordinary white-collar workers, the purpose of big factory people is more direct: to fall in love and get married.
"Big factory people are stressed, busy at work, and don't have so much energy, time, and slow contact with each other." Fukatani says that among the clients he has successfully removed, the time can be as short as a week.
"Reducing time costs" is a criterion for many large factory people on the road to getting rid of singles. And this can also be a barrier to a successful relationship.
In addition, the difference between men's and women's acting styles is also a practical problem to be faced in the process of getting rid of the list. The two parties in a blind date have very different attitudes towards the matter of "confirming the relationship". Boys are often eager to advance relationships in the hope of a definitive answer; Girls are more likely to have a slow heat by nature and want to be exposed slowly.
Fukatani's advice for male and female clients is also different: advise boys not to be too eager, and advise girls to understand each other from multiple angles.
The difference in thinking between boys and girls is also reflected in the identity of "big factory people".
Needless to say, the identity of a large factory person often has to go through many tests to obtain. "Especially girls, will take whether the other party is a big factory person as an important factor to consider." Fukatani said.
This is because most girls are Muqiang, "without knowing other conditions, income and work are one of the criteria for reflecting the boy's ability, and the status of the big factory is often positively correlated with this."
Boys, on the other hand, do not think so much about the identity of major factories. "They think the conditions match." Fukatani said.
From the perspective of income and other aspects, the identity of the big factory is certainly an advantage, but in love, there may be contradictions that cannot be ignored. High income and overtime mean they lack the companionship of their significant other, and thus cannot take on too many family responsibilities.
"It depends on the other party's needs, whether it is a relatively high income or more companionship." Lu Yu said. Recently, he was dating a girl from Ali, who worked overtime until 9 o'clock on average four days a week. "As long as she thinks it's okay, I can accept it."
Compared with the identity of the big factory person, Xu Qian pays more attention to whether the three views of the two people match, whether they can chat, whether they get along happily and other spiritual matches.
After all, "the identity of the big factory is only a supporting evidence, and it does not play a decisive role." Xu Qian said.
The year is approaching, it is no longer important to get rid of the list, the most important task for the people of the big factory at present, it is time to think about how to deal with another round of "marriage urging" torture.
*Note: The title map and partial distribution map in the text are from Photogram and are based on the VRF protocol.